Three years.
Three years with Nova Rae Blackwell—the only woman I ever wanted to be something better for.
The one girl who made me want to slow down, fix the broken parts, be a man worth holding onto.
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But man, the pressure?
It’s like carrying a weight made of glass.
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Every day, I try to be perfect for her—perfect in the way she deserves.
Not the angry, broken guy she met.
The guy who snaps, who pushes, who’s got all these scars she never asked to see.
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But the harder I try, the more it feels like I’m just digging myself deeper.
Like there’s this voice in my head whispering: You’ll never be enough.
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I started lying to her.
Little lies at first—late nights at work, meetings that never happened.
Then the big ones.
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The first time coke touched my lips, it felt like control. Like a way to silence the noise inside my head—the expectations, the fear, the self-doubt.
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It was a mistake.
A dark, twisting mistake.
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But the harder I fought, the more I fell.
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And the cheating… God, the cheating was worse.
Not because I didn’t love Nova—because I do. More than anything.
But because I was broken, and I didn’t know how to say it.
So I ran.
Ran into someone who didn’t know the weight I carried.
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The nights I came home late, smelling like sin and regret, I watched her from across the room.
Trying to convince myself she’d never see the cracks forming in the man I was supposed to be.
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She deserved better.
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I deserved better.
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But right now?
I’m just a man lost in the chaos of trying to hold it all together.
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And I’m scared that when the truth comes out—when she finally sees what I’ve done—it’ll all be gone.
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The love.
The trust.
The us.
She walked in too quiet.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToXOJrdeTs
Too steady.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsN47h4gnH
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Nova’s never been the silent type—unless she’s loading a bullet behind her eyes.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBlsFZ47m4
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She didn’t sit. Didn’t yell.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatFRx3J4Gc
Just stood there in front of me, her jaw locked like she was keeping herself from screaming.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2M5W4sClzt
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She placed her phone on the table between us, screen-down.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCmJ9L5Rvh
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“You been cheating on me, Saint?”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XCWXIQ3Z2
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I leaned back on the couch, like that could put space between me and what I already knew was coming.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXZL3yTNxM
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“What?” I let out a low laugh. “Nova, c’mon. You really believe that?”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUH6jbgx0Y
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She didn’t blink.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjkstZWKR4
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“Tell me again.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSY4sncE4D6
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“I’m not cheating. You’re being insecure.” I shrugged. “You overthink everything, and now you’re dragging this sh*t up outta nowhere.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ud5PjJhGB
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She slid the phone across the table and tapped the screen.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCcKcgea0G
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“Play that.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsFWtAvcOZ
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I hesitated.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNd9l5ov6f
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“Play. It.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mqQJO7Wa2
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I picked it up. Tapped the audio file.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ959i2n6XIc
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And there it was—my voice. Clear as day.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEozKnBQSzA
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“She’s wild, but I like it. Keeps things interesting. Like, she’s beautiful, sure—but it’s the chaos that makes it exciting.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhEopRzshj
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Then laughter.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgDPfoMK6x
A woman’s voice, smug and flirty.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19Tpi5iW2D
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“So you stay with her ‘cause she’s crazy?”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wsUIsgsWK
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And me again.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdqqoDeF3e
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“She needs me. That’s the thing. Girls like her always crash eventually—and I’ll be the one she runs back to.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1VxM3xED8
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I locked eyes with Nova. My heart hit the floor.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwUiWMioKm
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“It wasn’t like that,” I started, throat dry.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWxYtYJYFo
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“No?” she asked, voice shaking. “Then what was it like, Saint?”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIFnvSVTd7
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“I was just… talking. Trying to get her to leave me alone. You know how people twist things—”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlavAF0sJDw
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“Those were your exact words. I didn’t twist a damn thing.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksFxwZRnKK
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I stood, hands clenched. “You’re overreacting—”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSG98hbVFN0
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“No, I’m reacting exactly how I should.” Her voice cut like glass. “You let another woman lie next to you and feed off pieces of me—our relationship. You didn’t just cheat. You degraded me.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4TGPSk9HO
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I stepped closer. “Nova, please. You know that’s not what I meant—”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiesIeR40R
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“But it’s what you said.” Her eyes were glassy, but not from tears—just restrained fire.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEk44ibPvQ
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“You called me wild. Broken. Chaotic.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95RVbjNGuU
She paused. “And you said you liked it. Like I was some kind of pet project that makes you feel alive when your own soul is dead.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjHmTkAIn1
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I shook my head, heat rising to my ears. “I messed up. I know that. But you don’t get to paint me as a villain for one slip-up—”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66l3idpBxv
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“Slip-up?” she whispered, stepping in close.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMDBgN6Hiq
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“You don’t get to tell the world I’m a beautiful disaster and expect me to still hold you like you’re my peace.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xtAvtBYNT
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“I love you, Nova.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOhx7wmOsv
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She flinched. Just a little. Then:23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2CLbSvZBo
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“No. You love the control. You love the idea of me needing you.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVGdEXQtfR
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I reached for her wrist. She pulled away.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr7MtoHeXK
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“I loved you like you were oxygen. You loved me like I was fire—you liked the burn, but never wanted to get too close.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvc15NkcjfS
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The silence hit harder than any slap.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6ENeq15Ra
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She turned to leave, but stopped at the door.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GLO0WXHO7
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“Next time you lie to someone about me, Saint—make sure they don’t record it.”23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWskouafMj
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Door slammed.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSiUCQrYGm
And I was left with her voice echoing in my head.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGX0uxxEjLk
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Not the one on the tape.23Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTFjPXqcrO
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The one that finally decided she was done.
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