快閃寫詩：詠一物十行詩 - 【題主的話】寫詩，要有詩度

以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHsCakcNKa

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感謝參與～190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxCD8gzvUj
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7t3dGqigN
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0cn1eIACI
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFb9yKjAAR
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXq59ojXzZ
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XSTYONBir
～～～～分隔線～～～～190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OwfXP6Xpw
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh43V4N8YeF
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr69bcadxF
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpK2X0BFtZP
〈限制和自由〉190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIaQI2PHAC
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO00oBCMjvc
penana.com/article/1024895190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNn39okUOI2
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWM6Eig8p0t
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEFI4lCa8V
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9aO1O7b98
詩度 0。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTJ49OP4hs
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFWScTb4ei
～～～～分隔線～～～～190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjKKQba6K6
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHmKxjOcvO
〈問〉190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNouzF7KLSL
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGGUzHB86m
penana.com/article/1024944190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRoipN956U
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAtS1Fhayc
詩度高一點。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Fkofe5ttP
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKD2q650ztm
～～～～分隔線～～～～190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsF7Os7Ipaj
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkq5AC1BWHK
〈摩天之輪〉190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPycsYteye
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn86E1HwKbX
penana.com/article/1045705190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MCHSsCNdx
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9J7mr71xmi
詩度再高一點。

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtD1vHm2IxP
～～～～分隔線～～～～

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlz9pea2ML
〈蝴蝶酥〉190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmSwSU0yxS
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcrCeifmFI
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiB6rKCJHDR
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7qvSQBZxQ
詩度比前三首都高。

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMerxVnqbdU
～～～～分隔線～～～～

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafzxPttlZM
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38TiyEjsMd
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrSetuJqZz
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHXIIVnVIf
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJLgWoSxLg
跟你分享。

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rgInY2MzF
～～～～分隔線～～～～

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDgHr5LAix
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawTnMuEguX
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRugaurgrU
【認識新詩的基本元素】190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NxwuIW6Bs
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cvqQVkIGK
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dhHJF741r
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUjoorXM8X
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡon4jXHCdlq
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ky7qaX8T5
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpgPoiCsRJ

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sxlIjpZHK

【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGA771cEco

這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRUNIkxiDb
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGExrJTfAN
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImFbKbvswc
190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kMLQS80EG
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN88ImH5g9g

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhspMU4a2t

【這次全新寫的感想】

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sOA2C3SWn

我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqZE2JKnY0

〈詠栗〉

190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYl8BCd1BDp

殼斗，第一層愛

張牙舞爪威嚇

眾鳥獸，為了

豐美的內在