快閃寫詩：詠一物十行詩 - 【題主的話】寫詩，要有詩度

以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。

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感謝參與～111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVL58CgO5BG
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老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivz8zTgE57
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雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZzeziftCN
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～～～～分隔線～～～～111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNR9v81sHBU
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我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMxwxmlRTy
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〈限制和自由〉111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVactObAXYm
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penana.com/article/1024895111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZp8d7k2c4
111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthPUWtlcw3
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ge71eabBQ
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詩度 0。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9m8RiSa1RR
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～～～～分隔線～～～～111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91nmNHNrIL
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〈問〉111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyMiK0v1yf
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penana.com/article/1024944111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHg6RCq6vmq
111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFfK11G1ws
詩度高一點。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkWPvUhxK3
111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTH16EfBcKl
～～～～分隔線～～～～111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIZC0qD0vv
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〈摩天之輪〉111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyrrDNjsP9
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penana.com/article/1045705111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqJunL6foG
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詩度再高一點。

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～～～～分隔線～～～～

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〈蝴蝶酥〉111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWgFoJyAXV
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https://www.penana.com/article/1597713111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JhD6s7vWX
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詩度比前三首都高。

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～～～～分隔線～～～～

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我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTyljjnQp0
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我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccOIO2DFdj
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跟你分享。

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～～～～分隔線～～～～

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此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnudKHRin8
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【認識新詩的基本元素】111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtZgcsdHfF
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blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8WNeWVNTC
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我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡschNbu0jp3
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【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJARnjKWXa

這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoP8hB0srSD
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第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlvbR7uTWr
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寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～

111Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmePoZIaRbU

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【這次全新寫的感想】

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我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：

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〈詠栗〉

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殼斗，第一層愛

張牙舞爪威嚇

眾鳥獸，為了

豐美的內在