一百零六
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呢番說話我係忍唔住講出黎，但都係真心說話黎，我想比June知道，喺佢對我冷淡既呢段日子入面，我係有幾懷念以前同佢可以成日傾計既日子。
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我唔知當時我哋算去到曖昧階段未，但係即使我哋傾計、出街時冇男女之間既曖昧行為都好，我都係好懷念果段純友誼既日子，單純咁傾下小說，甚至兩個人坐喺圖書館、Cafe唔出聲咁睇小說，已經係果段日子入面最幸福既時光。
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唔知算唔算係意料之中既反應，June沉默咗落黎，乜嘢都冇講。
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「June，呢段日子以，點解妳要避開我？」我緊接又問埋呢句。
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「我…我冇…」June有啲口窒窒咁答我。
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我有一刻驚我咁樣問完之後，佢無論答案係乜都好，佢都會鬆開手，但係冇，佢反而緊緊咁捉實我手臂。
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佢係驚再次走失？定係一種情感既抒發？當時我都唔知，但就係June緊緊捉實我手臂呢個動作，比咗我少少勇氣。
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我哋沉默。
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之後既一段路一直沉默，但係我仍然感覺得到佢係緊緊咁捉實我既手臂。
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雖然話銅鑼灣街頭人多擠逼，但係卡啦OK距離地鐵站同埋我同June啱啱相遇既果個商場唔係好遠，行下行下，就算我哋行得幾慢都好，我哋都就快到。而我哋喺差唔多到既時候，喺果度啲大樓與大樓之間係有啲巷仔，就算係人頭湧湧既銅鑼灣街頭入面，呢啲巷仔都係冇乜人。就係因為June比咗我既少少勇氣，我咬一咬牙，把心一橫將June帶咗去其中一條巷仔停落黎。
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June既反應都幾得意，正常人可能會有啲驚訝做乜嘢無端端走咗入條巷仔入面，但係June就好似毫無反應咁跟咗我入條巷仔，一直到我停落黎，佢先至成頭黑人問號咁望住我，問︰「我哋…到咗？」
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「點會啊？」我失笑道︰「呢度點睇都唔似唱K既地方喇？」
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June面上微微一紅，道︰「我唔係咁既意思…我以為有路上去吖嘛。」
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「我想傾下。」我道︰「喺一個冇人既地方，就我哋兩個傾下。」
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巷仔外面行人熙來攘往，但係巷仔就好似另一個世界咁，好寧靜、好寧靜，如果唔係身後面啲垃圾有啲臭既話，絕對係一個談心既好地方。
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「…傾啲乜嘢啊？」June低下頭冇望住我，有啲不知所措咁問。
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「妳點解呢排係咁避開我？」我選擇再一次單刀直入。
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啱啱同June行咗一小段路，中間好似以前咁樣談天說地傾小說，令我覺得佢唔係討厭我，甚至對我既感情同以前都係一樣…咁點解佢要避開我？莫非…真係好似三家姐咁講？
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亦都係因為啱啱果段路既對話、加埋佢肯捉到我手臂實一實，我個心其實已經定返少少，所以我先夠薑由之前開始已經單刀直入去問June，而唔驚佢突然發火扭頭走人。
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我相信佢唔會。
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June冇即刻答，只係繼續低頭不語，隔咗一陣，佢先至開口︰「我…我都話我冇避你…」
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「June，我感受到架。」我儘量用一個平和、溫柔既語氣去講，我驚June誤會我責備佢。
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「…」
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「妳諗下，我哋之前晚晚會喺facebook度係咁傾計，一傾就可以傾一晚、我哋會WhatsApp大家講無聊嘢、我哋會一齊睇Miki打波、一齊出去買嘢比Miki，之後再去Cafe坐下傾下計、我哋會一齊喺圖書館坐低，然後只係就咁靜靜地一齊喺度睇小說，但就好似兩個人互相陪伴咁…就係咁已經好幸福…」
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我講到呢度，眼前既June仲係低住頭唔出聲，我諗唔通、睇唔透佢心入面諗緊乜嘢，我唯有繼續落去︰「但係差唔多呢兩個月，呢啲嘢突然之間喺我生命之中消失晒、唔見晒，就好似所有幸福都冇晒咁…我真係好難受啊…就好似…就好似個天冧咗落黎咁，妳知唔知果次妳肯黎睇我社際，我已經好開心，明明以前一路都擁有既嘢，突然間消失得無影無踪，咁艱難先可以重溫一次…」
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我將心入面既感受講晒出黎，不過June依然只係低下頭…
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「June…妳可唔可以話我知點解？」我最後用一個問句黎作為我既總結。
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June仍然係唔出聲，繼續只係低住頭。
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突然間，有一滴水點滴咗落地上面。
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「June…？」我有啲愕然咁叫咗佢一聲…
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「Rex…你可唔可以…唔好再講喇…」June把聲有啲顫抖咁話。
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（待續）
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