快閃寫詩：詠一物十行詩 - 【題主的話】寫詩，要有詩度

以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。

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感謝參與～147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZTfpHST5m
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkqkNVaAU0
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoR4qLHBTJn
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGA0pyOxbC
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq146dLruT
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～～～～分隔線～～～～147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0emRHezEa
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQM4Z9xVCU
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3gMLO6zcB
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdbx04FS51
〈限制和自由〉147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIsXgxn9t1
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6yLYsxCIC
penana.com/article/1024895147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UwpWcGwEx
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLyHhkUSbZ
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWCdOZvCxW
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpzFPNKbQh
詩度 0。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoawHFaVBOX
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5thgXeFGnG
～～～～分隔線～～～～147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkyOAw8r5N
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〈問〉147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLLejqGaLp
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penana.com/article/1024944147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAcVsZAF1s
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHmRYuAFHh
詩度高一點。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpiOvzhNfe
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeArI6OIJLy
～～～～分隔線～～～～147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BbDaZre4d
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisUqAVlcjl
〈摩天之輪〉147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybOaaCm2nn
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGMa8OFhbV
penana.com/article/1045705147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tNrhQiMAE
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu34u2Z6e1g
詩度再高一點。

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～～～～分隔線～～～～

147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdHh9HyLye
〈蝴蝶酥〉147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGT8DNGDsg
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeTwbi75U5
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyM6J7BZHQB
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtE2KqXIxm
詩度比前三首都高。

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～～～～分隔線～～～～

147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoOTC7kcLr
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZNVnAOz4X
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpKLyJEnxJ
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzdSDyOnTc
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qvteTTgux
跟你分享。

147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUb8Y4OBu6m
～～～～分隔線～～～～

147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoeoMCJsS0
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnB5VV1Zix
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3ltwOJ8zI
【認識新詩的基本元素】147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0i02uiehe
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRezLMhBQI
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpu8lWt4oR
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2lO6JUf6k
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVe9NcrZlG3
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147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVLwUlJDtf

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【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】

147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedb5gExQFZ

這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1w5qntjP5A
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeeGOrk9Lo
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ak9RQhEJS
147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVZpWj4ZBA
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～

147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTKR7Zs62S

147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7S4D3apQL

【這次全新寫的感想】

147Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRq6SfoKGTq

我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：

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〈詠栗〉

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殼斗，第一層愛

張牙舞爪威嚇

眾鳥獸，為了

豐美的內在