I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjxU2gLsCD
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQATuLSJUV
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ9Kap32dF
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyATrQlbYdg
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg5pjXZay7
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HTxQHDojp
Just silence.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPABVcg4Ec
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgfufVlYKw
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5O5CafU9y
But instead, I turned left.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuqSzwmvhe
Down to the garage level.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QqIQG4uGW
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJPIkg2dPV
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUepujUD3X
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzMoh5kHtU
Same humming vending machine.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKotdKGBrJ
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoXyRRj0gb
My father's would've been three from the end.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWW7xTrH5M
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EhsUas5i2
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucb3Q9qP5h
Boots too clean for the garage.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4BCLfqaZR
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtglHB5lZP
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pzt88NMRB
I could barely see past the brim.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGwQHz75HE
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MDA2rs2ER
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oXVW8ZIb4
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgHX9lWwBx
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2u1MWo6dnf
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9e7vzILVw
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRtuGHS1Jn
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPW7YQ9XHyC
The way my mother cried without sound.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuG5DveW8B
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpwWEG4hZ6
In the masjids.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLmTE3k1Z7
At the community center.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgw01jUy68K
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwJpeO32h2
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcnGz0V7TD
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBy7I6kVkgg
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWUC5zjijy
Access.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEYTHSaHxp
An education I never dreamed of affording.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kmsSloT2x
Tutors. Travel.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4bsHjOLxt
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2xc78x1RE
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYnQVQcFaO
I learned quickly to keep my distance.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5EVI7izAy
To look, but not linger.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsexsKGWgH
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡch5NXtlIBM
Closed my eyes.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKm311FAwrp
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2CkCsmx9K
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjCo0IXpOn
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6W6qnWAGs3
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXR7AGyeZa2
No chatter. No phones ringing.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwgB9aKQVZ
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkx0wfpNTo
Too early.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsMIOCLMuv
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSJT3njRwr
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiotszrJLgU
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyMJCh7znx
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJzLyWBMKM
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡso0RCAPXLG
My stomach knotted.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVRvxcUecf
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2w417DRao3
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SgBHP89Ar
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx6Q4OookG
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfqakXGEWL
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuktMh2AGs
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zAfQ0AusW
No.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3ZBwlArBj
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXeUjdUhRc
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5qtqA8Rnh
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5ZDJyeP5h
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPhaF8m9Sa
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AzMOMLQCo
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