隔天夜裡，風從窗縫鑽進來。房間裡很安靜，只有鍵盤偶爾的敲擊聲。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYDReVUq3n
賴夏陽正坐在書桌前看著模擬考解答，眼神有些恍惚。他揉了揉太陽穴，覺得最近頭老是痛，胸口也悶得很。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvqpk0OOeZ
「應該只是太累了吧……」他低聲說，拿起水杯灌了一口。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnP3YqbkkU
但下一秒，他突然開始猛烈地咳嗽——
一聲接著一聲，喉嚨像被火燒一樣難受。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQ54tCLLLA
他急忙起身想去廁所，卻沒走兩步就扶著牆滑坐下來。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfQpQ9lLQ1
咳嗽沒有停，他的手掌按住嘴，卻感覺到一陣濕潤的黏膩。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEgbTuzzrq
當他看見掌心那一抹鮮紅時，整個人都愣住了。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdozcJbos1
那不是鼻血——
是血，從喉嚨咳出來的。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadw384mffY
—
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vLWrEEXmx
他沒有馬上驚慌，只是安靜地坐在地上，看著那血跡發了一會兒呆。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZWPsPXpJF
「……怎麼會這樣？」
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4ljyBI4vC
他的聲音幾乎聽不見。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1ODHHSKxk
幾分鐘後，他勉強起身，洗掉手上的血，換了件衣服，悄悄出門。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7fEJpaCJP
沒有跟任何人說。
他只是覺得，不能再拖了。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JPZ6OVRvP
這件事，他必須一個人知道答案。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3z6szJ5SKM
醫院的空氣聞起來總是混著消毒水味道，冷冷的，有點刺鼻。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCccezTZQE
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvGZ0gvvCa
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqPaXk5MtS
賴夏陽拿著掛號單，坐在等候區的角落，帽子壓得低低的，背包放在腳邊。他左手插著口袋，右手握著手機，螢幕亮著，但他根本沒在看。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtZXKKNkoG
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu23ROSuc0I
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRjJFeFyem
他沒告訴任何人。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qBMgLBHIR
不是不信任，只是——不想讓別人擔心。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaCYjrhAS9
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDUwlAQTt2
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWUEWjgTvX
「賴夏陽先生，請進診間三。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTN0aeIJS3E
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTer0NpAYQM
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他站起來，深吸一口氣，走進診間。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9Re720hmG
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—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFmsTaLFZI
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醫生是個中年男人，戴著眼鏡，臉上表情一如既往的冷靜與專業。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJgeyMcbVf
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoinwA5vM7A
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KhINZKOtF
他看著報告，看了很久。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2JN9mUkxj
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJ1zH6tzFJ
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDtVhjPS8g
「你的影像資料我們已經仔細判讀過了。」醫生說，聲音平靜卻緩慢，「目前來看，肺部的異常陰影已經明顯擴散，我們懷疑是惡性腫瘤。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UViQf6Yry
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7hdgWLPRC
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslUnN6vJfv
賴夏陽一時間沒有反應。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPse6GtPtOy
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQt6TNO9yk
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQSoTPdLNW
他甚至下意識笑了一下：「惡性……什麼？」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYK3Uv1uKPJ
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzE7Gdha3R
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNOQYwNaAy
「肺腺癌，第三期偏晚。建議你盡快安排更進一步的切片與全身檢查，並與家屬討論治療方向，後天再來做一次檢查。」醫生說完這句，才抬起頭看著他：「你今天是一個人來的？」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00e7A1Ozt0
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdNlkzJ0ud
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV414478rA
「嗯……我爸媽都在外地工作，不方便過來。」他語氣輕鬆，但指尖抓緊了背包的拉鍊。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctPStmsiYK
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmxtLwz121
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjfeR6M2s5
「這不是小病，孩子。」醫生的語氣比剛才溫柔了些，「如果你信得過我，我們會陪你走下一步，但你要讓身邊的人知道。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGFVlFktcn
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6qcDsIoHW
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZbHXiH3vP
夏陽笑了笑：「我知道了。謝謝你。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmLhqQiY4N
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UDik7ZW6J
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—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlg3wYnXSsB
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走出醫院那一刻，陽光很強。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbyfH5SqrM
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQT9EDj6W9r
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKNrTG7YBV
他站在門口的陰影下，低頭看著手裡那份檢查報告。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98lR7uGLCT
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM8hEbg6Sn
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6D2XcdVoIr
手有一點抖。他不記得自己最後一次怕成這樣是什麼時候——是國小第一次騎腳踏車摔倒？還是那次父母吵架，把家裡東西摔得亂七八糟？15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcdExK0843
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都不是。這種感覺更孤單。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WfEEXYOCC
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15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLx4hUw7Jg
他把報告折起來，收進背包最底層。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XJtqiAMtg
接著掏出手機，給冬月傳了一則訊息：15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Qgb7U7Ecp
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt2K1RevAa
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【等等要不要吃甜不辣？我今天嘴巴很饞。】15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENev7ZZ4TK
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZxcYCybGl
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbRltPAF76
螢幕亮起時，心裡的某個東西也默默碎了一小塊。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFwiX0nLtz
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xu7GhKTas
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnI2qwyPEw3
但他的語氣，還是一如往常的陽光。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdQlspOIO3
這天，醫院裡沒什麼人，窗外陰雲低壓，像雨快要落下。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHOJznNrX5
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1ld7kPmsc
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdNThTLKd1
賴夏陽坐在診間外，一隻手撐著額頭，一隻手握著手機，螢幕停在一張和陳冬月的合照。照片裡她笑得很甜，笑眼彎彎，而他就在旁邊笑著看她。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0LbtjTq92
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRT6GDShhGT
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診間的門開了。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOV5HNyQnK
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15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFV7TQWCrlK
「賴夏陽，進來吧。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnXRXgRp5g
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSzHXkNfhJ
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesCJRWYNxF
—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9FQAGgVW9
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15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQabxpE97i
這次的報告比上次厚了一些。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLrsjpY8Wl
醫生沒有立刻說話，而是翻閱資料，再三確認過數據後才抬起頭。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZl51MdoX6X
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvosJLxX8y
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrJykH9uxP
「夏陽，這次的結果出來了。我們已經進行過切片、影像與血液標記檢查……很遺憾地告訴你——你目前的病情是肺腺癌第四期，癌細胞已經轉移到淋巴與骨骼組織。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3xiYe7qnL
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlBcwTmzJS
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QXpxjiyeF
他愣了一下，眼睛眨也沒眨，但胸口突然像被重錘打了一下。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt49LHCqQKP
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxtRZoPl9G
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gbq9ugUTZ
醫生語氣盡量柔和：「以目前情況來看，若不接受侵入性治療，存活期大約只剩下三個月左右。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4vWdYjtZk
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkZetDYlap
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU9OdRvL5U
「……三個月。」他重複了一次，聲音低得像喃喃自語。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtgeeQwKa9
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCPyqEVvoM
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOr42Ijpu2
「是。」醫生點頭，「如果願意配合化療、標靶，或許可以爭取更多時間，但這些治療……會很辛苦，副作用也很強。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPyg5DiN3U
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPTigIDhia
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbGpA0ZjHM
賴夏陽沒有馬上說話，只是靜靜地坐著，視線落在桌面某個角落。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoHyVKDYg0
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XgutoDFdG
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69dydMG1L1
「這些話你今天第一次聽到，可能會很難接受。」醫生遞了一杯水給他，「你需要一些時間，也建議你讓家人知道，這不是你可以獨自扛下的事。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMj7hEHXpA
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ40RBxi9r1
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他看著那杯水，手卻沒伸出去。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdP4g1vXUs4
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0SOO47LEm
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPAVxAfzl3
「……謝謝你告訴我。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqcnPnyZa3
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CqL2Ot0fk
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「夏陽——」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMasDSOLq4x
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqf2Ryg5Wk
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv02hY0GO9O
「我知道該怎麼做。」他輕輕打斷醫生，語氣還是那麼平靜，「我只是……還有幾個人，我想再陪陪他們，然後，我會處理好我自己的事。」15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtADgmWtN7
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGn9ymnj4Gp
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbotIoER4dh
—15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikhj8wDbZa
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走出診間的時候，他沒哭。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8W7UQmRNr
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15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncGCM0XkaL
只是手指一直摩擦著褲邊的縫線，像是用這個動作提醒自己還活著。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFoTBlEmuF
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRpvCAo5nB
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三個月。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvu1QDIT3Ro
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15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rwWSxG3fo
這是醫生說出口，但彷彿用刀刻在他心口的字。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0E5azCwXhQ
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfyNO1TTG4
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCokcU98pPF
他走到醫院樓下，站在陽光底下。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRfPblFsLV
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomHUmidsZ7
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyrjLTBSjI
這天的天氣很好，天空藍得像不會崩塌的夢。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2rvZrvAHc
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlvstsjNf0
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXL7kvuxljm
可他知道，自己的世界，開始倒數了。
醫生說，只剩三個月。15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJeKqlwurm
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsbcutkS8T
「不過也有例外。」
「你可以選擇化療，但……機會不大。」
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yt9mlBu3s
他搖了搖頭。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEMdDYTzAY
他想到冬月。
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不行，他不能讓她親眼看見他一點一點地衰弱。
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那會成為她一輩子的夢魘。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuKxsS5QtU
他要把最好的自己，留在她記憶裡。
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—
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWQvOHCXMA
那幾天，他突然變得格外貼心，天天接她放學、帶她去吃她喜歡的甜點、看電影、吹風，什麼都順著她。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDYPOE5FUT
冬月察覺到他的異樣，卻說不上來是哪裡。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySV3x26qKY
她只知道，這幾天像一場夢。
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是他們之間，最美的一場夢。
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—
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幾天後，他開始變冷淡，不再主動、不再回訊息，眼神也不再柔軟。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjW3gBNYjv
她問他：「你怎麼了？」
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraVa7b0Ukg
他只是淡淡地說：「我們……是不是該給彼此一點空間？」
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFh0BkHB2N
她愣住。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZRAWRAs94
一顆心，瞬間凍住。
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—
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然後，他消失了。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBoGx84f6v
只留下一封信。
15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBokTEHfjhR
「小月亮，對不起，我太自私了。我不想讓妳看著我慢慢死去。妳值得更好的人生、更完整的愛。
所以我選擇一個人去走這段路——
到我人生最後的冬天。」
然後按「加至主畫面」