You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7REGqX381x
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHsUssBxJa
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaZ9iMeh0E
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYEoLPw6Wt
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFsVuadUDa
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKdihSoDLW
Really talking.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgpqNBl9Ao
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSd6d1LvKWQ
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUfY78biDt
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5i0kq07o6T
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcW1pYgrWD
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMGIcxMsYr
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Fjb2G7Uvv
Or189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7S4tzi8yyV
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFNL7mDv1R
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HoJaoxtRl
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGTHl4arH1
I typed.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtBXT4xq2W
Deleted.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbPWySjNJ5
Typed again.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1I0NVcd2Le
Deleted.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqRiGc45X8
Typed again.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbber7LYbw
Deleted.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEr41TDl1w
Typed again.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalElQX8lcz
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbA5cWk6erj
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOi8XyPPRqj
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKVv7fxXK6
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvHH4KbukH
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2J5iy77glR
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKh8U9d1EG
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOJSjZurnA
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TVw2uuGcj
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrkCggK7BF
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4UESSbmFL
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mSMP6pO5q
“I love pizza.”189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxPjL1tzBd
“I love that show.”189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLoc4l0xx9
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVl8b5rWbZ
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiU0Fzj0hK
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvtwxjK1VP
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs70bJlfvdn
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6z3bXsmOy
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoT7SjgvZUL
Maybe love is giving without expecting.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvHupfyWMD
Hoping without demanding.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡks1XRWUuxP
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDlN2snIy1
then what does that make me?
A gambler?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6EWUY6ubN
A poet with no ink?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7RMx2aWSE
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3cHZXlIbe
It doesn’t ask for returns.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgw98mIOTZK
It just… is.
Like the moon.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mfIsBthMg
Distant. Cold sometimes.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV39Ahz56o
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyJPrLGmyP
One that felt like surrender.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AKsUqRXNK
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i3Jh81WmK
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrAGh3VHrh
Not because I wanted to.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUUtSNaNrI
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSN4RtY96vu
let the poet in me die trying,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8l1tgfCw7
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjs6NZ3nr6
time won't change the answer,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUQMKN8dVZ
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNgYxwyj6y
I want her to smile when she sees my name.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLScszUq8Da
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLSDH9QPGE
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSn21G1zTvO
But I can be someone good.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AoQeXGhm2
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT0DjbO2gH
"Sure, of course."189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnAJ6qaRvO
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrDtAdXfdd
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiir5Pc0By
but it still matters.
The night grew older.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZy1Ggov9n
The conversation faded into a simple:189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveS2r2xLuR
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj42Cat82cF
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdQpgVklS8
Ceiling fan humming.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVAIGrcxGn
Eyes open.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvN2wpqvu5
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDZfAVBm6H
The silence turned into a lullaby.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMITSDKzhr
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwoiq90apN
not even of love,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmz5ZZ315j
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGL47f4DX0Q
No moon. No wind.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLihf4CeJFz
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXpFf7Oyg5
“Do you think love makes you whole?189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FQpQiy2hk
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhebOic6Em
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9mPNtdj1N
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5OWCreC9z
A reason.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPVogZT29U
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuV5hb3OnYS
a feeling.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH738OrVd7a
A choice.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7ykXH8omn
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5J6e4ZSBd
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwQRZJSkeS
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWGsWBfpqZ
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWBAWBdvyi
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBX3efQhlQ
peace.
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