I don’t know if you’re going to read this, and maybe part of me is writing it just to survive another night without you. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m not trying to make things worse. I just… I don’t know where else to put all of this except here. I’ve been doing everything I can to distract myself. Sleeping at Maddy’s. Leaving my phone on Do Not Disturb so I don’t check it every five seconds. Telling everyone I’m “fine” when I can barely breathe. But the truth is- I’m not okay. 194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eE7dADOT1
I miss you in a way that makes me feel physically sick sometimes. And lately, the thing that’s been eating me up the most is this fear I can’t shake- that maybe you’ve already moved on. That someone else is already making you smile the way I used to. That she gets to hear your sleepy voice on the phone, or sit next to you in your car while you drive too fast and pretend not to notice how she looks at you. That she gets the version of you I’m still in love with. And I don’t know if it’s true. Maybe you haven’t. Maybe you’re just taking space. But the thought of it? Of someone else being in the spot I still dream about? 194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgkCkpzVZ7
It kills me. Because I haven’t even started to move on. I’ve tried, believe me. I talked to someone new for a little while. He was nice. He was kind. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Every time I looked at him, I was looking for something that reminded me of you. I couldn’t do it. I ended it this morning. Because pretending someone else could fill the space you left in me was a lie I couldn’t keep telling. I still check your name in my pinned conversations. 194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84NFT21AqW
I still wonder what you’re doing. I still catch myself hoping you’re thinking of me- even if it’s just once in a while. I hope that when things are quiet, I slip into your thoughts the way you constantly live in mine. But maybe you’ve already tucked me away. Maybe I’m just a chapter you’ve closed. 194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94o9KuzcYX
And I think what hurts the most is not knowing. Not knowing if you miss me. Not knowing if I ever pop into your mind when you hear one of our songs, or walk past a place we used to go. Not knowing if I meant even half as much to you as you still mean to me. I don’t blame you. I’m not angry. I just… I still love you. And I don’t know how to carry all this love with nowhere to put it. I hope you’re okay. I really do. But I hope- just a little- that it still hurts for you, too.194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEiU1H1U39
194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznpXndR1Se
and then Add to home screen.