He had nightmares for me. It's strange. Ever since I could remember, I've never actually had nightmares, or I've been ignorant to them when I wake up. However, he has them-- nightmares, but he doesn't speak them, he doesn't share them.
I would say he's intense, but at the same time, he isn't. He feels emotions so much thicker than I do, it's scary sometimes. He can get really angry, so angry his face gets hot, and then he'll be so sad, that I want to take his pain, and then he's happy, so joyous... He just, feels emotions like that. I, on the other hand, didn't, and still do not.
I remember when my mother sat me down, and said to me, "He just feels differently than you, give him space." Of course, my response then was reluctancy to leave him alone, but I did anyway. He was my brother after all, and he took my nightmares away. Somehow.
My Dad said to me once, "Your brother used to dream about you a lot when you were a kid."
"Like what?" I asked. My bother and I had just gotten into a fight about something I don't remember now.
"He dreamed you were in a basket, and floating down a river. He'd run as fast as he can," I remember the look in my father's eyes, the same intensity I'd see in my brothers. "And he couldn't save you."
And from that moment on, I recognized my brother as something else entirely. As a hero, an anchor, a friend. My perspective hasn't changed. Even as my old bones take steps, slowly, towards him.
My brother; he took my nightmares, he was my protecter, and even felt emotions for me. I'm not a blank slate that was never molded, no, I'm a strong willed character myself, but my brother... Well, he was that and even more.
I am first in line, glancing at the rose that I held in my hand, the thorns pricked off and the stem was shiny and smooth. The rose was red, so red and intense. And as I lay it down on his chest, motionless and cold, I realize;
My brother's been painted red his entire life, and I was able to see it so vividly.
-In memory of all good brother's out there and their loved sisters,
LovelySheree
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