快閃寫詩：詠一物十行詩 - 【題主的話】寫詩，要有詩度

以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLcZti103g

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感謝參與～202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqKMxhHR3E
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老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr8qNGIaO4
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUtoZ3CE0b
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWeKZ6OOwe
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0z1tpSorCR
～～～～分隔線～～～～202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNLly4qG40
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLxx3leQCw
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96zidsi8Ct
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz93yJYoeFS
〈限制和自由〉202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8wv5kZF9f
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9fPdzEtFQ
penana.com/article/1024895202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFj2yfSKzp
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAT2SzFKP0
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmp0OrqoGYY
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AUzRIwhBX
詩度 0。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrniKUPUsec
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MTqD3vQSW
～～～～分隔線～～～～202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9Qh55BjFB
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〈問〉202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvk3e356Rwu
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penana.com/article/1024944202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevUvueF6bm
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJERG8CQzg
詩度高一點。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOFEu7WsjI
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlCkrVKoAv
～～～～分隔線～～～～202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUnI1jB13V
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTVYyAbQu2
〈摩天之輪〉202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iVVfKYSlr
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyqMCk2nzm
penana.com/article/1045705202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcxuL1QvaP
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詩度再高一點。

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtEtAWAaan
～～～～分隔線～～～～

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVfy5ExOxw
〈蝴蝶酥〉202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpu8Nftwcg2
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQLZM8Dzy7
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJSeGCzFxJ
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詩度比前三首都高。

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～～～～分隔線～～～～

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUzVOPBAq4
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3Ky90KY0m
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M6bUM6Ldk
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEqgwHDBao
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05L3BUVGG0
跟你分享。

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4vViVaT4Q
～～～～分隔線～～～～

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjOQE7FoaJ
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6i0CBIFw3
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【認識新詩的基本元素】202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MYAYJaQex
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blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHiV1rNPQr
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QA42vXn1I
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TGTntrxf2
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202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JkPEUaDWs

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyTHgMcizO

【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc6rcjKwhk

這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOC1aPCJ86z
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVwS0nBHXu
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYT8HxlNxW5
202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiGyrpcfxp
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasQDXx9kLP

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtNBtyx6kx

【這次全新寫的感想】

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX77M6W6qx

我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePvGnn5c26

〈詠栗〉

202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpf0EddnSt

殼斗，第一層愛

張牙舞爪威嚇

眾鳥獸，為了

豐美的內在