wonders. - Dear diary, (14)

10/26/2026321Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLezAn9URRI

Dear diary,

Her.

In my world she's the star I search for every night. The one which outshines everyone even if she wears a ripped shirt and has messy makeup.

She's the one I'd pick in a room filled with people who I love, because only she would be there.

She's the one I rely on.

To cheer me up.

To make me happy.

To help me enjoy life even in a bad state.

Her laughs make me smile. Her smiles warm my heart, because I know she's happy.

But then I wonder.

I wonder what hides behind that smile.

I wonder if that smile is fake.

I wonder how many unspoken words are trapped in that mouth.

I wonder how many unshed tears are being held captive behind those pretty eyes.

I wonder what those eyes have seen.

I wonder what things those ears of hers have heard.

I wonder what thoughts linger in her mind.

Or how many times her heart had stopped beating due to terror.

Fear.

Panic.

But I'm scared to ask. I'm scared to give her flashbacks of unwanted things which make her shake like a leaf.

Which make her breakdown.

Cry.

Upset.

I'm scared to see her in a bad state.

Wet, red eyes.

Red face.

Tears running down her cheeks.

A big frown.

Pale skin.

Shaky hands.

Shaky voice.

And anything other than joy and light on her face.

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