保母車照例送她回家,在熟悉的巷口停下。星野莉奈道了謝,自己拎著包包下車,朝家的門口走去。54Please respect copyright.PENANA1MvM7A68K1
54Please respect copyright.PENANAkIizpAfhVq
夜裡的風很輕,路燈把影子拉得很長。她聽見鞋跟在路面上輕輕敲出的聲響,一聲一聲,孤獨得像在空白的紙上打字。54Please respect copyright.PENANAchPazr94ma
54Please respect copyright.PENANAgSULmskZEW
進了家門,星野莉奈換上室內拖鞋,動作輕得幾乎聽不見聲音。54Please respect copyright.PENANA9NCXfxPOcZ
54Please respect copyright.PENANAot6DP0N2RZ
包包放在玄關的小桌上,她頓了頓,還是小心地擺正,把背帶理順。54Please respect copyright.PENANADCGZ4DTWme
54Please respect copyright.PENANAiVplA3aDw6
外套掛好,扣子一顆一顆扣上。收拾得,像在收拾自己。54Please respect copyright.PENANAlXE6S5AJ3u
54Please respect copyright.PENANAc47DFg2iw9
她取出放在外套口袋裡的手機,走到客廳,放在長桌上,靜靜坐下。54Please respect copyright.PENANAQnsTp92bn8
客廳很安靜,只有冰箱運轉的低鳴聲在耳邊繞。54Please respect copyright.PENANASTE904x5nM
54Please respect copyright.PENANAL2rM5aO3D5
星野莉奈抱著膝蓋,坐在沙發的一角,手指輕輕摳著自己衣服上的線頭。54Please respect copyright.PENANAYR04BwmFBs
54Please respect copyright.PENANAsHyQG1v7Bi
過了很久,她才伸手拿起手機。54Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZOXdOQscq
54Please respect copyright.PENANAyFWfQJuTwP
打開通訊軟體,滑到最上方那個置頂的對話框。54Please respect copyright.PENANA4XEek2xjkD
54Please respect copyright.PENANA1sHP7Dovf0
上一次的訊息還停留在五天前,在他們要去球賽前,只有一行簡短的「你在球場上的樣子真的超帥」。54Please respect copyright.PENANAFn3lKKE0Mh
54Please respect copyright.PENANA2c5MGs0WyP
只有已讀標記,沒有新的回覆。54Please respect copyright.PENANAEC6rY5ABG6
54Please respect copyright.PENANAAFCcvDgvZz
她盯著那個對話框看了很久很久。指尖滑動到輸入欄,敲了幾個字,又慢慢刪掉。54Please respect copyright.PENANAXsBsMukH9n
54Please respect copyright.PENANAiawrxUmr7E
想說什麼呢?54Please respect copyright.PENANAf8O47LDqDH
說「你看起來很好」嗎?54Please respect copyright.PENANAKHeVtLasf7
太多餘了——他會看到,但也不一定會回。54Please respect copyright.PENANAGajHcaAkC1
54Please respect copyright.PENANAz53BrxLFMm
說「我今天也有努力喔」?54Please respect copyright.PENANAm0Le5COo7e
會不會像是在邀功?要期待人家回什麼?54Please respect copyright.PENANAJYrZ2o7Xl0
54Please respect copyright.PENANAl1ooA0H1xL
還是問「你的比賽怎麼樣」?54Please respect copyright.PENANAukvrbBXDWE
「你有沒有揍那個前鋒了」?54Please respect copyright.PENANA2A6uhfc5ll
54Please respect copyright.PENANAHv1SUnNe4S
可是他可能沒空詳細說他們的賽況;也沒有理由真的去揍那個前鋒。54Please respect copyright.PENANAcyY6XQVHu8
54Please respect copyright.PENANAgBK8vpQNl6
那——要不要乾脆只傳一個表情符號?54Please respect copyright.PENANACNJtd3qYUO
一個不會被誤會、也不會太明顯的微笑?54Please respect copyright.PENANAEwptbqiN1r
54Please respect copyright.PENANAsqnOZw4fKn
還是——54Please respect copyright.PENANAbP41BFghpI
什麼都不說,只顯示上線狀態,讓他知道,她還在這裡。54Please respect copyright.PENANAOA8AzOfoVt
54Please respect copyright.PENANAbn0DdqoKfN
還在這裡,一個人。54Please respect copyright.PENANAOAvgGld4T6
54Please respect copyright.PENANAHOvGAi6XT6
手機螢幕因為長時間沒有操作,自動暗了下來。54Please respect copyright.PENANAImGo3p5yKM
54Please respect copyright.PENANAhtqYfNv4pE
星野莉奈沒有再打開。54Please respect copyright.PENANAKDqRFABtvv
她把手機翻面扣在桌上,怕再看到什麼,又怕什麼都沒有。54Please respect copyright.PENANAyWzujQn9so
54Please respect copyright.PENANAOpLjMQsRAm
然後,她慢慢縮回沙發的角落,把自己抱得更小。54Please respect copyright.PENANARLUjGeSOgy
外面的風輕輕吹過陽台的門縫,帶來一點夜裡的冷意。54Please respect copyright.PENANAn2Z61YAhOD
54Please respect copyright.PENANAdtDX51Uwgi
她靠著沙發背,閉上眼睛。54Please respect copyright.PENANAaKRRi3Pvqo
54Please respect copyright.PENANAcCKxBPEqW4
沒有哭。54Please respect copyright.PENANA6DYlUyLP4d
54Please respect copyright.PENANAkmc1bW2T7W
也沒有期待誰會來敲門。54Please respect copyright.PENANAKmQN4w8sWw
只是靜靜地,和自己待在這個空蕩蕩的客廳裡。54Please respect copyright.PENANAsMsEgp73Jt
54Please respect copyright.PENANAsqhSa1sEgX
就像很多個夜晚一樣。54Please respect copyright.PENANAqdtwvmX9TR
54Please respect copyright.PENANAY224dvpDfN
她一直都是這樣走過來的。54Please respect copyright.PENANAyi0Za6pW3F
54Please respect copyright.PENANAYclT7rgaXf
這次也可以。54Please respect copyright.PENANAkob4uKN5ME
54Please respect copyright.PENANA1b1ThQN1EQ
「莉奈?」54Please respect copyright.PENANAgrmmzhJJkD
54Please respect copyright.PENANAKoBGQWHGvH
星野莉奈把眼睛睜開,看見媽媽穿著家居服,手上拿著溫熱的巧克力牛奶和提拉米蘇切片蛋糕,還有一小盒切好的水果,輕手輕腳地走下樓來。54Please respect copyright.PENANAb8Lo1iFJs5
54Please respect copyright.PENANAYd7nzWSGtf
「聽到聲音了,才放心。」54Please respect copyright.PENANA8npIGMeZGI
54Please respect copyright.PENANAKNSZYbPu7W
她邊說邊靠近,像是怕驚動什麼一樣,動作溫柔又輕。54Please respect copyright.PENANAUE0TmFHlyA
54Please respect copyright.PENANARMLVZZHOE6
「今天回來時順路看到,就買了一點。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAumKdkoRX7S
54Please respect copyright.PENANAPOS4qGXJs3
媽媽輕描淡寫地笑著,把東西放在茶几上。54Please respect copyright.PENANAiUeDW3kjZf
54Please respect copyright.PENANAnia0bsRJXu
「我可是藏得很辛苦,才沒被妳爸爸偷拿去吃呢。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAl1f3sV1d8D
54Please respect copyright.PENANAUPT3bYcXkd
星野莉奈點點頭,沒說話。54Please respect copyright.PENANAwy3HiJsVFp
54Please respect copyright.PENANAOcNf6aJcZH
「趁熱熱的喝,比較好喝。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAIDE1oLlXs8
54Please respect copyright.PENANAq2evvKvkk2
星野莉奈視線停在那杯巧克力牛奶上,杯緣冒著微微熱氣。旁邊提拉米蘇蛋糕的高脂肪乳酪,上面還填蓋一層層奶油——54Please respect copyright.PENANALDf1GDmZJd
54Please respect copyright.PENANACMnK2dn09r
「不急著變得更好,今天先吃飽就好。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAk7RlZ8R3XN
54Please respect copyright.PENANAe6IrCfNWxf
媽媽笑了笑,拍拍她的手背。54Please respect copyright.PENANAaem0nTMOep
54Please respect copyright.PENANAXt2YvVEtG1
星野莉奈抬起頭,視線越過媽媽的肩膀,落在牆上的那張照片——54Please respect copyright.PENANADSl3HjgpiQ
此刻照片裡的她,正穿著家居服站在自己面前,笑容跟牆上照片模特兒一模一樣——眼神一樣溫柔堅定,聲音一樣輕。54Please respect copyright.PENANASUzkMK85IW
54Please respect copyright.PENANA5SbtVvQdJ7
她鼻尖微微發酸,輕輕點頭。54Please respect copyright.PENANAL0u4WHh0NO
54Please respect copyright.PENANAskhPy3gprN
星野莉奈一直都知道,自己崇拜的那個人——不是因為她站在鎂光燈下,而是因為每一個像現在這樣的時刻。54Please respect copyright.PENANA5eYgzAdYko
54Please respect copyright.PENANAk4v6uUYeRs
媽媽在她對面的單人沙發坐下,輕輕舒了一口氣,像累了很久,終於可以休息一下。54Please respect copyright.PENANAmFDZOeK6QZ
54Please respect copyright.PENANAoUrcuVryt5
過了好一會兒,她才開口,語氣又輕又帶著一點笑意:54Please respect copyright.PENANAnz0f1vXCtl
54Please respect copyright.PENANAqvY1Zja1aA
「還在想小冴啊?」54Please respect copyright.PENANAoUQZYKE6oz
54Please respect copyright.PENANAueVD3wadTg
言語裡帶著寵溺,就像提到什麼頑皮又惹人喜歡的小動物。54Please respect copyright.PENANATY0EBajyJx
54Please respect copyright.PENANAkLPOQoyVBE
星野莉奈怔了一下,眼眶瞬間酸了。低下頭,小小地吸了一口氣,沒回話。54Please respect copyright.PENANAMcRRiO2t9O
54Please respect copyright.PENANAHMux7ShIOH
媽媽沒有逼問,只是歪著頭,笑得更溫柔了些,是心疼,又笑她太傻、太認真。54Please respect copyright.PENANAjVxTtmiEee
54Please respect copyright.PENANAiBE6NCvMVZ
「那孩子啊,從小就不太會說話,悶悶的;嘴巴硬得要命,心卻軟得不得了。明明什麼都放在心上,偏偏開口的時候,說出來的都是會惹人誤會的話。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAUWGG5JuNqu
54Please respect copyright.PENANAtkDBa1uaK3
她笑了一下,沒什麼無奈,彷彿在說自家孩子,再麻煩都覺得可愛。54Please respect copyright.PENANAGtgYnBXHvb
54Please respect copyright.PENANA7Y8nfeRBuZ
「傻得很可愛。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAmMBP2btJ1x
54Please respect copyright.PENANA8PnmBPXhf6
媽媽靠進沙發椅背,像在說一個輕輕的故事。54Please respect copyright.PENANAvGcW7PExD8
54Please respect copyright.PENANAQNCsoSpdLU
「偏偏妳就看得出來,他其實一直有在注意身邊的事——只是他不習慣出聲,不習慣被綁住。就像那天我看他來家裡,鞋子擺得整整齊齊的,手上東西也沒忘記拿,話雖然不多,但我說一句,他都聽得進去。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAFwH9R3KEYR
54Please respect copyright.PENANAG4aQ2QpLYl
星野莉奈咬著唇,肩膀微微顫了一下。54Please respect copyright.PENANA3U9lSqChVQ
54Please respect copyright.PENANAAoZfslOZyN
「冴那孩子不會說喜歡妳,不會說想妳,也不會主動牽手⋯⋯但每次妳跌倒了,都是他站在妳後面,手放在妳背上,等妳自己站起來——從小就是這樣呢。」54Please respect copyright.PENANANd0RVKavjC
54Please respect copyright.PENANAKgApk6bETH
星野莉奈很安靜,雙手卻把曲起的雙膝抱得更緊。54Please respect copyright.PENANAMka0mMJzwH
媽媽靜靜看了她一會兒,然後緩緩地站起來,走到她身邊。54Please respect copyright.PENANA2gRgMF6XIg
54Please respect copyright.PENANAFtxl9LD3CR
什麼都沒說,只是坐下,輕輕把她摟進懷裡。54Please respect copyright.PENANA4C3vNz3QhJ
54Please respect copyright.PENANAnKzeULRLFY
沒有太用力,也沒有多餘的語言。54Please respect copyright.PENANAUkFxszu73T
只是這麼靜靜地,把她抱住。54Please respect copyright.PENANAgiufQbqg2j
54Please respect copyright.PENANAflyfUgnxXc
一開始星野莉奈還僵著,像是不太習慣。54Please respect copyright.PENANARdyQuohyEa
但很快,她慢慢地,把額頭靠進媽媽的肩膀。像終於找到可以喘氣的地方。54Please respect copyright.PENANAhJz2J8Bhks
54Please respect copyright.PENANAwdruBwew8e
媽媽一隻手輕輕拍著她的背,低低地說:54Please respect copyright.PENANAdLtTbMarVV
54Please respect copyright.PENANA4yg7cNWeql
「辛苦了,寶貝。真的很辛苦了。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAUSDeFyFMGO
54Please respect copyright.PENANAZKdwBbukQU
星野莉奈緊緊閉著眼,眼淚無聲地滑下來。54Please respect copyright.PENANAhpE021nGy9
54Please respect copyright.PENANAbaDAQiO8BR
媽媽輕輕拍著星野莉奈的背,過了一會兒,輕聲笑了:54Please respect copyright.PENANA3sxVUG7GkU
54Please respect copyright.PENANAoKKOpbdqIs
「媽媽啊,年輕的時候也有過喔。」54Please respect copyright.PENANA9nnCCIsP5e
54Please respect copyright.PENANAr2LdfE4v9o
星野莉奈動了動,沒有抬頭,但她聽見了。媽媽的手一邊順著她的背,一邊慢慢地說:54Please respect copyright.PENANAj9HYFXjEqi
54Please respect copyright.PENANApTUnOG6yF8
「那時候,我還是新人模特兒,剛開始走紅。接了很多廣告,也拍了人生第一本寫真集。那本是跟一位很有名的攝影師合作的,風格偏紀實、比較像是在記錄那時候的我,沒有太多妝、也沒有太多設計——只是陽光、素顏,還有一些比較生活感的場景。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAYeCwuouBrX
54Please respect copyright.PENANADUHnMOYq3A
她頓了一下,像在回想那段時間的味道。54Please respect copyright.PENANAL3hDHzXvSQ
54Please respect copyright.PENANAJttIPMujq4
「但外界的聲音很難聽。什麼天生好命啦、靠人脈啦、會炒作啦⋯⋯說得好像我所有的努力都不是我自己的一樣。那時我也年輕,不太會反駁,只能一直拍、一直撐,讓自己撐到那些聲音沒辦法再把我抹掉。」54Please respect copyright.PENANA17EdPEkVLl
54Please respect copyright.PENANAdXbcavfcOU
她笑了笑,語氣帶著一點無奈,又有點溫柔:54Please respect copyright.PENANAoyPAoyJUV2
54Please respect copyright.PENANAS9duFNsKFD
「那時候啊,唯一相信我、支持我的,就是妳爸爸。他還只是個小小的攝影助理,沒什麼話語權——但每次拍照,他都特別認真幫我找角度、打光,什麼都不多說,卻用行動讓我知道,我不是一個人在對抗這個世界。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAxZ1HyG2awK
54Please respect copyright.PENANABfqKtrw0Qs
媽媽低頭親了親星野莉奈的髮頂,聲音低低地,像是把一個秘密輕輕放進她耳朵裡:54Please respect copyright.PENANAuJhDFKuBCr
54Please respect copyright.PENANADuL9V1UyV4
「所以啊,妳現在這樣難過,是很正常的。不是妳做錯了什麼,也不是妳不夠好。是這個世界,有時候就是這麼吵、這麼粗糙。」54Please respect copyright.PENANApmdc1CwLsX
54Please respect copyright.PENANAH0vXklVSWt
她停頓了一下,又笑了笑,語氣變得更溫柔:54Please respect copyright.PENANAQB9XahINAJ
54Please respect copyright.PENANAubKSEPhHpv
「我一直都知道,妳活得很自主,走路很穩,不太需要別人扶——也一直以為,給妳空間、讓妳自由,就是對妳最好的支持。」54Please respect copyright.PENANADCpNrSvO23
54Please respect copyright.PENANAzTzWEJ283q
媽媽輕輕收緊了擁抱,語氣像嘆息又像自問自答:54Please respect copyright.PENANA1t043ONSRI
54Please respect copyright.PENANAOO6hb6R5W6
「但是啊⋯⋯就算是最會走路的小孩,有時候也會想被抱一下吧。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAygy3WBs0xI
54Please respect copyright.PENANAkpnrRPX7Ln
星野莉奈緊緊咬著唇,肩膀又顫了一下。媽媽輕輕拍拍她的背,接著說:54Please respect copyright.PENANAL2nmIWEqqu
54Please respect copyright.PENANAPSddtb2zeo
「鈴也是啊。那孩子,特別有正義感。她知道妳不想被誤會、不想傷害任何人,所以她什麼都想擋在自己前面——讓妳可以專心做妳自己。」54Please respect copyright.PENANA1XZUxNwHpd
54Please respect copyright.PENANAlM4jr7A67Y
媽媽的呼吸很輕,輕到不帶任何情緒:54Please respect copyright.PENANABwqHtlPjZh
54Please respect copyright.PENANAIaw3blpab0
「而小冴呢⋯⋯很早就決定好怎麼走他的人生了。妳不能拉住他,但妳可以在他停下來的時候,剛好在那裡⋯⋯他不是會說出『我需要妳』的那種人,但那不代表他不需要。」54Please respect copyright.PENANATkD9DZoz8Y
54Please respect copyright.PENANA26okLvknQf
星野莉奈伸手輕輕抓住媽媽的衣角。媽媽溫柔而堅定地說:54Please respect copyright.PENANAfHFXUXngX1
54Please respect copyright.PENANAkITBGg8v8S
「妳啊,真的做得很好了。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAV4O3adM41v
54Please respect copyright.PENANAouR5G67QRe
媽媽低笑了一下,帶著一點調皮的寵溺:54Please respect copyright.PENANAKROSH9XV5m
54Please respect copyright.PENANA5Gmp5mFQbx
「誰叫咱們家女兒眼光這麼好,偏偏喜歡上那麼獨立、又不太會說話的小傻瓜呢?」54Please respect copyright.PENANAhEUO55WWae
54Please respect copyright.PENANAB400zLRhu1
她閉著眼,眼淚靜靜地,不斷滑下來。54Please respect copyright.PENANAIZEu7foD1S
沒有聲音,也沒有顫抖。54Please respect copyright.PENANAr8cRG6IXIc
54Please respect copyright.PENANAxqj9dUknPq
只有胸口,微微一下一下地疼著。54Please respect copyright.PENANADU1ONkUiWl
54Please respect copyright.PENANA6lydOKP7G0
她忽然想起自己曾經無數次,54Please respect copyright.PENANAgnrM2NLoiy
在球場邊,在便利商店,在一個又一個不經意的黃昏裡,54Please respect copyright.PENANAINO6QCsaqP
悄悄地等過那個人。54Please respect copyright.PENANAArX3AKdHOh
54Please respect copyright.PENANAFA5LZjbdCk
等他的訊息。54Please respect copyright.PENANAg3RxhqgYTp
等他的目光。54Please respect copyright.PENANANLF5Z26BFc
等一個不一定會到來的回應。54Please respect copyright.PENANARzQQNiyNhq
54Please respect copyright.PENANA1eXzJukxpn
不是為了要證明什麼,54Please respect copyright.PENANA7ibMZh4fBp
只是因為——54Please respect copyright.PENANAjaGWL1TzZj
她真的很在意他。54Please respect copyright.PENANAKFdvwqNyJL
54Please respect copyright.PENANA5p3psiZAgJ
那時候,她總是告訴自己:54Please respect copyright.PENANAszxT9kjKYZ
54Please respect copyright.PENANAHgeFQOOoD7
「沒關係的,我可以等。」54Please respect copyright.PENANAlbGtKMcG2m
54Please respect copyright.PENANAAldtTFLJWj
直到今天,她才第一次承認,54Please respect copyright.PENANAOD6QBcgaRy
原來那些輕描淡寫的等,54Please respect copyright.PENANAhw0MVFJ94J
從來都不是輕的。54Please respect copyright.PENANAlUYLSYqfGp
54Please respect copyright.PENANAdVYolzu3FO
媽媽的手掌還在輕輕地拍著她的背。沒有催促,也沒有要求她快點振作。54Please respect copyright.PENANAiLp4yzKDgv
只是一遍又一遍,溫柔地拍著她的背。54Please respect copyright.PENANA2ayovCcw5D
54Please respect copyright.PENANA4FIHONcma0
外面的風聲輕輕吹過,屋子裡只剩下心跳的聲音,和媽媽溫暖而堅定的擁抱。
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