I don’t even know how to start this without crying. I’ve written you in my head a hundred times, and somehow every time it still doesn’t feel like enough. There’s just too much I want to say. Too much still sitting in my chest, too much love that didn’t go anywhere- it just stayed. Quiet. Heavy. Real. 210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOLCRcngm3
I still sleep with Spike. You gave him life in a way I didn’t expect. He wasn’t just a cute stuffed animal we tossed on the bed- he was something you cared for. You made him ours. You tucked him in with us. You asked about him. I think you knew how much I needed comfort without having to say it out loud. Now, I keep him close every night. Sometimes I hug him like he’s you. I still whisper to him when it’s late and I miss your voice more than I can take. 210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZCMjOuTeW
I still wear your ring. It’s not fancy. Not some big diamond like I used to dream about. But now? That doesn’t matter to me. Not at all. Because that ring came from you. It came from your hand, your choice, your love. I remember the moment you gave it to me- how I looked at it and saw everything we had, everything we were trying to build. And maybe we didn’t make it as far as we wanted, but that doesn’t make it any less real. I twist it around my finger when I’m anxious, when I think about texting you, when I wonder if you’re thinking about me too.210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDn40IH1zN9
I still wear the necklace you gave me for Christmas. You picked it out for me. Not just as a gift, but as something meaningful. You always had this quiet way of showing love- never flashy or loud, but thoughtful, intentional. That necklace has touched my skin every day since. It’s like a small piece of you pressed to my heart. 210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSkGZUD9yt
And I still wear the bracelets your sister gave me. I don’t think she knows what they meant to me- how being accepted by your family, even a little, made me feel like I belonged somewhere. Like I wasn’t just your girlfriend, but part of your life. A part of you. And even now, when everything’s changed, I keep them close. Because they remind me of the way things used to feel before everything fell apart. 210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtwuB4nJd7
I remember the nights we spent on call for hours- me in bed, you probably gaming or just laying there in the dark. I’d read you my poems, even the ones I thought were stupid, and you’d listen without interrupting. You listened. No one else ever really did that. And then you’d tell me all the thoughts running through your head- about life, existence, humanity, whatever was keeping you up at night. I always loved hearing your philosophies, even if I didn’t always understand them. You made me want to be smarter. You made me feel like my mind mattered. 210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNeJvxMo7U
I remember how we used to drive to that little park near my house in Pottstown after school. We never needed plans. We’d just crawl into the backseat, wrap up in each other, and exist. You’d hold me like I was fragile and important all at once. Those moments felt like our own little world. Nothing outside mattered- not homework, not people, not even time. Just your arms around me and your breath near my ear. That was home. I remember sitting beside you while you gamed, just quietly being there. I wouldn’t say much. You wouldn’t either. But you’d occasionally glance at me, or reach over, or rest your hand on my knee. 210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vkaRKPBFN
I never needed anything more than that. Just being near you was enough. You didn’t have to try. You were already everything I needed. And the names- rat, pig, wet weasel. God, they were horrible, and they were perfect. I don’t think anyone will ever get how sweet it actually felt to hear you say those things in that half-annoyed, half-playful way. You made teasing feel like affection. Like I was yours in a way no one else could ever be. I’d take a million “shut up, rat”s over a fake “I love you” from anyone else. 210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jsrLU8JmF
There were flaws. We both know that. But I wouldn’t erase a single moment. Even the messy ones. Even the ones that left us in tears. Because with you, I felt everything. Deeply. And I’d rather have imperfect love with you than some perfect thing with anyone else. I don’t know if you think about me. I don’t know if you miss me. But I still carry you with me, every single day. You once said I was your voluminous pup. And I still am. Even now, even after everything. I love you, Ian. I really, really do.210Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgoDLwh4i4
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