Listen Moon,
Boys are… more complicated than even they realize. And yet, it also seems they have an ape mode.
Watch their actions more than their words. How do they treat others? Especially those of a lower social standing or age to them? How do they treat animals? Do they laugh at cruel jokes?
These things are what will help you know if he’s worth it. We used to hate it. But my mother is right – girls have so much more to lose.
But boys carry around a weight most girls don’t realize. Being strong means gentleness is often criticized. Being clever means vulnerability or imagination is squashed. Touch is a… touchy subject. Many lost their comfort earlier than they were ready.
So naturally. If you want to catch a boy’s attention it starts with asking for help. Ask for a pen. Ask for their help to move something, finish something, check over something. Give them a direction to help and they will willingly abide. Helping feels good.
You are not lesser than him. You are providing him space in your world. Together you can work out if he wants to stay.
And he might not. You might not be on his radar. His vision might be narrowed on something or someone else.
This does not make you lesser. It makes you two a bad fit. Do not beg for another person’s love. It is unbalanced and never ends well. You are worth more than another person’s pity. You are starlight against the darkened sky. Bright and beautiful. You do not need to prove your worth to anyone. You are wonderfully glorious with every quirk, interest and emotional need.
Saying this, Moon, look about and decide what you really want. Or if your standards are too high for a mortal man to reach. It is rare to find a tall man with emotional awareness. When men are quite tall, they’re less likely to work on their minds. Why put in extra work when their genetics make them conventionally attractive?
And no. You will not fix him. How insulting. You can support him. But your boundaries must be there. Your follow-through on said boundaries must be iron clad. He may not treat you as a prize cow. He may not dismiss or lie to you. Do not settle for a pretty bird that pulls out your feathers. Their birdcage will quickly cage you as well. You need to grow together. That is the sign of a healthy relationship. You are his equal, not his morality stick or mother.
Look for effort. Look for care. Look for a man who wishes to include you in his world. Alladin held out his hand for Jasmine. Listen to your gut. No matter how your heart squirms.
Now. 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGvEK6NeTs
Listen, Moon. My darling.
Men are not mind readers. Studies show they don’t even see the middle shelf of fridges. Tell them in no uncertain terms your needs. Your expectations. Your compromises. Communicate your feelings. Use “I” statements. Squish criticisms between love rather than cornering him with negativity.
“I need you to listen to me. Not to fix it.”
To most boys, a problem is something to be fixed. Not to rotate and look at beforehand.
“I want to go on a date. I want you to plan it.”
“I was hurt by your teasing, please don’t use my insecurities in banter.”
“Sunflowers are my favourite flower. Please buy them for me some time.”
Some might say you are babying him. But I argue you are providing him the blueprints to you. He may not need to look at them quite so hard in the future.
Touch him. If you’re dating touch his hair. Compliment him. Wrap your arm around his. Let him put his head in your lap. Touch him. He is more touch-staved than an abandoned kitten.
Pointed compliments hold so much weight. Smother him in them.
Highschool romances are… messy. You are falling stars smashing into each other. The clumsy advances of boys are misconstrued. The popular boys’ toy with girls like puppets on strings. One boy slept with six girls in my year level and completely collapsed the popular group. I would be impressed if it wasn’t so horrible.
Romance in high school swings on a pendulum that will stop. Make sure you’re not crushed under the ball when it does. But if you are. Stand up and walk away. Provide the same level of care for yourself as you would an 8yr old girl. You are not someone’s barbie. You control your own voice. You are a warrior with many battles ahead. Lift your head and roar into the abyss. Because you are not staying here. One step at a time.
Find the boy who isn’t interested in notches on his bed post. Take a chance on the short king. Offer friendship to the nerd group. Strike up conversation with the quiet boy.
Because when you allow yourself to be safe. When you pick a boy who wants to be a man, not a peacock. It is… marvelous. The chance to look at another human being and stand before them, soul to soul. They see who you are and love you despite and for it. Two imperfect creatures clicking our broken pieces together with hardened gold.
Better to pick a man who choses to intentionally love you, then wait for a soulmate who may never appear. A man who respects your no and yes. No matter what. A boy who says with his full chest, “you are worth fighting for, together with and love.”
With Love,
Blue. 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSakd4wpRjl
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