Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwdawbzUyz
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftqp17q5Eb
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Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUQZjqzLsj
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It's what's inside of me that's the problem.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdblpGKC5e
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You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMxqlKClPj
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Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8Gct5Sbd8
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My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubgdAVXCIe
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In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbGQXuO40k
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I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIDBUwnwWx
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I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡml7YU0BtIb
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"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgCK09Aykt
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In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCueFKvoOmU
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"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59mTFyJNFB
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She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCP1DaC3mz
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"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLo67v2KbT
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"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnLipA70XB
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She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI8JV917C4
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*•*•*•*1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnYbSAEZu8
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I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTbB366fpD
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"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqKCU9oIzF
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"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5UjzZxQ3C
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"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaHcyQhBYs
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"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CKlbPJJta
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And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezRYNjjzVs
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"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Y1CB8sMLP
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He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Oc1picbJJ
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWSSt8HmQL
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All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7f9AIGRkDw
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He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxYNO2gRzv
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"It won't be painful—"1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKPVmZEMu6
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"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2weKS219e
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnm4APpHbl6
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I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUWpjnpDSt
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He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcztv4GXqjr
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What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyxlkQkZ3J
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I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWCKs5fYmY
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He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGt8OeuBZWi
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However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtq6A30AkE
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This is it.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SaUnaD99q
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He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QD5Tq1FHx
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"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09wW4oiRoS
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I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomajN6fAvI
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"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7y4D3MXuq
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I freeze.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuc2rMPWtB
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Then I breathe.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RSYvW2QKY
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I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvQSEeuWjQ
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However, as soon as that breath is released, I 1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8iWwn5uu2
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1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk9joOUVMS
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2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxIxOO47o7
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3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSLvJc0Xnx
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Something isn't right.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tUngD0y5P
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"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5tBKdUpz3
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He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBatkusYMyz
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He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSnj2Ev53n
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"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOUdJttR0T
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"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItqBdnKcGQ
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His lips twitch. 1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg6IN8Qrvp
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"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDmjXl1CfK
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Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSFFGY4sCI
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"Okay so what do I have?"1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcA6UkHF5BY
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"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."1304Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlbcge7HHu
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and then Add to home screen.