Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NLyw1okAM
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzjOEpnK80
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Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WHQcM4IfB
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It's what's inside of me that's the problem.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJwmJ4GZEw
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You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGVFHjYhTm
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Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIu1LhHiM81
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My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BYhPhDZUb
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In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIs8reBeLME
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I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvFiE4mUqZ
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I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mvgfufrVo
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"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLC97COcGO6
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In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIlc0qadnT
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"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoirqrflfnf
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She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwAMTqc7Z0
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"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScZzOVjsNH
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"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnLvDvIe7P
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She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRB0XflAiU2
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*•*•*•*1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuhSrTTI2q
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I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9s564VFeUj
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"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKPMPRB996
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"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRo0zSHrmH
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"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjrvskpov8
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"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAx3OvAaKJQ
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And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjo7BZGvFeg
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"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8rdjHXnw7
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He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb51i5u8gk
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzb0iPryuBW
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All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡna5iN1STfZ
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He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6OnjMN33Y
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"It won't be painful—"1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIbzbyo5qE
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"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdGRvsYtjo
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1VANSZX0i
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I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dxyYQWvuQ
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He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpowXkJnc5U
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What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EgQkP9JyZ
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I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74XydFrxnK
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He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQvV5xY548
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However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vQrufevyf
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This is it.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6KQChb0WH
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He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGsP77SdWU
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"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXq62DCkme9
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I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVHdjdXsoi
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"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cLwYowCsh
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I freeze.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QQ29ta8wm
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Then I breathe.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqd3lGC4z7D
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I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgXiRxnjid
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However, as soon as that breath is released, I 1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASOIp8Tjpo
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1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtXOSLgfFr
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2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaazSqERYDw
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3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mF9pxljst
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Something isn't right.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjCLgQlbnQ
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"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxFQMkidI5
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He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBbid6aYoi
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He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDZRp63SMv
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"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEOZkn0Pz9
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"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsZ4lwnRLh
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His lips twitch. 1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDw8ePc5L6
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"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡms251EHAV1
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Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLtdxtj67E
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"Okay so what do I have?"1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAOfbk382T
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"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."1303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHRTN4bgSf
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and then Add to home screen.