其實…我地而家係乜嘢關係？ - 七十七

食完飯之後晴晴話有嘢做就走先，跟住Cathy又話佢去尋日同我提過嘅嗰個地方，同我拜拜完就走咗，得返我自己一個，我又無所事事咁，都唔知有咩好做

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跟住我就坐咗喺一邊，喺度諗：如果可以拍拖嘅話可以有幾好呢，拍拖我諗到嘅好處，例如可以同一個自己鍾意咗好耐嘅女仔一齊行街，一齊去睇美景，一齊做好多好多唔同嘅嘢

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食乜嘢唔係最緊要，最緊要嘅係同邊個一齊

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嗰種意義先至係最刻骨銘心嘅

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晴晴佢冇選擇到我，因為佢有佢自己嘅選擇

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呢句好似講咗十萬次，不過都要重複多一次

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雖然佢冇提過佢宜家有冇拍拖，不過佢始終唔係屬於我，依家我開始想做返一啲去彌補返嗰陣時失去咗嘅回憶

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而我今日選擇咗做嘅係行去晴晴屋企樓下，咁我當然唔係上佢屋企啦

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呢樣嘢我喺我地仲一齊嗰陣時其實係冇做過嘅，不過點解我會記得佢嘅住址呢？

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因為嗰陣時諗點解我哋會分開，又唔開心，就走去睇返嗰一張小學畢業前晴晴寫俾我嘅嗰張紀念冊，睇到佢嗰陣時嘅住址，我唔知佢之後有冇搬

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呢啲資訊無啦啦諗幾下就記到㗎啦，亦都可能我記一啲冇用嘅嘢會記得特別清楚

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呢啲數字，呢啲英文字母，其實對我嚟講已經冇乜意思，但係唔知點解我仲會記得，我仲記得同晴晴喺小學嗰陣時，我同佢表白嘅嗰日；

我仲記得嗰陣時我收到佢嘅訊息，佢要同我分開嘅嗰一日

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好多好多嘅日子仍然記喺我嘅腦海入邊，不過個人已經唔喺度啦，而呢啲數字可能就連接住，承載住我同一個人之間嘅回憶

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咁樣就夠啦

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行緊去佢屋企樓下嗰陣時，我一直响度諗返起我同晴晴喺一齊嘅一點一滴

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例如小學嗰陣時我教佢做數，我去安慰佢，當佢默書冇攞到滿分嗰陣時我去同佢講冇事嘅，叫佢唔好俾自己咁大壓力，去到畢業嗰陣時佢去咗女校，同我行咗唔同嘅路途，仲記得喺佢去面試嗰日，我個心係有啲哽住咁樣

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我唔知點解佢要無啦啦離開我

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或者去到佢成為咗手鐘隊喺台上指揮嗰個人嗰陣時，就已經證明咗世界上好多嘢係會變㗎，

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而人心係最容易變㗎

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我令到自己好唔開心，成日去諗一啲痛苦嘅回憶，但係我覺得有時正正呢啲回憶係一個提醒我嘅方法，提醒呢個人我曾經同佢一齊，佢曾經鍾意過我，但係到而家呢一刻，當佢已經有新生活嗰陣時，

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我仍然留戀喺小學版嘅晴晴嗰度，即使佢身形變咗，佢嘅思想亦都可能因此而變咗，佢諗好多嘢會成熟咗，但係我始終鍾意嘅係晴晴呢一個人

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行到去佢屋企樓下嗰陣時，其實又好似有啲感觸咁，又好似好平凡

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我自己行到去一個路途嘅終點，但係我同晴晴之間嘅關係去到終點未呢？冇人知

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而家我哋只係十幾歲嘅人，去到將來我哋仲有幾十年要行，會唔會去到某一日，

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可能去到十八歲我哋考完試嗰日，我哋突然間明白到啲乜嘢

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去到二十幾歲，當我哋都喺職場嗰陣時，無啦啦諗通咗啲乜嘢

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甚或可能去到聽日我哋兩個嘅其中一個人已經出咗場意外，從此失去再同對方見面嘅機會

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好多事情都冇得我哋去控制，晴晴嘅離開我控制唔到

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或者諗咗咁多嘢，其實只係我自己嘅想像，我都答唔返呢啲問題嘅答案

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但係咁樣可能令到我個心會舒服一啲囉77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygsiA1n3nK

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