快閃寫詩：詠一物十行詩 - 【題主的話】寫詩，要有詩度

以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyu0b5LNpy5

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZY9o3OlNf

感謝參與～212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYlHAoWRKG
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMJ26MEuSu
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhqgMalE8m
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTggrERlJ4
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVRIWdOLjD
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQCbvOpTuY
～～～～分隔線～～～～212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3Q3OBqvmk
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonox33dSW7
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzjAlmvSD7
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGy0EnWv9s0
〈限制和自由〉212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonYJkdmswI
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6L9qke6zO
penana.com/article/1024895212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCOiQRTuPM
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6fLJMnHL9
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjbzgcX977
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwqHObYHYl
詩度 0。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57U4QwgTle
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUx2VRCrBBm
～～～～分隔線～～～～212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQomfAYwjU
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMIWIfBG6j
〈問〉212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12wb4UaIoi
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPiXMjdQi5
penana.com/article/1024944212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9iYhLMGRv
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgKmnOny3J
詩度高一點。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnY2HXThoM
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1SU13L7sk
～～～～分隔線～～～～212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGG8fbRJoo2
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoQArBXsFa
〈摩天之輪〉212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0c7DGZ4cH
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DSXV5JGfG
penana.com/article/1045705212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqiGaHMLUu
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1Sz38s0Bp
詩度再高一點。

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEWYU6C2Xj
～～～～分隔線～～～～

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BYEmkkptK
〈蝴蝶酥〉212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnjQovVMTq
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2KSiLz6zr
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rtwzgbgZ5
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlWipxrX3l
詩度比前三首都高。

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6lXSoTjEp
～～～～分隔線～～～～

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMc4nyctqM
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58xbtQ1NkP
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBrHrcmcFZ
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNd7QN8ejMc
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xl4j6fdmw
跟你分享。

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ888Ek4zKjp
～～～～分隔線～～～～

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OCiPta4PM
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5zP41Lax1
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyc9dSLXB54
【認識新詩的基本元素】212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKglPuuetr
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkUPUub5YQ
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuk9pJpoq2
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDO5s5fcyjD
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmSr3IwrJS
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLquR29Gc2y
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXFAQRrDM9

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAROf0fjwTb

【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4O8tQxdQB

這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl90dORNmLE
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQeLuBSHxN
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0NFi3aTEE
212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ba5RtEmo3
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8ynRXgYHR

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZqm8UyLax

【這次全新寫的感想】

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMILd3zVchb

我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXtDqPOEHP

〈詠栗〉

212Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaXmtEchJw

殼斗，第一層愛

張牙舞爪威嚇

眾鳥獸，為了

豐美的內在