Jesse "The Glitch" Glitchington (Human - Master Swordsman/Technopath) bounced on the balls of his feet, a ridiculously oversized katana strapped to his back. His outfit? A patchwork mess of mismatched fabrics and stolen patches, punctuated by a glowing, self-repairing hole in his chest that seemed to defy the laws of physics (and fashion). “Alright, audience! Let’s get this show on the road! For those of you just tuning in, we’re currently embroiled in a classic ‘good guys versus bad guys’ scenario. Except, you know, way more explosions.” He winked directly at the camera (which, inexplicably, existed within the RWBY universe despite this seemingly being a rather canon-compliant scenario). Beside him, Ruby Rose (Human - Huntress) stared with a mixture of bemusement and exasperation. "Jesse, focus! We need to stop Cinder's latest Grimm-infused weapon before it unleashes chaos upon Vale!" she sighed, adjusting her scythe, Crescent Rose. Her usual energetic demeanor was replaced with a weary patience only someone who constantly dealt with Jesse could muster.119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09fu3l2MLB
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Suddenly, the ground beneath them warped, revealing a swirling vortex of iridescent energy. Out popped a giant, fluffy, rainbow-colored griffin, wearing a tiny top hat and monocle. "Good day, esteemed combatants!" it squawked in a surprisingly refined British accent. "I am Reginald the Third, purveyor of fine teas and unexpected dimensional portals. May I inquire as to the nature of your… predicament?" Jesse, never one to miss an opportunity for self-promotion, dramatically pointed at Cinder's approaching forces. "We're saving the world, Reggie! Big dramatic stuff, you know? Think less 'afternoon tea' and more 'apocalyptic brunch'." Ruby facepalmed. Reginald, seemingly unfazed, offered Jesse a miniature teacup. "Splendid! Perhaps a spot of Earl Grey while we await the inevitable clash? It’s quite soothing." Jesse promptly chugged the entire cup in one go, then burped dramatically, unleashing a cloud of glittery smoke. "Right, action time!"119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0S69SSvAn
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With a battle cry that sounded suspiciously like a distorted record scratch, Jesse charged into the fray, his oversized katana leaving a trail of sparkling, pixelated energy in its wake. His fighting style was a bizarre mix of elegant swordsmanship and chaotic slapstick, somehow managing to both disarm and utterly bewilder Cinder's forces. Ruby, meanwhile, engaged in more traditional combat, her scythe a whirlwind of deadly grace, occasionally pausing to help prevent Jesse from accidentally teleporting himself into a Grimm's stomach or falling into another random portal. The battle ended with a surprisingly anticlimactic whimper, Cinder retreating in utter confusion, leaving behind a trail of bewildered Grimm and a very content Jesse, who gave a final wink to the camera. "And that, my friends, is how we saved the world… again. Don't forget to like and subscribe!" he said before promptly vanishing in a puff of glittery smoke, leaving Ruby to clean up the mess (again).119Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mk3DktlLU
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