Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.959Please respect copyright.PENANA9UG6wabth0
959Please respect copyright.PENANAzr3ce1npcX
959Please respect copyright.PENANAyqsu1mE0Ts
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.959Please respect copyright.PENANACHWUu5YvjC
959Please respect copyright.PENANAfk4KO8y3dQ
959Please respect copyright.PENANAZX66nuweMf
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.959Please respect copyright.PENANA9YuPXyTWMD
959Please respect copyright.PENANAnHa7K0hf2B
959Please respect copyright.PENANAG9lyHqqTsD
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.959Please respect copyright.PENANA1iMdWJMxyp
959Please respect copyright.PENANAJLNVqdU2XG
959Please respect copyright.PENANATFJs8cUPpe
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 959Please respect copyright.PENANAcxJY7IvntF
959Please respect copyright.PENANAD3XHQ4MdY5
959Please respect copyright.PENANAX7eCXhu1YN
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.959Please respect copyright.PENANADBaXWL959Z
959Please respect copyright.PENANAXzICFSWNR8
959Please respect copyright.PENANAg4Cjq76Vsm
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.959Please respect copyright.PENANAwp5kDGBnCD
959Please respect copyright.PENANA3PVz818JNI
959Please respect copyright.PENANA0vdJOUWCIL
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 959Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZyMcmujGv
959Please respect copyright.PENANAI6hWdnT3CO
959Please respect copyright.PENANA5185wJjVJA
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.959Please respect copyright.PENANAQPESF8xD77
959Please respect copyright.PENANAviFfIaUkCq
959Please respect copyright.PENANAA2DBK95YlQ
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.959Please respect copyright.PENANApMAuY3Qyzu
959Please respect copyright.PENANAhhnyLheuuf
959Please respect copyright.PENANALCaTENG4Sx
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.959Please respect copyright.PENANAxbSG06IA4S
959Please respect copyright.PENANAa4hx4VALET
959Please respect copyright.PENANAob0mQQrJof
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.959Please respect copyright.PENANAopRjVGV2rY
959Please respect copyright.PENANAXvlbNMmCX7
959Please respect copyright.PENANAAljayEmQU5
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.959Please respect copyright.PENANAvggIQsybKh
959Please respect copyright.PENANA9dBH8EFRLC
959Please respect copyright.PENANAGo8JfQrkJs
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.959Please respect copyright.PENANA86lOgXAs1x
959Please respect copyright.PENANA0EmbLhZSNl
959Please respect copyright.PENANAn8Hm5vZdVw
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.959Please respect copyright.PENANA6KFAbulJXp
959Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7f0kCH2Ot
959Please respect copyright.PENANAetv7cF8k6C
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.959Please respect copyright.PENANAISHo7wXC5X
959Please respect copyright.PENANAVeuJP92kyT
959Please respect copyright.PENANAp0FeRrGpMG
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.959Please respect copyright.PENANAYjvlfWXcAi
959Please respect copyright.PENANAudXGScwE0j
959Please respect copyright.PENANA3Et1ikdUzF
959Please respect copyright.PENANAnzvRBJ0LuD
959Please respect copyright.PENANA3ALmn4EILB
*•*•*•*959Please respect copyright.PENANAGT8WWwaQNs
959Please respect copyright.PENANAfRwwNSu0Zw
959Please respect copyright.PENANAHZVia5PvJT
959Please respect copyright.PENANARSrDRk9Tmf
959Please respect copyright.PENANAqzwa4p6wAn
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.959Please respect copyright.PENANADtlNIUBIvy
959Please respect copyright.PENANABCCs3xBI4c
959Please respect copyright.PENANAqgBINGgtF3
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.959Please respect copyright.PENANAafyqakgtqG
959Please respect copyright.PENANANV42ORoz1i
959Please respect copyright.PENANAwIjpqgtVzx
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.959Please respect copyright.PENANA3BUlGEwvEi
959Please respect copyright.PENANAElaXKgsZgl
959Please respect copyright.PENANA9VhnoXmHBa
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."959Please respect copyright.PENANAJB68b4ADHg
959Please respect copyright.PENANA8ML8AsILHt
959Please respect copyright.PENANAMi6UEQxMo3
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.959Please respect copyright.PENANAcOMclo2Cg1
959Please respect copyright.PENANAoBxdb3RK5s
959Please respect copyright.PENANAIgqNrcPUjL
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.959Please respect copyright.PENANA0jDuEkgSuy
959Please respect copyright.PENANAjIEQZSqaVL
959Please respect copyright.PENANA5hLEK0lrY2
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.959Please respect copyright.PENANA7KeV8GmLOT
959Please respect copyright.PENANAmgm8D6DWA1
959Please respect copyright.PENANA1sGTKi7J0U
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.959Please respect copyright.PENANAQz8R7s0eTb
959Please respect copyright.PENANAb5zCkhoM4r
959Please respect copyright.PENANA52gYG0byJ2
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."959Please respect copyright.PENANAGmBammYrjR
959Please respect copyright.PENANAP1dRksRDGy
959Please respect copyright.PENANAiwjTA9aPtd
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.959Please respect copyright.PENANAwaJgjRcRvp
959Please respect copyright.PENANADZRkINNksJ
959Please respect copyright.PENANApeAdN9ztmn
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.959Please respect copyright.PENANACLqFrkL3wk
959Please respect copyright.PENANAsGZY9DKCdo
959Please respect copyright.PENANAfAVDHY4uTt
"It won't be painful—"959Please respect copyright.PENANABXFtYsIZ1T
959Please respect copyright.PENANAUjQ2POrSQc
959Please respect copyright.PENANAWI3pLQSKi1
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"959Please respect copyright.PENANADqNwUFHhyI
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.959Please respect copyright.PENANAyCXjcZ62dw
959Please respect copyright.PENANAZljIC3E34o
959Please respect copyright.PENANAL8PoJLHEft
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).959Please respect copyright.PENANA0jYSfcarpD
959Please respect copyright.PENANAhMUcZCAHf8
959Please respect copyright.PENANAvuNSahM2KQ
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.959Please respect copyright.PENANAtRznH3zECY
959Please respect copyright.PENANASoJIri42zA
959Please respect copyright.PENANABo9BPUI0Ew
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 959Please respect copyright.PENANA7UO2363kJl
959Please respect copyright.PENANA91waeNk8ah
959Please respect copyright.PENANAKbIEaYeIWN
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.959Please respect copyright.PENANAQnZfcEtXqB
959Please respect copyright.PENANAoCxGENM1DE
959Please respect copyright.PENANAkEwnNpS3Qj
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.959Please respect copyright.PENANAnqxYDGi5Mq
959Please respect copyright.PENANAQVObBOVGPf
959Please respect copyright.PENANAzk7w3lOQDB
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.959Please respect copyright.PENANAwhYnKAdWuv
959Please respect copyright.PENANAmkhTqImQ0E
959Please respect copyright.PENANA4buHQFyd3w
This is it.959Please respect copyright.PENANAE8MUPe7uMB
959Please respect copyright.PENANAPfaJDOOr4G
959Please respect copyright.PENANAsUUKXjq3wi
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.959Please respect copyright.PENANApt9lW7k7uK
959Please respect copyright.PENANAi7HUCA24Mi
959Please respect copyright.PENANAneW414o89I
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.959Please respect copyright.PENANAkYglHPjhmI
959Please respect copyright.PENANA13mIvaLnbA
959Please respect copyright.PENANAWJ9tatq1p2
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.959Please respect copyright.PENANAZHnTmhpA1w
959Please respect copyright.PENANAdQuhaJXwSx
959Please respect copyright.PENANAi7KvmOUjAl
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.959Please respect copyright.PENANAoMKTfbJ3hV
959Please respect copyright.PENANA3yZU9AxnX0
959Please respect copyright.PENANAWytt4iip6f
I freeze.959Please respect copyright.PENANAahxZWlUcjU
959Please respect copyright.PENANAvDw56m6kAe
959Please respect copyright.PENANAoL7K2eHh36
Then I breathe.959Please respect copyright.PENANAfyrmNA37kT
959Please respect copyright.PENANA5jBtRCrrah
959Please respect copyright.PENANA3oHw2rD9vh
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.959Please respect copyright.PENANARpBjQ2LtXM
959Please respect copyright.PENANAta9VBNaRJd
959Please respect copyright.PENANAPk05QYKKns
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 959Please respect copyright.PENANAnvzEMdftV1
959Please respect copyright.PENANAmp6DM1jz0b
959Please respect copyright.PENANA988iydna4Q
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 959Please respect copyright.PENANAzFPk7yKQpM
959Please respect copyright.PENANAwE5AsoLpFz
959Please respect copyright.PENANAdCOvRde3QY
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and959Please respect copyright.PENANAIAbNNV6Neu
959Please respect copyright.PENANAAqCYvBn5kF
959Please respect copyright.PENANALhXeVUCGdc
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.959Please respect copyright.PENANALlNfFLOqR4
959Please respect copyright.PENANAFMj6CIrY5O
959Please respect copyright.PENANAJZmZo9CTcv
Something isn't right.959Please respect copyright.PENANAJTevnZ5sN2
959Please respect copyright.PENANA8thrDDbTNW
959Please respect copyright.PENANAqhqT5GxJqx
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.959Please respect copyright.PENANAwHzb3yFJdP
959Please respect copyright.PENANAixfB4olXeq
959Please respect copyright.PENANAPbHbQXMme6
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.959Please respect copyright.PENANAxz6yZvXS8q
959Please respect copyright.PENANApmVLo5YXjH
959Please respect copyright.PENANAHT6BZPZoo6
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.959Please respect copyright.PENANAiSLV7JjiGS
959Please respect copyright.PENANADL1mv8qIL5
959Please respect copyright.PENANA1Szq4TSVzU
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."959Please respect copyright.PENANAsqSHrINFZP
959Please respect copyright.PENANAfFRqPEsgGc
959Please respect copyright.PENANA0RYhfCBbqp
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.959Please respect copyright.PENANAPJzJVPfZ77
959Please respect copyright.PENANAWCvNTmKkeB
959Please respect copyright.PENANALu9jDR1osC
His lips twitch. 959Please respect copyright.PENANAVvM0Pherru
959Please respect copyright.PENANAahQdaBL6Fy
959Please respect copyright.PENANA5Q9WHSmI1v
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."959Please respect copyright.PENANAlgZ2fBhf48
959Please respect copyright.PENANAc3LKdZVXZW
959Please respect copyright.PENANAfaMCEwJxM5
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.959Please respect copyright.PENANASn1mZ6lmXL
959Please respect copyright.PENANA6nwQhmZmNd
959Please respect copyright.PENANAXzesLUz1U1
"Okay so what do I have?"959Please respect copyright.PENANAIZ1TJ8s0SL
959Please respect copyright.PENANAITme6sCpC9
959Please respect copyright.PENANArUkkNhmKvd
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."959Please respect copyright.PENANA89Y3JqX1FG
959Please respect copyright.PENANASr9Utcr7HE
959Please respect copyright.PENANAADuerun2fL
959Please respect copyright.PENANA23egZOSZCk
959Please respect copyright.PENANAJSmS2CRL0M
959Please respect copyright.PENANAoffSfa2MXT
959Please respect copyright.PENANAU2UZCV3yFP
959Please respect copyright.PENANAZpnGt8K3h3