A touch of soul - I Hate You

I hate that i cry so much...

I hate that the only "safe space" i have is in a bathroom..

I hate that i seem to be interested less in the stuff i used to love doing..

I hate that i'm so awkward with people now

I hate how insecure i am

And how the body you say is mine somehow isn't really mine

I hate that whenever i look in the mirror all i can see is failure written all over it

I hate that i made all those stupid decisions like sending nudes or cutting myself

Without being able to talk to you when it all backfired

I hate that i don't have real friends

I hate that the only friends i have are online and miles and miles away

I hate that i can't talk to someone and truly be honest with everything thats going on because i'm scared on how they'll judge me if they knew the truth

I hate that i have to put on a smile and be the cheery one acting like everythings ok when its not

I hate that i push everything so far down it leaves a lump in my throat

But above all of that

The one thing i hate the most

Is you...

And i hate that i hate to say it

i hate that i can say it

I hate that i can't talk to you

Because talking to you is like trying to reason with a dog that wants to bite your head off

I never get a single word in

I hate that you call yourself a mother

Because you do the bare minimum of what you have to do

I hate that your the reason everything in my life seems to be going wrong

I hate that you don't seem to see how... not okay.. i am

I hate that your the reason i hurt myself trying to free myself from this darkness

I hate.. I- I hate... I hate that i can't tell you any of this

Because i already know what you would say

I Hate you "Mom"...

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