其實…我地而家係乜嘢關係？ - 一百一十

Day 1

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我都聽到好多人不停議論晴晴呢一個人

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咁我諗應該好多人都知道我地之間嘅感情

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其實簡單嚟講就係前男女友嘅關係，複雜其實可以講到好複雜嘅

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我頭先都用咗百幾章去講我同晴晴之間嘅事啦，咁我又冇興趣再用咁多時間同佢哋復述返咁多件事嘅

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同晴晴喺同一個課室上堂之前，仲有一件事

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就係我唔知點解，我嘅班主任會知道咗我同晴晴之間嘅關係，然之後WhatsApp問我「你同晴晴係咪前男女友？」

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我見到之後梗係驚訝啦

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我覺得佢應該都係聽人講嘅，唔會無啦啦猜測嘅

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咁我就話「都算係嘅」

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俾我知道邊個話俾班主任聽，我殺咗佢

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咁入到課室之後理所當然，見到個Helper同埋學生坐埋一齊嘅咁

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我就見到Stephen同晴晴坐埋一齊，跟住Mark同另一個女仔坐埋一齊嘅

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我望到晴晴，又唔想我哋兩個之間好似顯得太尷尬，咁我就同佢打招呼，跟住同佢講話：「嚟緊呢幾日開心啲呀」

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晴晴點一點頭

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咁其實有呢一個反應，我已經知道應該都冇乜可能㗎啦，

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比着之前，如果係小學嗰陣時，佢應該會答多幾句嘢㗎嘛，

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就算可能响個陌生嘅環境，可能而家我哋之間唔夠熟，但係我覺得佢都可能會俾多少少反應，

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而家佢淨係俾咗個點頭嘅動作

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我諗個結局都出晒嚟啦

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我地之間嘅關係仍然未夠好

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但係...我仍然想爭取返個機會，去同晴晴講返清楚成件事

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首先一個大前提就係，我唔想exchange會令到我哋嘅關係變得更加差

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另一樣就係，如果上天俾咗個咁好嘅機會我，去同晴晴再強制性見面幾日

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咁我點解唔利用呢個機會，去嘗試改返好我哋嘅關係，

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最起碼去到朋友關係呢？

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小息前嗰幾堂冇乜重點，我都唔想聽教書教乜嘢

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你地更加唔會想知

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小息嗰陣時，Andy佢哋梗係想睇吓晴晴喺邊啦，睇吓呢個我鍾意咗咁耐嘅女仔嘅真面目

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我就當然快閃一步啦

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我就走去睇吓Stephen同晴晴去咗邊

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跟住俾我望到個男仔喺度打波，個女仔企咗喺室內望住佢

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頂你個肺，你掉低個女仔喺度

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你係咪人嚟㗎？

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我就行咗埋去同晴晴講嘢

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其實我覺得最好就唔好講，費時出現我同晴晴關係變得更加差嘅風險

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不過我覺得...佢應該都好想有一個人陪佢講嘢

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我始終記得晴晴嘅個性

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我唔係講到人生，嗰種有個男仔陪喺隔離一齊面對困難嗰啲嘢

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我覺得普通傾吓偈，都可以紓解到佢嗰種緊張嘅情緒

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雖然我同意我唔係最好嘅對象

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我就行咗埋去問晴晴：「今日上咗頭幾堂，覺得點呀？」佢答我話ok

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我帶佢行咗去一個比較安全嘅位置，因為晴晴本身企嗰個位係可能有波會飛埋嚟嘅

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係，我到宜家仲在意緊晴晴

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我就問佢：「你本身係自己諗住過嚟，定係可能有要求要符合某啲條件」

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晴晴話：「一定要學生會嗰啲先至可以參加，而係可以揀留喺原校，定去另一間，咁我又填咗冇所謂」

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我話：「就俾人掉咗過嚟啦」佢話：「係」

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咁我諗...始終一個熟悉嘅環境係更加好嘅，對於佢呢種類型嘅女仔就更加適合啦，

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但係唔知點解佢唔會諗住留低，冇乜可能冇所謂

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以我喺小學嗰陣時對佢嘅理解，一定有啲原因嘅，但係我未諗到係咩

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可能呢幾年令到我已經唔再了解佢啦

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跟住我問佢：「咁你諗住呢三日exchange…你有冇諗住學到啲乜嘢？或者有啲咩想做嘅？」

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佢就話可能體驗吓男校嘅生活，佢覺得男校嘅人係癲啲嘅

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咁呢個好正常嘅，

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不過Stephen呢啲人真係癲啦，我係冇expect過佢會無啦啦抌低一個女仔，係一個陌生嘅環境之下，

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仲要自己一個喺度睇住你打波

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冷靜冷靜

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我試探性咁講咗一句：「睇吓有冇啱心水嘅仔俾你溝囉」

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佢嘅反應係望住我，笑吓笑吓咁

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我諗...晴晴都仍然記得我哋之間所發生過嘅事嘅

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不過點解我哋分開咗，就無從得知啦

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佢仍然記得喺佢小學嗰陣時，佢曾經鍾意過一個男仔叫阿謙，但係因為某一啲阿謙唔知道嘅原因，晴晴選擇咗分開

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佢响呢幾段嘅對話，都冇乜點主動答過我

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主要唔係一啲佢唔識答嘅嘢，我相信佢唔會簡短到講一兩句

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我諗應該係佢唔想同我講嘢啦，但係冇人講，咁唯有同我啦

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但係...

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我個心一直好痛

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一個自己鐘意嘅人唔理自己

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或者我希望...呢個exchange可以比一段新嘅經歷佢

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喺佢嘅青春入邊，佢記得曾經去過一間男校體驗學校生活

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曾經同過鍾意佢嘅男仔响同一間中學上堂

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對我嚟講，呢個都係一個全新嘅經歷嚟嘅

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好老實講，呢個exchange表白，就應該冇乜可能成功㗎啦，

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响一個晴晴唔係同我好friend嘅前提之下，

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點解佢會無啦啦應承我呢？

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