You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgIWgvVNB9
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp14hEr65GL
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIeBGmEVqf
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq51fEqe9J
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCEQFEklI7
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkNePaX7l2
Really talking.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78mZiP3tzP
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0ikWkyE0s
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUaO6t8RRb
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLVpmbewjL
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7k45lErjx
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhessoC0uvt
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0Q6DCM9oE
Or190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBWApM0cjb
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhN3KOXXgjm
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkYFzdc1fi
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJe6xDJFq1
I typed.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVSIlbb1s0
Deleted.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3JPKPnAFb
Typed again.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFAVNinl5y
Deleted.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtS9KHHQ2DM
Typed again.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6YigOmFBC
Deleted.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpCGQ50Wjs
Typed again.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAHncEzjnk
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1RvOYHHXk
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6NwK3T4Y5
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZSX32o2kS
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCtCkP7pfb
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfmJqfG8zQ
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjl8tvXSuB3
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYuC2XIz2m
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRP0RBqAUw
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPhhHlgEiP
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuj87lZhjM
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOeDjfMERN
“I love pizza.”190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOA2pwphBM
“I love that show.”190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7cstulkrJ
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvRYMZt61C
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LmQImYHFI
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpD9kVGg1uc
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTtMybjYWW
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLSmlSP2zs
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7rl8wztqD
Maybe love is giving without expecting.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlvIz6znFw
Hoping without demanding.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡje9kG8luYQ
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz29csQLwX
then what does that make me?
A gambler?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Pz2LMfBOl
A poet with no ink?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LmS9wYOAQ
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufCQPlArh3
It doesn’t ask for returns.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02DBYHbAs1
It just… is.
Like the moon.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbg1ywW476C
Distant. Cold sometimes.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfXhmC5cFp
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38UeNKvxO1
One that felt like surrender.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy2SU4dkHI
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfd9GVPWHx
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebL6lkW9ip
Not because I wanted to.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RufQXdHsY
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFctS0OSCg5
let the poet in me die trying,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKpXToPLpi
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzx9GbUB0X
time won't change the answer,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRxoqbBZst
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOt9KKhCSD
I want her to smile when she sees my name.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKwMOXfZRD
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SjU4cDsNw
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1o51Bx4hF1
But I can be someone good.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr9xWgGoMF
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LZaKEs2T9
"Sure, of course."190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDtp9jZhq7
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9cR4u9ZNl
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5OUJE3PcR
but it still matters.
The night grew older.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDFt75ycCg
The conversation faded into a simple:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpBQfAXO90
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrh3IC8WRP
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRKZi3fVDe
Ceiling fan humming.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4I4IUhiegp
Eyes open.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnNKJdoypD
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHq7O4vnTEG
The silence turned into a lullaby.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8cKAJR5fp
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi814CvuOg7
not even of love,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzXkKB9hZ2
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiS5QIVSHn
No moon. No wind.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bZwGkdp3Y
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhrOEmWrxy
“Do you think love makes you whole?190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYM05CbbsY
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQslCh00Rl
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnmHykZ6rZ
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjVVLlTQOO
A reason.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IlzN9ZtN3
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhSojOrI9t
a feeling.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6E9BeLEKy
A choice.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DZLPfVMWy
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyGjLLBR12
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvhDxCOCL2
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXVmSFbdXL
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9DSrkYBh3
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbunlYNMLEf
peace.
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