Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tExEsP0LV
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKDsAVvJ5m
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWk0GSWSJPs
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4Q041ONGP
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsITsilvpdQ
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMy2Fqk39F
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It's what's inside of me that's the problem.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3rhaoGxrT
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956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kfe4FQNVR
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9YkFxKOuX
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3H4X1mEZN
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyt6qfQ3va
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF1DEdWpcV
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1X7BpB1ShM
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CEQ5HR2BP
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G8Hcun1AR
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7h7TtfxHo
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8Pjn80LW8
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gk9FtiQTo
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1dw6oZk4U
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWy3zf11bEs
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2WabOPpxl
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnBfETMALC
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jcpF9yxz2
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtZnWHQnDr
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGQzkGN03q
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbcucqQDhk
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciLqlTsWDg
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQokhL7p5Qt
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In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViY16FA1xZ
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjH0BLW8Va4
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrH4DR0y7yV
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7M6xr8hEU9
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJzT9SXLGe
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EFGFbJBE8
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oDndcY8pI
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4Jlqp9Gan
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs9H05yLtf
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVhxawWxrq
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbchu6L9tI2
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"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYTSETXIO7
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxCLv4hn7l
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFZe0lvMVc
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnryV6ZvWO
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdGoLfzEns
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBkvcGp1v1
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*•*•*•*956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaYHU9Bag5
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQGbeiaGAS
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht1WQif7Jo
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3UKqBBIoz
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZSQ8itTbH
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23nMcIdG6G
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GKNjqQGni
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"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G0ugtg9Kb
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWwdvHbMjA
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzEqWAVhh0
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPa19SXGA8Y
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDVGU4DtpL
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvRxwqYw8N
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEfZgKCi4W
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFlLmYMj2g
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOapqgPjGj
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MeBzdLRSd
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulHm6C5HUR
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNntg951Jl
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTkyrWfSkb
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhgqCqqGGd
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrJLzyxZ9h
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xV3irzqEC
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQOo1YSVP8
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcI4KoPfls
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQMQ62tn9r
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aOdlGSvwU
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBuuUg1rNY
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBDJ8jea2l
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All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhETT2Xp0ST
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWhJZI9E6r
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMLTIYoVel
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCnEivXz1h
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhh6aTGAo6
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"It won't be painful—"956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIWs0g4UFf
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRBLuNupWA
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWuQAsZiza
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLSxg0VwsV
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYJUNn7WXt
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7haSS5NUDC
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3L6xgYGkC
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53847aIEeO
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG88DozvVR3
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82Kw5XTsm7
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3joqpAP7HM
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsF5eWSLE7u
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTDt0st8mM
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hsbaGftWZ
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtQopz3khT
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhStwmrBfD
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvytLqecTks
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3nxi3oRnA
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He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgxkMFGcIe
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ERQlv42dg
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However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVdziI42oA
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This is it.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq2dtjUjK6
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaswoMBV9mt
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoq6vZVjTA
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaQceW6zzc
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubB1YOHfym
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmhfHZD27b
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjAvOEU59N
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFE8vb4lM7P
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Kt4iBoRHn
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozv4rqbTID
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAH1pBfG0B
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"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiW237DeCqe
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknhcs8l4x9
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I freeze.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsFQT45DAm
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0JLb0hgYf
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1NmflasT8
Then I breathe.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCGGO97bJg
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fqRWPEttd
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DxvNnLqWv
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡredH0AxYd2
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBFCub8PKA
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXS6bxu3vi
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFAHAFh4wa
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIrl1ZR9P0
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4yYuMPB5A
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WFLHu1z1H
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFn57BxKMW
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2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FuJtmXtgL
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazHl1IQnGN
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3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzG6B1EmNYK
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LATdm5Ojl
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Something isn't right.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPp5BtGAYI
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xusg0ggVF
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiscyLR78W
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSIvQj8byX
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk4SZGsHB1
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ7i7klnz9
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxmwjfABuB
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VoTQnLK2T
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN8K1aRNdW
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMxfPJ995G
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas2kiNoAHR
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"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDd7EzYp0S
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbktfSYw5Rr
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYyEEIqZWd
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdysL9arbc
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVtdV2g5Ut
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His lips twitch. 956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoWnE0yrwj
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1lCZn9QVR
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXsfccDljs
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TDpgkDR3y
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzogSuILHLL
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqE6m2iynU
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7aqbFE13x
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf36TFv2YdO
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KAbiYf945
"Okay so what do I have?"956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVK1Ss2xhA
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtDnQDzHSX
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXacCIMlcy
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bXd1lWdTK
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoRblWrFOF
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4hqrlDt0X
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2r7PYfaiXg
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgEyySm9go
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGipISmudx4
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhdVpGxm6O
956Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3LmB89rrR
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