Hannah – POV
I "woke up" at six. Not because I slept—just because I gave up trying. I peeled myself out of bed, dragging a body that hadn't rested in days. The cold bit into me the moment I stepped outside. I'd forgotten winter had arrived.
I went through the motions: checked on the cows, the pigs, the chickens. Collected eggs and yesterday's truffles to turn into oil later. I milked the cows, hammered a few loose fence posts back into place. I kept busy because standing still meant thinking—and thinking lately felt like self-destruction.
I would've been content collapsing in the chicken coop if it meant I could get one full hour of sleep.
When I first started sleeping next to Sebastian again, I could rest. My body remembered him like a missing piece. But even that comfort faded once it became routine. And maybe a part of me believed that having him back would fix everything.
It fixed my heart. But not my mind.
Today I'm supposed to meet Abigail and Sam at Sebastian's. I just hope they don't notice how bad it's gotten. The hardest part of being around people again is pretending I'm okay. I don't want them to feel like they're not helping—because they are. It's just... something's wrong with me.
The voice in my head hasn't stopped. No matter how hard I try, it always finds me. It's me, but it isn't. And I can't escape it.
I dropped the shovel and trudged back inside, shedding my muddy boots. I threw on a jacket, smeared makeup under my eyes to cover the dark circles, tied my hair into a ponytail, and called it good enough.
Maybe being around Sebastian will help. Maybe his presence will quiet the noise.
But the voice already laughed at that thought.
I kicked the snow off my boots before walking into Robin's house. She greeted me like I wasn't unraveling from the inside.
"How's the farm, Hannah?" she asked, beaming.
I'd kill to be that happy for no reason. "Slow. And cold."
She laughed, brushing her red ponytail off her shoulder. "Need anything built yet?"
"Not yet. But you're the one I'll call."
"Glad to hear it! Sebby and Abigail are downstairs!" she called as she disappeared down the hall.
I nodded, making my way to the basement. My stomach twisted. I'd told Abigail about the voice—about what's really been going on—and now my brain was tormenting me for it. What if she told Sebastian? What if they think I'm faking it? Dragging it out for attention?
I should be over it by now. I should be fine.
But I'm not.
Abigail was on Sebastian's bed, laptop in her lap. Sebastian sat at his desk, tuning her out as he typed.
"Hannah!" Abigail beamed, a little too brightly, snapping her laptop shut.
"Hey," I said, forcing a smile as I sat beside her.
"You did your makeup again," she said softly, looking at my face.
"Had to cover the dark circles," I said flatly, then immediately regretted it.
"You didn't sleep last night?" Sebastian asked, his voice low with concern.
I shrugged. "I got a little."
They didn't buy it.
"I didn't sleep at all," I admitted, eyes downcast. I wanted to cry just from the exhaustion.
Abigail reached over and gently touched my arm. "Is it that voice again?"
My head snapped up. "I told you I've never told anyone about that before."
Sebastian looked at me with a tired, understanding expression. No judgment. Just concern.
Abigail sighed. "Hannah... you can tell him. You should tell him. We're not going to judge you. We just... we see how much you're hurting."
I swallowed hard. "I know I can tell Sebastian. I do. It's just—embarrassing."
I twisted the ring on my finger, the way I always do when I feel like I'm about to fall apart.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," Sebastian said, moving to crouch in front of me. He rested a hand on my knee. "I love you."
"Tell him," Abigail urged. "Before Sam gets here."
I looked at her—her sharp blue eyes ringed in black eyeliner, hair dyed the color of bruised lilacs. Then I nodded.
"I told Abigail what's been happening. About the Skull Cavern. I don't remember everything, but... my body does. Every day. There's a voice. It's my voice, but it says things I would never say. Some days, I can ignore it. Other days... it screams."
"Like when she dissociates," Abigail added quietly. "That's when it hits her the worst."
"It's not another personality," I said quickly. "I'm not hallucinating. It's just... constant. Intrusive. It's like I'm stuck in a film reel I can't shut off."
Sebastian reached out, his touch grounding. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I feel insane," I said, my voice cracking. "I am insane. And I didn't want you to see how far gone I've gotten."
"You're not insane," Abigail said firmly. "You're traumatized. That's not the same thing."
"I'm not telling you this because I want pity. I'm telling you because I promised myself I'd stop shutting you both out."
I looked at Sebastian. "Especially you."
He didn't respond with words—just wrapped his arms around me. For a moment, I could breathe again.
"There's more," I whispered. "I've lost twenty pounds in a month. Sixty since last year. I can't eat. I can't sleep. Harvey's tried everything, and nothing helps."
Silence followed. Abigail gave Sebastian a pointed look, one that said, I told you so. Then she turned back to me and gently took my hand.
"I have an idea," she said. "It might sound crazy, but... if magic got you into this, maybe it can get you out."
"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked, wary.
"My dad. The Wizard. What if he can help? What if he can look into what really happened in the Skull Cavern? Because this isn't just trauma anymore. This is something darker."
"No." Sebastian's voice was sharp. "Absolutely not. I'm not handing her over to the guy who let her go down there in the first place."
"It's eating her alive, Sebastian," Abigail shot back. "If medicine isn't working, this is beyond Harvey. Way beyond."
"That doesn't mean we risk everything all over again—"
"I want to do it," I said, cutting him off.
Sebastian's eyes met mine, and I saw it—his fear, his hesitation.
"I can't lose you again," he whispered. "What if this... makes it worse?"
"Or what if it gives us the key to end this?" Abigail said. "There are ancient ruins down there. Dark magic. Witchcraft. This is bigger than any of us thought."
Sebastian looked away, jaw tight. Then, after a long pause, he looked up at me.
"You really want to try?"
"I need to," I said. "But I want you with me."
His expression softened. He reached for my hand and held it tightly.
"I love you exactly as you are," he whispered, just for me.
"Then stand with me," I whispered back. "Help me get through this."
He nodded slowly. "Okay."
We had a plan. It might change everything. Or destroy what was left.
But for the first time in months, I didn't feel alone.
And that was enough to take the next step
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