I don't know why I keep disappearing like that on here, maybe because I've lost inspo to do certain things. And I want to come back to posting on here, but I find it really hard. Anyways, I wanted to share something about myself on here, and I know I shouldn't because it's very weird when people post about their personal but anyways. There's this boy, and this boy is a boy I like. And he likes me back, but it's complicated, because there's moments where it's us, and he looks at me like he actually means everything he says, and then he goes back to his ex, and they're not even together, but they act all buddy-buddy, and it bugs me a lot. The other thing that bothers me is when he kisses me, he kisses me like he has nowhere to be, but then it's like the kiss never exists and we're friends all over again, and this is where back to friends by sombr comes in, because literally how can we go back to being friends when we just shared a bed? (this time a kiss) and then I tell him it's FWB, but he says he doesn't want to call us that, and he says he wants to give me a chance, but he can't because of her. But they're broken up, does that mean she still cares who he hangs around even after they're not seeing each other anymore? So then I'm left here wondering if it was all just for show, and he doesn't really want me, and that he just hates me, or lost feelings. And my birthday was last Saturday, he didn't even wish me happy birthday, the next day I texted him, and it's like I didn't even know him, he was acting different. So these past few days I haven't texted him, to test out if it was true. That he only texts me if I text first, and it came true. On the other hand, I feel like he just gives me the 'attention' or whatever, because he feels bad. And I get who wouldn't feel bad for me, but at least be honest, and don't do something just because you feel like if you don't do it, you'll make me feel like shit. And he is making me feel like shit, genuinely. And I hate it, because now I promised to a lot of things I wouldn't be like his ex, crazy, obsessive, possessive, toxic. But now at school, I can't help but be those things, without truly actually showing them. And it hurts because I know it's not my place to act that way, nor is it my place to be obsessed with him, because he isn't mine like that. And I know I shouldn't be saying all this on this platform because billions of people might read it, but it's true. And sometimes I cry myself to sleep, thinking if he's thinking of me, or if he's even acknowledging that I still exist somewhere in this world. But yeah that's it...
I'll be posting more often now, especially on Afterlight Burn, not so much on Perfect Lies or Sinking In The Deep End because I've lost my inspo for those stories, but for sure I will finish Afterlight Burn before Christmas I promise. I love you guys, mwah!
ns216.73.217.69da2
and then Add to home screen.