從安布羅斯回來，已經又過了一個月。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8B2FJOnzsf
這段時間，蘇硯扔了不少資料給我，說是要「好好補償」他這三年的損失。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaTPoKCbss
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCP6h2IkQd
……什麼損失嘛。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1TEt4FpfJ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7SOQSY9cD
但他說得一本正經，連眼神都帶著幾分「這是理所當然」的正氣凜然，讓人無從反駁。於是，我只能乖乖接下那些堆積如山的文獻與研究計畫，開始適應回來後的生活。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7tY0QOX1j
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiHKP0spQa
學術界變化很快，雖然這幾年我沒有真正離開過這個領域，但國內的環境終究和國外不同，而且，過去三年，我一直都是在邊緣徘徊。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkB8BWJmhB
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEGybqX6Qx
現在我開始重新熟悉這裡的研究進展，也參加幾場小型的學術研討，見了一些舊識與新面孔，漸漸找回「高階研究人員」這個身份的感覺。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKzsPLDwkM
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBCsjc0jaq
比起三年前，現在的我少了幾分焦躁，卻多了一種更穩定的心境。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwultgHP2q
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UVUlvGXQw
這樣的生活……比我想像中要順利許多。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyk1w7ZDPOG
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOVuxhtwKH
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYalSxGgIG
「會後悔嗎？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6wsLNFw7G
蘇硯問過我這個問題。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0SHEhMX3K
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvMn1IyRJV
那天他帶我去了一家新的咖啡館，店內的香氣讓我想起了Luna，讓我不由自主地出神了片刻。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMqEdUgWYk
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxKZXFjnNu
「回來這裡，真的不會後悔？」他語氣懶懶的，像是在隨口問著，卻又帶著幾分探究的意味。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNaxXbp1N2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENZy3Btk2X
我搖了搖頭，手指輕輕摩挲著杯緣。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBw8e6jae5
「不會。」我歪著頭，思考了會。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWgfZD7VTf
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB8eNY8aOz
安布羅斯的確是個很舒服的地方，Luna也是讓人安心的歸屬，但……那並不是我的終點。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexI0zipqdp
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSN0P08NpeK
我曾經害怕過回來，也曾經猶豫過，甚至登機前都還有那麼一瞬間遲疑過。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7TBtMmL2u
──我真的該搭上飛機嗎?64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKz0MeKO4r
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbP4Q5DWMd
但現在，回來以後，我已經確定自己不會再逃了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGbAynIqkO
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yxlyZQftD
「我很喜歡，現在的生活。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDC0ct2oA5
「妳確定？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiY9QKpl3id
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBOMN8yAoz
「確定。」我輕輕地笑了笑，「學長要是再問下去，會讓人覺得你才是那個不確定的人哦。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xgUgg1mHN
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AuwXTXDSd
蘇硯瞥了我一眼，哼了一聲，「我是怕妳回來後又鑽牛角尖，然後又搞什麼『學術界不適合我』的戲碼，又要大逃跑。你學長沒有那麼多美國時間陪妳玩！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPXwUzHklk
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrM7epAajAn
「這次不會了。」我很認真地說，「因為我知道，我是為了自己回來的。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFA7bXcCa2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOoTx6yxXZ
有時候，我仍然會想起安布羅斯，想起Luna，想起店長。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3Ybx93H01
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVT076Is6h
這個習慣在回來的第一個月特別明顯，每當研讀資料到深夜，坐在書房裡看著電腦螢幕時，腦海中偶爾會浮現那些畫面——64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZRukebeNm
晨光透過玻璃窗灑落，溫暖地映在咖啡杯旁。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rxz4eEMzu
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsrtG3hQIq
店長忙碌時，總會隨手將長髮盤起，嘴裡嘀咕著「這群客人真是越來越挑剔了」。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rQuyWIWQD
而我站在吧台後，靜靜地磨著咖啡豆，等待水溫達到適當的溫度。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtj4B6lTze
那時候的生活平靜而安穩，像是停泊在岸邊的船，不用擔心風浪，也不用害怕目的地。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtrPHAzrlv
只是現在，我選擇再次揚帆了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9gGqichNs
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBICfSzRRy
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjEFLpuS8H
關於他……64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet1PhSwgkm
我不會說，我完全沒有想起過他。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZn0tT6m1g
許墨這個人，無論如何，都不可能被輕易從記憶裡抹去。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUe00PxNV6v
但過去那些帶著痛苦與糾結的回憶，現在卻像是被時間打磨過一般，變得不再那麼鋒利。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlIGYa0GhI
偶爾會想起。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFESyvthnN
但不再讓人感到難以承受。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVbE4Nx0sd
這讓我確定，回來的決定，並不是因為他，而是因為——這是我為自己做的選擇。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBpbKGC1Zb
只是，我認為，我還不能去見他。我要找到最喜歡的自己，才能去見他。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCz1BTSdmz4
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInCmjezORm
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTlTwGY24j
時間慢慢推進，日子一天天過去，我的生活步入了正軌。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAhPQScXKR
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0M67NFDFn8
某天，蘇硯突然告訴我，他那邊有一個研究員的職缺，問我要不要考慮看看。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaczGytloW
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwxxgakhyb
「學長缺人？」我看著他，眼神帶著幾分調侃，「該不會是為了讓我還債，才故意留了一個空缺吧？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjr1a6Nf0t
「妳要這麼想也行。」他一派理所當然地說，「總之這個機會擺在這裡，接不接隨妳。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ776N3mc8Ql
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCW6SmbAps
我沒有立刻回答，只是低頭想了一會兒。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNpJjHCplN
如果接受這個職位，那意味著——64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02EgvV9je8
我會再次正式進入這個圈子，會再次站到與許墨同樣的高度，甚至……可能會有交集。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUg9aBDnjB8
但我已經不再害怕了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc1tnBF11s
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLei4YAqnnA
我放下咖啡杯，抬頭看向蘇硯，輕輕地笑了一下。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhm70XTfER
「好啊。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIx5zxzGiO
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFVqKSCDdZ
這一天，窗外陽光正好。或許，我的春天，也該來了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKN4e15l7q
然後按「加至主畫面」