記者會結束後,星野莉奈抱著外套,低著頭,穿過人群,快速地往出口走去。137Please respect copyright.PENANAI6mrBEJOyY
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她只想趕快離開。137Please respect copyright.PENANAO6Y3i3fP0I
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在她身後,每個人的腳步聲都像快門聲,門在她身後「碰」地闔上。人群散開,燈光熄滅,行程與通訊聲響此起彼落,經紀人們忙著安排行程、聯絡車輛。137Please respect copyright.PENANAB9a9tcwQ8l
137Please respect copyright.PENANATi4PJgaqZq
糸師冴推開門,走到連接後台休息室的迴廊上。137Please respect copyright.PENANATfPsxu5fp2
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「小冴、這邊——」137Please respect copyright.PENANAkbXRAKuhEx
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吉羅蘭·塔巴蒂開口叫住他,但糸師冴的眼神並沒有停留在他上。137Please respect copyright.PENANAuzio3AN8PL
137Please respect copyright.PENANAMjDyHvVVPY
「小冴、我們要趕快回去了——」吉羅蘭·塔巴蒂有點委屈地跟上糸師冴的步伐。137Please respect copyright.PENANAbEjdfeAnV4
137Please respect copyright.PENANAIPI7JSXMrS
「吉羅蘭·塔巴蒂先生。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAfsogmpi81W
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一道清冷卻不失禮貌的聲音突然響起,小川鈴伸手擋住他的去路。137Please respect copyright.PENANAEYSmYePfZS
137Please respect copyright.PENANAx5B8eeD3Xd
「⋯⋯請給他們一些空間吧。」她的語氣溫和,眼神卻帶著篤定,好似早就知道會有這一刻。137Please respect copyright.PENANAe8fAOBmdjG
137Please respect copyright.PENANApZVUmQvRtQ
「⋯⋯欸?」吉羅蘭·塔巴蒂眉頭開展,對這個要求感到不可置信。137Please respect copyright.PENANALo9orfv9T0
137Please respect copyright.PENANAchf0fuSP4O
經過的糸師冴只看了小川鈴一眼,沒有多問,轉身快步追了過去。137Please respect copyright.PENANAUVKB97uxHe
137Please respect copyright.PENANASrKGsMqno5
剛才吉羅蘭·塔巴蒂到底是刻意攔下她、還是單純反應太慢,無從得知。但現在,小川鈴很確定——這位經紀人需要被擋一下。137Please respect copyright.PENANAFFRTcfIW95
137Please respect copyright.PENANACpW328YmSx
她側過身,視線緊隨那道背影,語氣輕:137Please respect copyright.PENANA6CmzwIxEze
137Please respect copyright.PENANAGIDnO9iS7R
「——他們需要。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAwgBHdAIjx6
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***137Please respect copyright.PENANAZDmyuy0WUK
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星野莉奈低著頭,穿過走廊,心跳亂得像要炸開。137Please respect copyright.PENANAjPiyFCYbfp
137Please respect copyright.PENANAOukVNNZmJn
手心全是汗。胸口還在劇烈起伏,像跑完一場長距離,心臟用力撞著肋骨,每一下都在提醒她——剛才不是夢。137Please respect copyright.PENANABtMiTKIVNe
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——我們⋯⋯一直都在一起。137Please respect copyright.PENANATuwqaU0SsF
137Please respect copyright.PENANAVweGtJOzWt
她聽見自己的聲音在腦子裡反覆播放,乾澀、顫抖,卻清晰到每一個音節都宛如刻痕。137Please respect copyright.PENANAX912Tr9xJp
137Please respect copyright.PENANAKsYMRT1kx4
那不是稿子裡的答案,不是小川姐教過的說法,不是任何人給過她的標準格式。137Please respect copyright.PENANAwvZfuDvidp
那是她自己說出來的話——卻也是一把剪刀,把她精心維持的秩序,剪開了一個無法縫回去的口子。137Please respect copyright.PENANAY8qtGfz9Se
137Please respect copyright.PENANAARmiHcTmJ8
——會不會毀掉合作?137Please respect copyright.PENANAsMteH5JQJd
——有沒有人信?137Please respect copyright.PENANAkYhxHZu13t
——品牌會怎麼處理?137Please respect copyright.PENANA0mtjI4ybj0
137Please respect copyright.PENANA6SWUxJtYqk
她不知道飯店門外還有多少記者在喊,多少攝影機在追,或者網路上已經燒成什麼樣子。她甚至不確定自己此刻應該先擔心品牌,還是先擔心自己——137Please respect copyright.PENANA3Jcs5PSYjs
137Please respect copyright.PENANAB9pcQnajB0
還是,先擔心那個站在鎂光燈下、完全不按牌理出牌的人。137Please respect copyright.PENANAhZgCZIi0RF
137Please respect copyright.PENANAq6s7mC30Tx
——他是不是因為小川姐擋不住才衝出來?137Please respect copyright.PENANASwnjU4RemT
——他到底為什麼這麼做?137Please respect copyright.PENANAwmnIuXYaiS
——她⋯⋯是不是被他牽著走?137Please respect copyright.PENANAOZEVGHzRwR
137Please respect copyright.PENANA24cbcYLsgg
那個人今天替她擋下所有問題,卻也把全世界的風暴拉進來,讓她成為風暴中心。她明明該生氣,該質問他為什麼這樣做,可腦子裡卻只有一個荒唐的念頭——137Please respect copyright.PENANAwCEFNHZ2ov
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幸好他來了。137Please respect copyright.PENANArNWUzi6JOt
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她明明該對糸師冴擅自出場發言而生氣——卻因為他擋在風口浪尖,心裡出現矛盾的安全感。137Please respect copyright.PENANApnee6iN3lD
137Please respect copyright.PENANAEM4Tp6M8VS
他今天替她撕碎所有人的預想、破壞所有被安排被規劃的方向,讓她現在對未來一無所知,陷入前所未有的失序感。但同時,第一次覺得自己的回答不是公司給的、不是別人寫的,是屬於她自己的語言——反而讓她更難割捨,那份始終沒被清除乾淨的感情。137Please respect copyright.PENANAWouqggGku3
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可是,不行。這樣她是誰的女友總是會大於「星野莉奈」——他們的關係,也不會因此改變。137Please respect copyright.PENANAJXDYnS0y5r
137Please respect copyright.PENANALESZCR5CnO
她早就知道了,從十二歲就知道;從十三歲糸師冴拿到RE·AL的邀請函就知道;從糸師冴是為了藍色監獄才留下就知道;一次又一次——她早就知道了,糸師冴不會為她停下。137Please respect copyright.PENANAfYL71jM5Ky
137Please respect copyright.PENANA7bH38Rdg2B
她狠狠吸了一口氣,手指顫了一下。星野莉奈套起外套,緊緊抓住自己,繼續向前走,她下意識地搜尋小川鈴的身影。想要有人來叫住她,給她一個可以轉身離開的理由。137Please respect copyright.PENANAzJXq0onKcl
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但沒有。137Please respect copyright.PENANArX7wyPzyIy
小川鈴沒有過來。137Please respect copyright.PENANApubal5MEAW
137Please respect copyright.PENANAqAd3RA6uej
世界突然變得很大,很空。137Please respect copyright.PENANA0Sav4LXf0u
137Please respect copyright.PENANA4mhWYXEynp
她的手指掐緊了外套,呼吸開始發緊。137Please respect copyright.PENANAz01Lovchhm
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她該怎麼辦?她現在能做什麼?她可以去哪裡?誰可以來幫她?137Please respect copyright.PENANA3smDMwy6nJ
137Please respect copyright.PENANAdeOMQXvdZl
下一秒,腳步聲從背後迅速逼近,踩進這片空白。137Please respect copyright.PENANATCQcoZaDqu
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「莉奈。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAhapiHlsFPM
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那個聲音低啞而直接,如同一支無聲的箭,一下子扎進她心臟深處。137Please respect copyright.PENANAFxK4TWZ7v6
137Please respect copyright.PENANAejQKo9sZt1
——她真的無處可逃了。137Please respect copyright.PENANAMf6qweThUL
137Please respect copyright.PENANAh2kveSXtFY
星野莉奈咬著牙,硬撐著說:137Please respect copyright.PENANA8sbqAebrkc
137Please respect copyright.PENANADQJqWFAVKd
「沒事。你去忙你的就好。謝謝你剛剛⋯⋯我可以配合。你要怎麼說都可以。真的。我不會拖你下水。我不會⋯⋯不會影響你,你的行程、比賽,我都——我都能配合。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAmfccrklf3y
137Please respect copyright.PENANA6lVSYu6qbM
聲音輕得像碰一下就會碎。137Please respect copyright.PENANAz1eT6bCBZT
137Please respect copyright.PENANA8ESKxRVS1B
「妳還在生氣?」137Please respect copyright.PENANAkJz2fObAdd
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腳步聲停在她背後不遠,聲音低得幾乎貼著空氣,逼得她呼吸一緊。星野莉奈整個人頓在原地,脊背僵直,指尖死死掐著外套布料,聲音像從嗓子深處擠出來:137Please respect copyright.PENANAL598hL9mzF
137Please respect copyright.PENANAalP5b2r3xI
「我為什麼要生氣⋯⋯」137Please respect copyright.PENANA1olVDR0gT6
137Please respect copyright.PENANAH4zrTRDOqh
「三個多月。妳一句話都沒說。」糸師冴的聲音在身後響起,跟平常一樣沒有情緒起伏:「不是生氣,是什麼?」137Please respect copyright.PENANAY2jtKmUnDB
137Please respect copyright.PENANAoReVvb6exF
「我一句話也沒說?」星野莉奈努力穩住聲線,「——你自己不也一樣?」137Please respect copyright.PENANAXU4nsZyJZm
137Please respect copyright.PENANAa8VRJeH5XS
「因為妳沒來看U-20。」糸師冴的話簡短到,讓星野莉奈有種突兀的荒謬感。137Please respect copyright.PENANAdBw44a4KNf
137Please respect copyright.PENANAX13fZXNTkC
「票都寄給妳了——妳為什麼不來?」137Please respect copyright.PENANAzUj7vDPaNr
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星野莉奈緩緩轉過頭,表情震驚又困惑,有幾分傻眼,連眼角都忘記紅了。137Please respect copyright.PENANA91clPhf42h
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意思是⋯⋯這三個月,其實是糸師冴在生氣?137Please respect copyright.PENANAsVHS5nKaHy
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「我有去。」星野莉奈慢慢轉身,正對著糸師冴,神情像在直面一個根本不知道題目的謎:137Please respect copyright.PENANAUpDdqAv6We
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「貴賓票我沒用,因為我不想被拍到。所以是我自己買票進去的。」137Please respect copyright.PENANA0HE7wrrsUp
137Please respect copyright.PENANA7Ecd9tymLu
「那妳為什麼不說?」137Please respect copyright.PENANASeSd4ypdii
137Please respect copyright.PENANAIVL0AQ28Rl
她嘴巴開了,卻一股氣哽在喉嚨——所以這段時間,是他在等她解釋?137Please respect copyright.PENANA6h2ih3PpjO
她不知道現在她到底該先生氣,還是先笑出來?137Please respect copyright.PENANAdzAQjuwzXD
137Please respect copyright.PENANACLdWf5jInK
糸師冴當然沒有用什麼生氣的口吻,連抬高語氣都沒有,甚至語調平到近乎無波。可就是會讓人覺得——被他狠狠地兇了一句。137Please respect copyright.PENANAjNwjKDFV1h
137Please respect copyright.PENANAaj1qIFCyDV
「我去不去,有什麼關係嗎?」星野莉奈回答,態度跟糸師冴一樣強勢。137Please respect copyright.PENANAaBvFSB73tR
137Please respect copyright.PENANAoZBeoeVqL6
「沒關係啊。」他毫不在意地說:「就當那張貴賓票丟進水溝就好。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAToTXlfHlMV
137Please respect copyright.PENANAKwydkWMDVW
「那你問什麼問——」137Please respect copyright.PENANA12vMBF74Re
137Please respect copyright.PENANA6CGMoi3jfp
「——因為我想要妳來看啊。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAbnuRJ0Hot1
137Please respect copyright.PENANAlIV5I7Xq10
「那你自己為什麼不說?」137Please respect copyright.PENANACphjz0vpLa
137Please respect copyright.PENANAK9Hm7KVdCM
「妳每次都會來啊。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAUcr74vGLdv
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現在是怎樣?變成是她的錯了?他們這麼久沒聯絡,一見面就要吵架?而且憑什麼——是誰說她太喜歡他?是誰說這段關係像工作?是誰先說不需要?到底憑什麼到現在還在怪她?還敢指責她不傳訊息——到底都是誰先開始的?137Please respect copyright.PENANAbDdvvpmMxy
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「你現在要吵架是不是?」137Please respect copyright.PENANAjEZp50tYj4
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「——沒有。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAVITUg6qsg3
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他們兩個目視對方,誰也沒退開一步。137Please respect copyright.PENANAx1zOI4TWMC
空氣悶得隨時會爆,繃在兩人之間,沒有聲音,也沒有退路。137Please respect copyright.PENANAvSVZHBXn7v
137Please respect copyright.PENANAkHTtHxrTAG
「你就沒想過,這三個月——是我想跟你分手嗎?」137Please respect copyright.PENANA2oVN6egVNb
137Please respect copyright.PENANAPLmjZe2H2t
星野莉奈終於忍不住,率先開口,口氣很差。137Please respect copyright.PENANA0jfQrmJ2dM
137Please respect copyright.PENANAakqKk9EZYE
她早就想好了,如果他們的狀態始終沒有改變,那就到此為止——直到這場風波,催化了那個「到此為止」的終點。137Please respect copyright.PENANAIJ4Dm7ai2i
137Please respect copyright.PENANAA8CRX99a8m
糸師冴整個人停住,連平常那種不刻意就自帶的氣場也消失了一瞬,不過很快就恢復。神色永遠自若的他,也就眉頭皺了一下,臉色其實沒有太多波瀾,表情冷靜到在說一個根本不可能錯的答案:137Please respect copyright.PENANADWlzBzCDe8
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「妳那麼喜歡我,怎麼可能跟我分手。」137Please respect copyright.PENANASNmWyuWEPE
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——太突兀,太荒唐了。137Please respect copyright.PENANA1Si4Q7j33T
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這兩個詞其實非常不適合用來形容糸師冴,但星野莉奈現在就是這麼感覺。137Please respect copyright.PENANA7aYkhjMmxb
137Please respect copyright.PENANAFJ2AJM72G2
糸師冴那張理所當然的臉,天經地義到沒有其他選項,口氣篤定到連去想像這個可能性都沒有——星野莉奈不知道自己是不知所措還是不可置信比較多?根本不知道到底該先罵他,還是先放棄他⋯⋯137Please respect copyright.PENANAJRhuXVaL90
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糸師冴——真的太荒唐了。137Please respect copyright.PENANA31ScwtEq1K
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「反正我不同意。」他補上一句。137Please respect copyright.PENANAhV6gLSVceb
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「你問過我同不同意嗎?」她也回一句。137Please respect copyright.PENANAHaNkLHJ5p1
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「我十二歲就這樣選擇了。妳沒道理不是。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAGZ4uNnTa9i
137Please respect copyright.PENANA0CKoD7CpqH
「——最沒道理的人是你!」137Please respect copyright.PENANA1rKEfK80nD
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星野莉奈終於忍不住大吼。137Please respect copyright.PENANAvPwMSLcoAm
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「是你説我太過喜歡你、你說我把自己弄得像機器——可是像台冷冰冰機器的人明明就是你!我說話你不答、我傳訊息你不回、我替你接續後面的沈默,你也一副無關緊要的樣子!我在不在球場,你也可以很好!你的全部都跟我一點關係也沒有!是你讓我這樣覺得的!」137Please respect copyright.PENANAgFyTHNIxnk
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眼眶突然濕了,但星野莉奈不管了。137Please respect copyright.PENANA2f6XEuDiCC
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「我一直都在努力維繫、拼命解讀,永遠得不到一句回應,最後還要被你一句『是我太喜歡你』否決所有努力?」137Please respect copyright.PENANAJqdr8rexhJ
137Please respect copyright.PENANA2gjRGkGJ37
斗大的淚珠一滴滴往下掉,她沒有擦掉,也沒有眨眼,任憑水珠自個兒下墜。137Please respect copyright.PENANAUi2bPErvdD
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「對,我是很喜歡你沒錯。」137Please respect copyright.PENANANbMXBHsOdz
137Please respect copyright.PENANAKhWHqcWxJl
她邊哭邊說,努力讓自己的話語不被情緒淹沒。即便如此,叫到他的名字時,語氣還是軟了一點:137Please respect copyright.PENANA7i1sk6zSga
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「但冴,你根本不明白什麼叫喜歡一個人。你永遠都那麼精準,連感情都像答案。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAXQ8vrNpjhx
137Please respect copyright.PENANAtWJaX2WEyn
「現在我好不容易做決定了⋯⋯」星野莉奈一手指著剛才記者會的現場,「——你卻跑來攪局?」137Please respect copyright.PENANA6lYKvCmdNt
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她吞了一口,似乎想把原本想說的咽下肚,但這次,她要把全部都說出口,不再管是否會傷到人:137Please respect copyright.PENANAQxoR6BQ4hO
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「你現在出現是什麼意思?因為小凜被扯進來了?因為網路炸了?還是——突然覺得內疚了?」137Please respect copyright.PENANA5rCGu61sbi
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她說完,整個人被掏空了一樣,只剩下喘息和眼淚。137Please respect copyright.PENANAGcPY4hPQVu
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「你給我聽好——我不需要你覺得內疚、更不需要你突然回頭想彌補什麼!」137Please respect copyright.PENANANrLUdwykdn
137Please respect copyright.PENANATzp42xrVby
她要的從來都不是誰來「還債」或「補償」她的努力。她要的是對等的情感投入,不是事件驅動的補救行為、不是因為「理性判斷」之後得出最佳解的行為。137Please respect copyright.PENANAmIHJGTJxOq
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偏偏,他的行動總都是後面兩者。137Please respect copyright.PENANAgo0yReEyiE
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場面一度死寂。她的世界炸成碎片,他卻冷靜得像根本沒參與這場故事。137Please respect copyright.PENANAKsqpHmicMQ
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過了一陣子,等星野莉奈的呼吸相對平緩一些後,糸師冴才慢慢開口:137Please respect copyright.PENANAAxP2YdJLbE
137Please respect copyright.PENANAHjEGvPSKa1
「我不是因為內疚,也不是想補償。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAhM9S2F0HlO
137Please respect copyright.PENANACisHqAu6Oh
他的語氣平靜而清晰,語尾壓得很重,在說一個早就確定好的答案。137Please respect copyright.PENANAulNUeXcN6W
137Please respect copyright.PENANASDHVb6Xg8v
「我只是選擇妳。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAaFlGi82wMo
137Please respect copyright.PENANAsbbnklY8WJ
糸師冴向前走了幾步,站到星野莉奈面前。137Please respect copyright.PENANA4YabSXSLNi
137Please respect copyright.PENANAgWV9qGqFUz
「我活著的方式沒變過。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAAus9o41XrG
137Please respect copyright.PENANAuvz6uxTtj5
他早早定義了關係。把感情當成選擇題,十二歲就勾好答案,並以為這是一個永遠不變的選項,不需要更新、不需要再確認。137Please respect copyright.PENANAjh3sPrh3Jf
137Please respect copyright.PENANAkq62u3cjav
以為,從此不需要再問對方一次。137Please respect copyright.PENANAo1SF2ZkRTU
137Please respect copyright.PENANATqUMjPaddR
「我以為妳知道。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAVNhrYEAosx
137Please respect copyright.PENANA97PBCn6LvH
星野莉奈低著頭,淚流滿面。137Please respect copyright.PENANAkGBLtAxLSU
137Please respect copyright.PENANAap7lDwzlZa
「⋯⋯我不知道,你又沒說過!我怎麼會知道?」她的聲音裡滿是委屈跟憤怒。137Please respect copyright.PENANABFjmwUQvpB
137Please respect copyright.PENANA2gbHKFFF0v
「那現在我說了,妳知道了吧?」糸師冴沒有任何不耐,低聲回應。137Please respect copyright.PENANAqeVpL4qMum
137Please respect copyright.PENANA0HckqlK2Hd
她吸了吸鼻子,沒看他,也沒躲開。137Please respect copyright.PENANANILLiek6Wb
137Please respect copyright.PENANAy3mgSxbakv
「那天晚上,在妳家門口說的話⋯⋯我知道妳受傷了。所以妳才一直生氣不說話。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAOIEemhz7Gu
137Please respect copyright.PENANAaDbuljuTEZ
糸師冴微微偏頭,停了一下,視線斜睨在地板上:137Please respect copyright.PENANAiJXYPE9YBu
137Please respect copyright.PENANANGB3V3ZaWD
「反正⋯⋯以後不講了。」137Please respect copyright.PENANA2FlEDXVWh5
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他說完這句後就安靜了,沒有逼問、也沒有靠得更近。137Please respect copyright.PENANAhdNp6EU5Yu
137Please respect copyright.PENANACFrVMEs6E2
星野莉奈吸了一口氣,胸口還是很緊,呼吸還是不順。糸師冴不太知道該怎麼辦,只能低著眼站在原地,等她。137Please respect copyright.PENANAFtxEGsabiW
137Please respect copyright.PENANAoex0fCCWQC
「——不準!」137Please respect copyright.PENANAiroWpsdPRA
137Please respect copyright.PENANAcDG7xQe87B
星野莉奈突然大喊,聲音不再顫抖,糸師冴愣著抬眼。137Please respect copyright.PENANAY344ELsfBv
137Please respect copyright.PENANA6XkO0fYJph
「以後你都要像今天一樣!不管是在記者面前,還是現在在我面前——」星野莉奈抬起頭,直直對上糸師冴的雙眼。137Please respect copyright.PENANAdbJRTdABZB
137Please respect copyright.PENANAzW9iTBRnbo
「——你都要把話講清楚!」137Please respect copyright.PENANAZv1zkP1RlF
137Please respect copyright.PENANAtmPEjufF1v
「⋯⋯我說了妳會哭,這樣妳每次都要哭。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAPz9dNks3x0
137Please respect copyright.PENANAaIuxcZ2ZWj
「不管、哭就哭了,你就是要把話講完!」星野莉奈臉上還有淚痕,「要是我真的生氣難過了,你要來哄我!」137Please respect copyright.PENANAEdKkFn5tMy
137Please respect copyright.PENANA1weeRR1iRP
「不累嗎⋯⋯就說妳老是連受傷都準備好了。講了妳還要生氣?」137Please respect copyright.PENANAKN8cLR3IAr
137Please respect copyright.PENANA7fUxoJuW38
「你什麼都不說我才覺得累!」星野莉奈接近哭喊,衝著糸師冴說,「我就是氣死了,你也要說出來!」137Please respect copyright.PENANA4t4vqdPQeW
137Please respect copyright.PENANApfMic8FySP
——為什麼要這樣自討苦吃?這是糸師冴心裡冒出的念頭。但他看著她一臉淚痕、一臉要吵架又要撒嬌的樣子⋯⋯他還是只能認命地點了點頭。137Please respect copyright.PENANASar8FHVjuJ
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「我不怕你說話討厭,反正你講話一直都不好聽——」137Please respect copyright.PENANA7i0cQTVUeD
137Please respect copyright.PENANArCzGQ4Ol9F
她沒等他回,自己說下去。137Please respect copyright.PENANA6CT6a9ZjDU
137Please respect copyright.PENANAYxrG2h5YNS
「——我就怕有一天,你突然不選我了。」137Please respect copyright.PENANA20ak26dFqL
137Please respect copyright.PENANABEh2PhstXJ
語氣裡沒有質問,沒有怒氣,是單純地陳述,說出一個埋藏太久的設定。137Please respect copyright.PENANAbaJt9M24Nk
137Please respect copyright.PENANA3B4agICN9i
「你從來不用講的,你都只『做』,從來沒有說。然後你做的事都很大,很不像是會變的——可是你自己U-20也沒叫我『別遲到』!」137Please respect copyright.PENANAqfeXNIvPYx
137Please respect copyright.PENANAtGSPgO3PYW
她的淚珠還在滴,手還在發抖,但聲音沒有再斷。137Please respect copyright.PENANAJUQ477rCvv
137Please respect copyright.PENANApOz6iRZVsH
「那些都是你會做的。一直都會⋯⋯所以我一直以為——如果有一天你不做了,就是你不選我了。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAgX42MiURPc
137Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4y5JdCLNU
糸師冴站在她面前,低著頭,看她哭得亂七八糟,講的話卻一個比一個還清楚——他知道,每個字都是從她心裡逼出來的,沒有一個是無的放矢。137Please respect copyright.PENANAq37g8qx8PO
137Please respect copyright.PENANAAuAXb8eHEj
「⋯⋯笨蛋。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAKabns7c8af
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他伸出手,很自然地擦掉她臉上的一滴眼淚,動作不是那種細膩柔軟的安撫,是那種:「妳哭到看不清東西又要哭更久」的理解。137Please respect copyright.PENANAHza8aomBZ3
137Please respect copyright.PENANArfQdeFl46H
「妳哭得很醜。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAtzsT0ed6n1
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她的臉跟淚,都很燙。他語氣仍然沒什麼起伏,卻沒有要收手的意思。137Please respect copyright.PENANAObQAxtSYlk
137Please respect copyright.PENANAepblqegxdo
「——然後不可以在我哭的時候,說我哭起來很醜!」137Please respect copyright.PENANAqk8qWk19UA
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⋯⋯不是說都要說出來嗎。137Please respect copyright.PENANAcKuzQFCPyr
糸師冴歪了下頭,一臉生無可戀,又默默接受。手還停在她臉頰旁,沒注意到自己沒收手。137Please respect copyright.PENANASg1BOLrjWF
137Please respect copyright.PENANAPmsnwi6tne
「還有,我傳訊息你也要回我,再久都要!不能只是『已讀』!不然我都以為我在自言自語——就算只是一個貼圖也好!」137Please respect copyright.PENANAjodjD2z3Db
137Please respect copyright.PENANA4yZGMpdtCj
「⋯⋯差別在哪?」137Please respect copyright.PENANARUg6qZA723
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在他看來,已讀或貼圖,只是兩種不同的傳送狀態,達到的效果是一樣的。糸師冴沒懂,既然效果一樣,為什麼還要多一個步驟?137Please respect copyright.PENANAIJ4YFP7Qgk
137Please respect copyright.PENANAOUta0AQ2Ad
「——不一樣!不一樣就是不一樣!」137Please respect copyright.PENANAkCqgDagefZ
137Please respect copyright.PENANAIbopvjhFPI
「⋯⋯好。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAGtk3mfSYCc
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算了,莉奈說不一樣就不一樣。137Please respect copyright.PENANAVfJpXZQseu
整個走廊都是她鼻音很重的呼吸聲,他伸手再次把她額角的眼淚抹掉。137Please respect copyright.PENANAGxd8vFqOYq
137Please respect copyright.PENANA0GQinuBaS1
「別哭了。再哭下去,眼睛又要腫起來了。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAQI77PtCHH1
137Please respect copyright.PENANA6zi0laCiCY
想起十三歲那年,拿到RE·AL的邀請函,出發去西班牙的前一天,莉奈也是這樣哭。137Please respect copyright.PENANAnGIAR6EDVy
137Please respect copyright.PENANAgXzQ1ehtkh
「⋯⋯不要再哭了。」137Please respect copyright.PENANA175rO2EXYX
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他說,再哭下去他都不知道該怎麼辦了。137Please respect copyright.PENANADWXRKn6LP0
137Please respect copyright.PENANA0mDtKAl8ds
「現在讓我哭就好了!」137Please respect copyright.PENANApe8YW0gxBx
137Please respect copyright.PENANALMKJRHL3Wy
糸師冴無奈地垂了垂肩——剛才說哭了要哄,現在又説讓她哭就好⋯⋯只能繼續安靜幫她擦掉臉上的眼淚。137Please respect copyright.PENANAf7LmkDRmbu
137Please respect copyright.PENANAu5vLRZfjjr
「還有一件事。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAlcfdi8yB3S
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星野莉奈悶悶地說。137Please respect copyright.PENANAWTdRp7TLhQ
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「什麼事?」糸師冴的手還停在她的臉旁。137Please respect copyright.PENANACuQFN1DokD
137Please respect copyright.PENANAhSLjfNSfff
「就是我明明已經不理你半年了⋯⋯」星野莉奈瞇起紅腫的眼,看起來很像在生氣的加菲貓,「——你都沒發現嗎?」137Please respect copyright.PENANACuU3sfYDP1
137Please respect copyright.PENANAo4KD4Jri3l
她刻意忘記了他的生日、把他們曾經生活的貼文刪除、不主動告訴他自己的行蹤⋯⋯137Please respect copyright.PENANATLhrqTJF9v
137Please respect copyright.PENANA09hCb6sush
糸師冴沒急著回答,讓手指在她臉頰上又多停了一會兒。在微妙的停滯後,才低聲開口:137Please respect copyright.PENANA9tAbqTLdZ4
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「⋯⋯我有發現。」137Please respect copyright.PENANACY6SFhkEHr
137Please respect copyright.PENANA0YADsjYN9g
他不是沒看見。那些她刪掉的東西、掩飾的行蹤、連生日都假裝忘記的那天——他全都知道。只是不知道怎麼開口,不知道該怎麼讓這些「試圖擦掉他」的舉動,不變成更折磨的對話。137Please respect copyright.PENANA7hdKtSYzCr
137Please respect copyright.PENANANrDBlSs60Z
糸師冴語氣跟平常一樣平靜。卻比任何多餘的解釋,都更讓人心口發酸。137Please respect copyright.PENANANjQkbljpNt
137Please respect copyright.PENANAlHdif2LYGN
她停了一下才說:「⋯⋯你沒擔心過?」137Please respect copyright.PENANApvdMNYbsKW
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「妳又不是依靠我過活。」他淡淡地說,一如既往地實際,卻平得讓人心口發緊。137Please respect copyright.PENANAKRuEbrSFpR
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星野莉奈又愣了一下,眼淚更兇地往下掉:「——可是我就想要你擔心啊!」137Please respect copyright.PENANADFJEAYuwjb
137Please respect copyright.PENANApMdbsYEtQ4
糸師冴啞口無言,只能低下頭,把她臉上的淚痕再一次抹乾。137Please respect copyright.PENANAE7X2lxrT1i
實在不懂⋯⋯為什麼莉奈需要這樣自找罪受。糸師冴幾乎是無聲地嘆了一口氣,聲音壓得很低:137Please respect copyright.PENANAaegX5Wnp1D
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「但妳要是真的不理我⋯⋯我還是會不習慣。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAb8pCMPh20K
137Please respect copyright.PENANAnPkld2zw9F
星野莉奈盯著他,哭得鼻子紅紅的。眼淚還沒擦乾,但眼角那種硬撐的力道,忽然鬆開一些。137Please respect copyright.PENANA2hA2ZAM8vB
137Please respect copyright.PENANAZTZswWLJoh
她突然笑了一聲。137Please respect copyright.PENANAfYZxll74UQ
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「你就這樣說不就好了⋯⋯」137Please respect copyright.PENANAj3FfIQba2B
137Please respect copyright.PENANAOYAWvudEUO
糸師冴低頭看著她,視線靜了片刻。137Please respect copyright.PENANABoVvO2fzjA
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她還在哭,也還有力氣撐著自己笑出來,她還沒倒——就跟記憶中的一樣,足夠堅強、能夠處理自己,也夠穩,一直都沒變;這些都是他相信「她會懂」的原因,太相信了。所以糸師冴才能一直只靠自己的「選擇」過活。不需要多說、不用表態、不多做回應⋯⋯因為,她不會變。137Please respect copyright.PENANAwFHSm8VLxH
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但他可能錯了。137Please respect copyright.PENANAKOMd3QWE7W
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她有變。變得更堅強,也變得更孤單。她一直在自己跟自己說話,一直在一個人試著相信:他會回來。只是一個,每天都在等回信、但信箱永遠空著的女孩。一個人處理所有跟「他」有關的後果。137Please respect copyright.PENANAAI6NOraN1E
137Please respect copyright.PENANAKHUjEuY01d
過去他以為的沈默,是默契的表現,是絕對的信任,是彼此心知肚明的安靜陪伴。137Please respect copyright.PENANAgLA4S0HQzt
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直到那天——他在場上拚到最後一刻,還是沒看到她。137Please respect copyright.PENANAYlfIGZjU65
他以為她沒來,現在才知道,她其實在現場。137Please respect copyright.PENANAnmmiITaLTA
137Please respect copyright.PENANAxipCsmKjpn
那種「她都知道,卻什麼都沒告訴他」的感覺,足以讓他悶了整整三個月——原來沉默給人的感受不是信任,是隔閡,是不確定自己還能不能靠近對方的那種距離感。137Please respect copyright.PENANAF1kfT4gl2k
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此刻他才明白,那些不說的話,其實比說出口的更重。137Please respect copyright.PENANAFIDmxVtZHA
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心裡有股說不清楚的複雜感受,在這一刻全數湧上。糸師冴終於伸手,將她整個人攬進懷裡——137Please respect copyright.PENANAHYRv3uODht
力道不重,卻把她緊緊鎖住,像要補回這半年所有的空白。 137Please respect copyright.PENANAypIMD5PgKE
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「⋯⋯莉奈。」 137Please respect copyright.PENANAh7w0qMLsj3
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他的下巴抵在她的額頭,聲音低得幾乎聽不見,「我有在想妳。」 137Please respect copyright.PENANAXj2thMn6Ou
137Please respect copyright.PENANAAcTTcAac7C
星野莉奈鼻音更重了,本來還想再罵點什麼,但那些責怪的話,全被這突如其來的擁抱沖散了。137Please respect copyright.PENANA9CZv1yEYWU
137Please respect copyright.PENANA9RfoskNNep
她悶悶地把臉埋在他胸口,眼淚又一顆接一顆掉下來,嘴裡卻還是不饒人:「下次⋯⋯要早點講。」 137Please respect copyright.PENANAuhnJp04YM2
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「嗯。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAvgM2XaTaAM
137Please respect copyright.PENANAa0TlBx9SL7
「冴,你老實說,我有沒有讓你覺得麻煩⋯⋯」137Please respect copyright.PENANAm229XOYdah
137Please respect copyright.PENANAnOC4nwnveK
「沒有。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAnBpVMPTxSe
137Please respect copyright.PENANA8DhCpv2EFY
「一直傳訊息也不煩嗎?」137Please respect copyright.PENANAIUgY8ix7DE
137Please respect copyright.PENANAFYeE4Dz2vl
「我說了,妳是我的選擇。從十二歲開始。」137Please respect copyright.PENANA66cfAVbpfV
137Please respect copyright.PENANABMyPv3vY71
她哽咽的聲音埋在他的胸膛裡。137Please respect copyright.PENANAYYCYNK36VA
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「那你要說,你真的要說⋯⋯你可以告訴我我太過火了,我可以改、可以調整。可是我需要你告訴我,你在意我;我需要你回應我⋯⋯冴,我真的需要。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAeH3hc5S0LA
137Please respect copyright.PENANAkXIFQwXwLZ
「⋯⋯好。」137Please respect copyright.PENANA6SArn0uba3
137Please respect copyright.PENANAwmPPCvo4tB
「要真的知道,不是『好』而已。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAvQdrsgXoZt
137Please respect copyright.PENANANRtIxltjG6
「知道了。」137Please respect copyright.PENANAnbsPXlZX5D
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她知道他真的知道了。這個語氣,她認得——他會說到做到。137Please respect copyright.PENANASTOnPFkplL
137Please respect copyright.PENANAqDLjqhpC4e
她的手指死死抓住他胸前的衣料,像怕他再一次消失。137Please respect copyright.PENANA7EYrteisVz
137Please respect copyright.PENANAq6od3gm39O
糸師冴只是抱緊了些。137Please respect copyright.PENANANnU4g3EzCt
137Please respect copyright.PENANAtYpYTIBBxC
他們什麼都沒再說。137Please respect copyright.PENANABAmJlAxXXr
只剩下心跳在空蕩的迴廊裡,只有他們彼此聽得見。


