
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…189Please respect copyright.PENANA7REGqX381x
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,189Please respect copyright.PENANAbHsUssBxJa
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —189Please respect copyright.PENANAjaZ9iMeh0E
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.189Please respect copyright.PENANAjYEoLPw6Wt
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.189Please respect copyright.PENANAIFsVuadUDa
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.189Please respect copyright.PENANAjKdihSoDLW
Really talking.189Please respect copyright.PENANANgpqNBl9Ao
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.189Please respect copyright.PENANASd6d1LvKWQ
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,189Please respect copyright.PENANATUfY78biDt
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,189Please respect copyright.PENANA5i0kq07o6T
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,189Please respect copyright.PENANABcW1pYgrWD
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,189Please respect copyright.PENANAVMGIcxMsYr
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."189Please respect copyright.PENANA7Fjb2G7Uvv
Or189Please respect copyright.PENANA7S4tzi8yyV
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:189Please respect copyright.PENANAqFNL7mDv1R
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.189Please respect copyright.PENANA2HoJaoxtRl
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:189Please respect copyright.PENANArGTHl4arH1
I typed.189Please respect copyright.PENANAUtBXT4xq2W
Deleted.189Please respect copyright.PENANAvbPWySjNJ5
Typed again.189Please respect copyright.PENANA1I0NVcd2Le
Deleted.189Please respect copyright.PENANADqRiGc45X8
Typed again.189Please respect copyright.PENANAwbber7LYbw
Deleted.189Please respect copyright.PENANAiEr41TDl1w
Typed again.189Please respect copyright.PENANAalElQX8lcz
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?189Please respect copyright.PENANAbA5cWk6erj
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?189Please respect copyright.PENANAOi8XyPPRqj
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.189Please respect copyright.PENANAaKVv7fxXK6
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.189Please respect copyright.PENANAJvHH4KbukH
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.189Please respect copyright.PENANA2J5iy77glR
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:189Please respect copyright.PENANAUKh8U9d1EG
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.189Please respect copyright.PENANAAOJSjZurnA
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.189Please respect copyright.PENANA5TVw2uuGcj
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.189Please respect copyright.PENANAjrkCggK7BF
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?189Please respect copyright.PENANAu4UESSbmFL
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—189Please respect copyright.PENANA0mSMP6pO5q
“I love pizza.”189Please respect copyright.PENANAvxPjL1tzBd
“I love that show.”189Please respect copyright.PENANArLoc4l0xx9
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,189Please respect copyright.PENANAPVl8b5rWbZ
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?189Please respect copyright.PENANAZiU0Fzj0hK
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?189Please respect copyright.PENANAYvtwxjK1VP
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?189Please respect copyright.PENANAs70bJlfvdn
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?189Please respect copyright.PENANAv6z3bXsmOy
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.189Please respect copyright.PENANAoT7SjgvZUL
Maybe love is giving without expecting.189Please respect copyright.PENANAmvHupfyWMD
Hoping without demanding.189Please respect copyright.PENANAks1XRWUuxP
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —189Please respect copyright.PENANAoDlN2snIy1
then what does that make me?
A gambler?189Please respect copyright.PENANAu6EWUY6ubN
A poet with no ink?189Please respect copyright.PENANAW7RMx2aWSE
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.189Please respect copyright.PENANAy3cHZXlIbe
It doesn’t ask for returns.189Please respect copyright.PENANAgw98mIOTZK
It just… is.
Like the moon.189Please respect copyright.PENANA4mfIsBthMg
Distant. Cold sometimes.189Please respect copyright.PENANAKV39Ahz56o
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.189Please respect copyright.PENANAkyJPrLGmyP
One that felt like surrender.189Please respect copyright.PENANA0AKsUqRXNK
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:189Please respect copyright.PENANA1i3Jh81WmK
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.189Please respect copyright.PENANALrAGh3VHrh
Not because I wanted to.189Please respect copyright.PENANAUUUtSNaNrI
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,189Please respect copyright.PENANASN4RtY96vu
let the poet in me die trying,189Please respect copyright.PENANAF8l1tgfCw7
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.189Please respect copyright.PENANAdjs6NZ3nr6
time won't change the answer,189Please respect copyright.PENANAwUQMKN8dVZ
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.189Please respect copyright.PENANAXNgYxwyj6y
I want her to smile when she sees my name.189Please respect copyright.PENANALScszUq8Da
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:189Please respect copyright.PENANAOLSDH9QPGE
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.189Please respect copyright.PENANASn21G1zTvO
But I can be someone good.189Please respect copyright.PENANA0AoQeXGhm2
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:189Please respect copyright.PENANAsT0DjbO2gH
"Sure, of course."189Please respect copyright.PENANALnAJ6qaRvO
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.189Please respect copyright.PENANAgrDtAdXfdd
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —189Please respect copyright.PENANAeiir5Pc0By
but it still matters.
The night grew older.189Please respect copyright.PENANAnZy1Ggov9n
The conversation faded into a simple:189Please respect copyright.PENANAveS2r2xLuR
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.189Please respect copyright.PENANAj42Cat82cF
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.189Please respect copyright.PENANAUdQpgVklS8
Ceiling fan humming.189Please respect copyright.PENANAfVAIGrcxGn
Eyes open.189Please respect copyright.PENANAbvN2wpqvu5
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.189Please respect copyright.PENANAVDZfAVBm6H
The silence turned into a lullaby.189Please respect copyright.PENANAkMITSDKzhr
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,189Please respect copyright.PENANAPwoiq90apN
not even of love,189Please respect copyright.PENANAbmz5ZZ315j
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.189Please respect copyright.PENANAGL47f4DX0Q
No moon. No wind.189Please respect copyright.PENANALihf4CeJFz
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:189Please respect copyright.PENANANXpFf7Oyg5
“Do you think love makes you whole?189Please respect copyright.PENANA2FQpQiy2hk
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.189Please respect copyright.PENANALhebOic6Em
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,189Please respect copyright.PENANAs9mPNtdj1N
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.189Please respect copyright.PENANAV5OWCreC9z
A reason.189Please respect copyright.PENANAoPVogZT29U
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you189Please respect copyright.PENANAuV5hb3OnYS
a feeling.189Please respect copyright.PENANAH738OrVd7a
A choice.189Please respect copyright.PENANAD7ykXH8omn
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,189Please respect copyright.PENANAo5J6e4ZSBd
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.189Please respect copyright.PENANATwQRZJSkeS
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,189Please respect copyright.PENANAAWGsWBfpqZ
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...189Please respect copyright.PENANAfWBAWBdvyi
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...189Please respect copyright.PENANAnBX3efQhlQ
peace.