《A》 - 10 | Penana

手機...

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十年前嘅手機仲用到都幾神奇。

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得一兩個機號，打去唯一無存名嘅號碼，成功約到人見面。

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追求新鮮感，唔係同一個層面嘅人，先適合佢咁低等。

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低等到，個天都唔放過佢。

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個天從來都只眷顧我，佢唔想承認都唔得。

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搞咁多嘢，佢咩都得唔到。

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見到人，哦舊同學，唔熟又無乜作用嘅人身，叫倪奕之。

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佢鍾意我，從佢毫無芥蒂咁擁抱我度睇得出。

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我都回抱返佢，嗰樣唔錯，身材唔差，又唔係我郁手先，點解唔可以拎返啲回報。

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佢好熱衷咁叫嘢食同畀錢，最好安排埋住嘅地方，我唔想住舊屋，唔知佢哋有冇留返啲錢畀我拎去洗...

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佢帶我去到一間似自修室嘅酒吧，好多人都靜到咁，不如轉做佛堂、祈禱室。

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咁多人都唔出聲除咗係地方有鬼之外，我諗唔到仲有咩原因。

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我以前一定無嚟過，揀出面嘅有feel好多。

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「呢度變咗好多，你都係。」

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呢啲開場白好虛，唔知佢哋咩關係，淡淡地開話頭探下口風。

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「當年嘅事，師兄阻止我同你見面，想勸你同幫你加油都做唔到。」

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見到佢應該係諗起當時嘅情況黑面，睇到就想笑，當你係邊個，你講嘅嘢可以起到咩作用？

咁睇得起你自己？

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「師兄？」

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邊個係師兄，佢哋之間有人係我唔識？

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「程予原，你出返嚟有冇見佢？」

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呢個拋棄我號嘅人，要點樣報復佢呢...

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佢拋棄一直愛佢嘅我，然後愛上同我一樣，但又比我更有天生優勢嘅人。

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賤人，兩個都係賤人。

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「哦冇啊...你有冇結婚？」

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問咗邊一杯甜度最高嘅跳過，飲咗最淡口味嘅先，唔知點解覺得佢同杯酒一樣淡。

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以前都擅長同人打交道，佢都係因為呢一個技能，所以我同佢有過交情。

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咁佢都係有份傳播我要求散播嘅謠言，去害另一個人。

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用佢嘅身份，同呢個人一齊嘅話，同侮辱佢無分別。

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「冇，做咩？」

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突然好心涼，可以再度為所欲為嘅感覺好好，今次無人阻住我，諗起都開心。

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「想同你傾多一陣偈，驚你有家室唔批准。」

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自修室都可以做好多嘢，有人參與就可以。

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「哦...可以。」

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佢突然又變得呆呆滯滯，唔夠聰明，自然被圈子裡面嘅人拋棄，同埋溝唔到人。

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我又唔信另一個低等生物會睇得上佢。

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突然佢笑笑口推杯嘢畀我：

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「呢間嘢捱得過十年，你都捱過十年，試下佢呢一杯係咪十年前同一嗰味道。」

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佢眼底無笑意，換著以前，佢邊有機會咁樣望我。

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「係喎同之前一樣味—」

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酒咁甜有咩好飲，唔識就唔好學人飲。

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不過算，佢而家無機會飲，下世先教識佢都未遲。

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佢一口氣飲完同款飲品：

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「佢鍾意飲嗰一杯，係你頭先跳過嗰杯。

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所以另一個人喺邊？」

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由呆滯眼神轉變為鋒利嘅審視，我一直都唔出聲，睇到佢由到望到我落腳，咩都望唔出，你熟佢同我，分得出咩？

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你師兄都未必分得到。

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佢分唔分得到，都唔夠膽對我點。

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何況係你呢啲無名無份嘅人。

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「我扮得唔似咩？樣定講嘢唔同？」

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對住佢唔需要心虛，我都唔想用呢個低等嘅身份同身軀，但死過翻生，我都幾珍惜有同以前差唔多嘅身體可以用。

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佢嘅鄙視同侮辱淡淡吐出：

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「佢唔會約我，更無飲過呢杯嘢，佢更唔會理我係咩感情狀態。

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係你先會不斷試探人、試圖控制人，佢比你簡單，你好難扮得成佢。

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呢啲唔係外表嘅問題，係人嘅問題。」

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講嘅中間唔望我，仲要遞卡畀人埋單，好似講緊啲無關痛癢嘅小事咁。

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我嘅事，從來都係最重要嘅事。

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佢憑咩？

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有咩資格咁無視我？

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「屌你...我有冇咁差，佢有冇咁好，我一直都係好過佢。」

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我將最後一杯酒飲完，高濃度酒精加原料味太重，好撚難飲。

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「爆粗要再流利少少，而家咁蹺口不如唔好講，佢講得幾有格調。」

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你有機會咪親自同佢講囉。

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你會後悔咁同我講嘢。

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