I felt like i been through the long 30 yrs of hell walking through darkness never seeing the light of day . I been walking in the dark and that is just what i starting to get use to and that is my normal life it feels like . When there are good days and i feel good it just seems like the walking through darkness finds it and messes with it and it goes right to the darkness. The scarers i have from my for head to my stomach its from a car accident to some kind of surgery and the scares from that will always be present never for gotten . The long memory is always present but its mostly full of bad things that has happen and it makes you wonder if i am cursed I feel like the devil child when i am not i have this to good of heart that is so full of love but it just feels like the darkness is trying to take that over to but i won't let it .
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I Lay here in my bed writing my stories and my thought for the day or what comes in to mind , You try to take steps forward but its like you find your self taking 2 or more steps back and you try to keep walking but its to dark to see and your hoping you wont fall in to any holes along the way . Its like you see light up ahead but its not what your wanting and you keep walking forward and hoping there is something better a head and this goes on for 30 yrs just hoping but here is the thing people don't bother to tell you they don't tell you that people do have heard times and it can be good times to but they don't bother to tell you it can be like this all the time the good can stay or the bad can stay. All i know i feel like i am in a dark house and i am looking for the light switch and i can not find them . but little by little i hope i find the light that will brighten up my life again.
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