64Please respect copyright.PENANAY5Z9Zqnmsq
我有個不能說的秘密。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAgG4vIJnUWK
從某天開始,我能看到別人對我的「好感度」。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAmF7YhFGt0h
就像遊戲角色頭頂上的數值一樣,每當我看著一個人,那個人頭上就會浮現一組百分比。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAbUsRo4PbfX
爸媽的好感度大約是90%,死黨阿哲是84%,就連平常不太說話的導師也有個65%。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAK1kfgI2c74
數字會隨時間變動,會因為一句話、一個舉動而升高或降低。像是某種無聲的情感反射。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAY81cTcIsvZ
起初我覺得挺有趣的。知道誰喜歡你、誰不喜歡你,感覺能少走很多冤枉路。後來我發現,這其實是一種詛咒。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAM58QBPd56R
你再也不能單純相信一個人對你說的話了。
64Please respect copyright.PENANASzJJdB8VOU
你會知道「沒事啦」的背後是40%,會知道「我沒生氣」實際上只剩下15%,甚至會看到那些滿臉笑容、說著「我很喜歡你」的人,頭上只有殘酷的22%。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAfRikcdIDDI
久了,你會懷疑世界是不是都在說謊。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAlJyYhnRYMd
也許正因為這樣,我才會那麼在意——那個對我來說最反常的數字。
64Please respect copyright.PENANA3H1WZZilHX
她的好感度,是0%。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAaCLqxnwfBx
葉澄,轉學生。
坐我旁邊,成績好,安靜得不像話,總是帶著一副拒人千里的表情。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAobs8QKc8vY
我第一次看見她時,那個數字就寫在她頭頂,像刺眼的標籤一樣——0%。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAbIBIu0OBAa
不是負數,也不是低,而是完完全全的「無」。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAv43ShDG8mI
她不會主動說話,下課總是靜靜地翻書或戴上耳機。我試著找話題,問她午餐好不好吃,她只是抬眼看了我一下,淡淡回了一句:「普通。」
64Please respect copyright.PENANAfGwG3opEHy
我以為她是那種高冷型的女生,對誰都一樣冷。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAXABTdKrOb7
但後來我發現,她其實對別人會點頭、會回應、甚至會笑。
64Please respect copyright.PENANASpCFnVaJAX
只有對我,是沉默、冷淡、0%。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAqAhOuvrtqY
我本來想放棄,真的。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAzOKtkkh8Dl
可是那天放學,我剛好沒帶傘,站在門口發呆的時候,有人從身後輕輕把傘遞了過來。那是一把純黑的傘,乾乾淨淨,傘柄有個小小的吊飾,是我在便利店見過她背包上的那個。
64Please respect copyright.PENANA9vcxw1AOgG
「……拿去用吧。我今天爸媽會來接我。」
64Please respect copyright.PENANAIS2LIGQy2U
她這樣說,聲音淡淡的。說完就走了,沒回頭。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAKeZJK3pYDu
我愣在原地,看著手裡的傘,抬頭——
64Please respect copyright.PENANAv90LjIffDO
好感度:0%。
64Please respect copyright.PENANA4uUGMRfxZi
我真的不懂了。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAjlQKadwpgP
如果一個人對你毫無好感,為什麼會記得你沒帶傘?為什麼會把自己的那一把遞給你,自己去淋雨?
64Please respect copyright.PENANAJCwfsVjjds
我開始懷疑,是不是這個能力,也有看不見的東西。
後來我也試過不去管那個數字。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAZwKpjYHnPr
畢竟她也沒對我差,對話不算多,但偶爾也會接我的話。東西掉了她會幫忙撿,做小組報告的時候她從不偷懶,也從不抱怨。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAscveR5jnjf
如果不是那個0%,我可能會覺得我們就是普通同學。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAnoUJ0b8x33
可那個數字太刺眼了,像某種不合理的線索,讓我沒辦法當作什麼都沒看到。
64Please respect copyright.PENANA5lOi1dW6rA
我不是想讓她喜歡我,也沒有非得刷到幾%的執念。
我只是想知道,為什麼她的反應跟數字對不起來。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3VVxgC973
她幫我記下下週要交的報告,還在我感冒那週默默把我落下的講義整理好放進抽屜裡。
有次我考試考砸了,她淡淡說了句:「這份卷子本來就偏難。」
語氣很平常,卻像是在安慰我。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAlpm8e7fmZa
但——
64Please respect copyright.PENANAaPhhf5PAJ1
0%。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAVcYxEtjL1l
連1都沒有,像她根本沒把我放進她的世界裡過。
64Please respect copyright.PENANASBmK8vJC4h
我開始懷疑,會不會是這能力出錯了。
64Please respect copyright.PENANA4EL8T72zvm
所以我試著更靠近一點,想看她到底是怎樣的人。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAdlZp0KYIo1
不帶任何預設,也不期待那個數字會往上跳。
只是……想知道,她是不是真的,對我毫無感覺。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3nryvzQIO
但越接近她,我就越不確定答案。
64Please respect copyright.PENANA3g51iAwyXm
她像是把自己包裹得太好的人,所有的語氣、所有的動作都恰到好處,既不疏遠,也不親近。就好像她早就知道什麼樣的距離是「不會引起誤會」的安全範圍。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAnQMRlAHT0n
那是一種幾乎冷靜到機械的距離感。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAEND5FvS6ay
彷彿她不是不懂怎麼表達,而是故意不讓任何情緒外露。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAFX6Mn13RqN
這樣的人,我第一次遇見。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAsBrOpX0VCM
也第一次,這麼看不懂。
後來我開始注意她的「無感」。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAEwNP5SnCep
不是冷漠,也不是對誰都一樣——她對別人會微笑,會點頭,甚至在社團活動中和其他人有說有笑。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAWUxvS77n3S
只有在我面前,那些表情都像被關掉一樣。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAr2yA5MWuer
她回應我,但每一句話都像是經過計算;她幫我,卻從不留下任何可以延伸的話題。
像是怕讓我誤會,又像是怕她自己會動搖。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAzj9JsDsam6
某天放學後,我回教室拿東西,看到她一個人站在窗邊,手機貼在耳邊講電話。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAr1zOVYZ0Ia
她的語氣和平常不一樣,輕一點,也柔一點。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAlYpiUo93nk
「嗯……他應該沒發現吧。」
64Please respect copyright.PENANAcm7bWHTHMh
我沒聽懂那句話的意思,但那一刻,她頭頂上的數字忽然閃了一下。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAlJDgHRlBCH
只是一瞬,很快又回到0%。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAadgQ2Mp3m6
我怔住,站在門邊,看著那個數字彷彿差點崩潰,又被硬生生按了回去。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAFII0o0z1ZY
那是我第一次意識到,也許她不是沒有情緒——
而是把它壓得太死了。
64Please respect copyright.PENANA59Iz9zFPUE
我突然想起很多細節。
64Please respect copyright.PENANARIlo0tQI5k
她從來不問別人問題,但常常記得我的筆記裡寫錯哪個公式。
她的文具常常和我一模一樣,顏色也一樣。
還有一次我們在圖書館不期而遇,她拿著我上週借過的那本書——甚至還翻到我夾書籤的那一頁。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAFOGuM4YfC6
這些東西,太多了,多到不像巧合。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAJTxC8F1TTr
但她仍然選擇靜靜地、安靜地當一個跟我「毫無交集」的人。
64Please respect copyright.PENANAfFAzQkURI2
她的0%,不是空白。
是她不想讓我知道那裡原本有什麼。
畢業那天,我回教室拿落下的筆記本。64Please respect copyright.PENANAYd2ssGszLm
64Please respect copyright.PENANAXXsi4TInDr
64Please respect copyright.PENANA2RYOAQIwjo
她還在,坐在原本的位子,靠窗,陽光斜斜灑在她側臉上,像一幅靜物畫。64Please respect copyright.PENANAyN4CR7lvEe
64Please respect copyright.PENANAZOBpXNLD8a
64Please respect copyright.PENANAjB4z97USWH
我猶豫了一下,走進去。她聽見聲音,抬頭看了我一眼。64Please respect copyright.PENANAMesky057XC
64Please respect copyright.PENANAximiviBwnH
64Please respect copyright.PENANA9cws1emyG7
「你忘了東西?」64Please respect copyright.PENANAs6sqUVJrkt
64Please respect copyright.PENANA557Iw18X9q
64Please respect copyright.PENANAX200X5UIcF
「嗯。」我拿起筆記本,轉身,卻沒有馬上離開。64Please respect copyright.PENANAGutA3loUyc
64Please respect copyright.PENANAz3GE0gYuIS
64Please respect copyright.PENANABUD6KracQv
「我想問妳一件事。」我說。64Please respect copyright.PENANAbcbALRuWo9
64Please respect copyright.PENANA9x9Ku4xhqG
64Please respect copyright.PENANAhmLUEb0o4b
她看著我,安靜地點了點頭。64Please respect copyright.PENANAYXdo4sfMka
64Please respect copyright.PENANAk1ABNNeWYf
64Please respect copyright.PENANAbNAfKEuRX7
我望著她頭上的那個數字。64Please respect copyright.PENANAjDOXBO74JI
64Please respect copyright.PENANAHzB6mDjOLk
64Please respect copyright.PENANAU01B7YHtpB
0%。64Please respect copyright.PENANAoxNBkuumck
64Please respect copyright.PENANAZNPvaa98bZ
64Please respect copyright.PENANA6i93YESlIo
我早就該習慣了,可今天再看到,卻像是壓住胸口的什麼終於撐破一樣。64Please respect copyright.PENANAIUkNaOP5bX
64Please respect copyright.PENANAqDKRMooq5V
64Please respect copyright.PENANA4Ve4FhS033
「妳是不是……其實不太喜歡我?」64Please respect copyright.PENANAKLnQJ1S02R
64Please respect copyright.PENANAmxMX37trIw
64Please respect copyright.PENANAkPKaT8w3Nm
她愣住,像是沒想到我會這麼問。64Please respect copyright.PENANAKQ2T4Puqu9
64Please respect copyright.PENANATbdokVybCz
64Please respect copyright.PENANAr25Bz4wEZ7
「你為什麼會這樣想?」64Please respect copyright.PENANA1BokgeWizD
64Please respect copyright.PENANAhYtyVuDqgY
64Please respect copyright.PENANAoHbjOYTNdR
「因為你總是對我很冷。不是刻意疏遠,但……就像你總在保持距離,不讓我靠近。」64Please respect copyright.PENANALI0AtOkOAR
64Please respect copyright.PENANAYd2DCqPKQZ
64Please respect copyright.PENANAX2dvpDqzf9
她沉默了幾秒,然後輕聲開口:64Please respect copyright.PENANAZOpjHN9KL2
64Please respect copyright.PENANAHv4tIdmCVi
64Please respect copyright.PENANAWnWwDmazFT
「我不是那個意思。」64Please respect copyright.PENANAFNlrXVa5GB
64Please respect copyright.PENANAd9F5tXwhpE
64Please respect copyright.PENANAIDMLZSYg2i
我盯著她,沒說話,只是等。64Please respect copyright.PENANAaOSuVfCdtq
64Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7gjiOqMgj
64Please respect copyright.PENANA873WtCyJRQ
她低下頭,像終於無法再維持冷靜。64Please respect copyright.PENANAPp1n1P3gl6
64Please respect copyright.PENANA5F4F2ACLLX
64Please respect copyright.PENANAGXHub59w8J
「我只是……不太會表達情緒。尤其是你在的時候,我總覺得,只要多說一句、多看一眼,就會讓你發現我……其實很在意你。」64Please respect copyright.PENANAhDDCRgd9os
64Please respect copyright.PENANATtuXvT4TPu
64Please respect copyright.PENANABWJZLjqoQc
她抿著唇,像是用盡力氣才說出來。64Please respect copyright.PENANAGJ3c7mDtxs
64Please respect copyright.PENANAhwVRMpji5P
64Please respect copyright.PENANAac3ZWypJZd
「我不知道你會怎麼看我,所以我寧可什麼都不說,裝得像什麼都沒有。」64Please respect copyright.PENANALC5s8Y15o3
64Please respect copyright.PENANAiAyET0dpWv
64Please respect copyright.PENANA2fValz0xzK
我的心忽然被什麼扯了一下。64Please respect copyright.PENANA4HiMPxv74I
64Please respect copyright.PENANAEyLty5wzsF
64Please respect copyright.PENANAPL8ojjprFG
她的聲音更輕了。64Please respect copyright.PENANAoCjPAP53OS
64Please respect copyright.PENANAP4AVw9CrH4
64Please respect copyright.PENANAYyGqDcjHvu
「你以為我討厭你嗎……那你真的很笨。」64Please respect copyright.PENANAqHlAmaIz8T
64Please respect copyright.PENANAkrIkGoUcSY
64Please respect copyright.PENANAvZZVerD1qb
我怔住,看著她的臉,第一次發現那雙總是沉靜的眼睛竟然那麼不安。64Please respect copyright.PENANAOraxioCuFU
64Please respect copyright.PENANA6XkEwwLOw9
64Please respect copyright.PENANAS5NbGIGaz7
而就在那一刻,我看見她頭上的數字——64Please respect copyright.PENANAHHVAIjCBe7
0% → 26% → 63% → 100%64Please respect copyright.PENANAGsDME5YVOG
64Please respect copyright.PENANAcKnPjyQNdL
64Please respect copyright.PENANAbf8m98fyda
我沒有再看下去。因為我已經明白了。64Please respect copyright.PENANA5u2O8DolJK
64Please respect copyright.PENANAkHmcWqxfZS
64Please respect copyright.PENANAQsr3DDzO4l
我一直以為自己只是想看懂她,想解開那個不合理的0%。但現在我才知道——64Please respect copyright.PENANAuEMfD9RQUk
64Please respect copyright.PENANAK7sAbcx3gS
64Please respect copyright.PENANAypRGfhRaBl
我只是太在意了。64Please respect copyright.PENANAtIu7XcCjRf
64Please respect copyright.PENANA8NUJGHFPrk
64Please respect copyright.PENANAzNdbivyC7c
只是自己一直沒發現而已。64Please respect copyright.PENANAJrnugUioKz
64Please respect copyright.PENANA1NartHfu4Y
64Please respect copyright.PENANAUSn578hyeN
我輕聲說:「……其實我也不太確定,從什麼時候開始的。」64Please respect copyright.PENANA89REodiZkz
64Please respect copyright.PENANAZGfKKSGzk7
64Please respect copyright.PENANAlb0asg66zs
「但剛剛你說那些話的時候,我心跳得很快,快到我沒辦法裝沒事。」64Please respect copyright.PENANAIKh8CdyRmU
64Please respect copyright.PENANAZgXY06ZtZQ
64Please respect copyright.PENANAhwrrRD6Gl0
她怔怔地看著我,像是什麼都沒準備好,卻又終於放下什麼。64Please respect copyright.PENANABRecLCqiHt
64Please respect copyright.PENANAsxePaj1dRb
64Please respect copyright.PENANAFNdcRxJYZO
我走近一步。64Please respect copyright.PENANACNr55uYc2G
64Please respect copyright.PENANABkpj6kY17b
64Please respect copyright.PENANAOfmQmVkh8Q
「如果你不想再藏了,那我們可以試著……不用那麼小心了。」64Please respect copyright.PENANABSwxwSsRo8
64Please respect copyright.PENANAsunKVGSxfH
64Please respect copyright.PENANArIYx8vNLSj
她沒說話,只是輕輕地點了點頭,眼神裡第一次沒有那層冷靜的防備。64Please respect copyright.PENANASQBJZssQAK
64Please respect copyright.PENANAwkbXjP2IjL
64Please respect copyright.PENANAOBvFCm0kUA
這一次,她沒有再迴避我。64Please respect copyright.PENANADPTiqVRCej
64Please respect copyright.PENANAiVBLWKZd5w
64Please respect copyright.PENANArCOA0vCSEq
我終於知道,那個「0%」不是空白,不是冷淡,不是拒絕。64Please respect copyright.PENANAT3RJspUL1o
64Please respect copyright.PENANAdIDJwOpZfc
64Please respect copyright.PENANAd0FZbdVmWZ
只是她太小心,藏得太好,連我都差點錯過。64Please respect copyright.PENANAX3rJS2hnDn
64Please respect copyright.PENANAIHcsZbd2m4
64Please respect copyright.PENANAd0b1E56D2X
她從來沒有不在意我——只是從來不敢讓我知道。