好痛。494Please respect copyright.PENANAYnMLUvCDnB
494Please respect copyright.PENANAU5W5tdoqgK
好痛,卻哭不出來。494Please respect copyright.PENANAyUlECq7WFJ
494Please respect copyright.PENANArmHJfCfz3Z
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。494Please respect copyright.PENANADUJv77rxZY
494Please respect copyright.PENANAYXMZaPB7qL
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。494Please respect copyright.PENANAYFhjhiZcQG
494Please respect copyright.PENANA7VgAqxuLbp
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。494Please respect copyright.PENANAGXUuX6AhpI
494Please respect copyright.PENANABDhEBzAwLF
『你現在在哪裡?』494Please respect copyright.PENANA36Kg5qrI71
494Please respect copyright.PENANA44Y4sEaxqz
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。494Please respect copyright.PENANApVKH0GrxaW
494Please respect copyright.PENANARpUYf5nuWs
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。494Please respect copyright.PENANA9EeJX2jSRJ
494Please respect copyright.PENANAwwrnwo6zRs
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。494Please respect copyright.PENANAro3cG2W8pd
494Please respect copyright.PENANAQPGvdmMNOv
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。494Please respect copyright.PENANAdmVLQviOjp
494Please respect copyright.PENANAruoLuORlQj
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。494Please respect copyright.PENANAH3z7navuov
494Please respect copyright.PENANAZmWxF1GU0v
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。494Please respect copyright.PENANAvQmfZvBO0X
494Please respect copyright.PENANAlt42bFF0bY
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。494Please respect copyright.PENANASC5oNHNZNk
494Please respect copyright.PENANAejiACTYesJ
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。494Please respect copyright.PENANAYv9Hg6fY2O
494Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0UTHowzO0
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。494Please respect copyright.PENANAhlmmRCuUng
494Please respect copyright.PENANAIPbi1F3fjs
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽一家人——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。494Please respect copyright.PENANARfQ3MnSAg1
494Please respect copyright.PENANAJZiofUsq8p
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。494Please respect copyright.PENANAzuGxTg89Ms
494Please respect copyright.PENANAKbiUVKrxXo
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。494Please respect copyright.PENANALDV1JiJiqX
494Please respect copyright.PENANAGLPGQ6VALn
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。494Please respect copyright.PENANAtMBNIuuO48
494Please respect copyright.PENANAEgyeK7FiBx
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。494Please respect copyright.PENANArvARtXaVvJ
494Please respect copyright.PENANAP6oxFGYD8M
又是這個奇怪的問題。494Please respect copyright.PENANAdp4QiTpJvV
494Please respect copyright.PENANAAAu7LeLQ2Q
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。494Please respect copyright.PENANAa3AuT2rAeQ
494Please respect copyright.PENANAPl8uBG6bkN
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。494Please respect copyright.PENANAiqD7pDLXtK
494Please respect copyright.PENANAgy8uuq9OZF
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。494Please respect copyright.PENANAnmAzScctia
494Please respect copyright.PENANA9Vi67Si7dZ
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。494Please respect copyright.PENANAmssycX3g5Z
494Please respect copyright.PENANAYrtLCoVXu0
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。494Please respect copyright.PENANA4Us2bdwod2
494Please respect copyright.PENANAvhLSuy23lD
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。494Please respect copyright.PENANADyGFEWgG5p
494Please respect copyright.PENANA6IFxvP7y0Z
高斯死了。494Please respect copyright.PENANAZWkoA1yANy
494Please respect copyright.PENANA8Lmjpt2gJs
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。494Please respect copyright.PENANAWSx5nor6eA
494Please respect copyright.PENANAhwNBXjCuui
『就因為這樣?』494Please respect copyright.PENANA1aA0Fxujrx
494Please respect copyright.PENANAH8HFgOtZwy
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。494Please respect copyright.PENANAKXDsTqtOKp
494Please respect copyright.PENANAlj375RUCZF
我只是覺得她不應該讓自己那麼傷心。494Please respect copyright.PENANAiQruB6AESW
494Please respect copyright.PENANAWmlh8AEtEr
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。494Please respect copyright.PENANAFpOTrO5KqV
494Please respect copyright.PENANAdb0JrCwcWf
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。494Please respect copyright.PENANAD0LTzwIYAs
494Please respect copyright.PENANAmDuwcc7xrO
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。494Please respect copyright.PENANA8MhEjV53AO
494Please respect copyright.PENANAV3kjVEAacn
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。494Please respect copyright.PENANAPqsGKuGZ0z
494Please respect copyright.PENANAnZ6bhqdqmA
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默觀察她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。494Please respect copyright.PENANAGb9w4CEhbz
494Please respect copyright.PENANAfFQSi761JF
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。494Please respect copyright.PENANAl2UwdlUCi7
494Please respect copyright.PENANAV7o1pmKcGr
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。494Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2Ii5gwOgV
494Please respect copyright.PENANAyvQGp4mwKB
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。494Please respect copyright.PENANAYoaEXm85j1
494Please respect copyright.PENANAegaCu5mg9w
艾瑪去世了。494Please respect copyright.PENANAmrK7C2abq8
494Please respect copyright.PENANApem8y3Lyrd
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。494Please respect copyright.PENANAiiMcDjtF98
494Please respect copyright.PENANAryFMZo8bVa
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。494Please respect copyright.PENANAtozt8nzk9j
494Please respect copyright.PENANAXaem860kP2
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。494Please respect copyright.PENANAnuy5bn85LJ
494Please respect copyright.PENANAfy8yvWSIun
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。494Please respect copyright.PENANAH5werdk9hz
494Please respect copyright.PENANAD2S7PpaTBP
她說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。494Please respect copyright.PENANAaAjrQe1kP2
494Please respect copyright.PENANAk238TjVJaF
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。494Please respect copyright.PENANA3XrnWmgIjX
494Please respect copyright.PENANAkHYnyI2r6W
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。494Please respect copyright.PENANARXnzqEqoET
494Please respect copyright.PENANA53j2fmu7O3
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。494Please respect copyright.PENANA3HKmNvgQwn
494Please respect copyright.PENANAS4elq5JhEN
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼註定讓艾瑪流淚。494Please respect copyright.PENANAOa40NGBxqA
494Please respect copyright.PENANAvRe2Pv3Ftq
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。494Please respect copyright.PENANAD4V7sXgL9Z
494Please respect copyright.PENANAdXMM7vqJSJ
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——494Please respect copyright.PENANAqYgY3t3Ays
494Please respect copyright.PENANAA2Gj8IPa1w
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。494Please respect copyright.PENANAYDnBxw7tk3
494Please respect copyright.PENANAokOTwSnBNp
我們一樣痛。494Please respect copyright.PENANAAf6VjRQqg7
494Please respect copyright.PENANAKIMdAbiepE
——我現在在哪裡?494Please respect copyright.PENANAVtY7W8w3Qv
494Please respect copyright.PENANAsSQhgCnDb2
好痛。494Please respect copyright.PENANAJWs4ZPxYj0
494Please respect copyright.PENANAhbkCOwolg5
好痛,卻哭不出來。494Please respect copyright.PENANAuQ16yHWl0K
494Please respect copyright.PENANAu6ClSAKSZM
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。494Please respect copyright.PENANAB0MZ38oNLz
494Please respect copyright.PENANARnuTCw31g1
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。494Please respect copyright.PENANAC0BLV2XtdT
494Please respect copyright.PENANARVSwiwhmO0
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。494Please respect copyright.PENANARJGadlFwjl
494Please respect copyright.PENANAFYkVEhAWgl
好痛,好憤怒。494Please respect copyright.PENANAHVkJZZQwGi
494Please respect copyright.PENANAGWqpLTKfzk
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。494Please respect copyright.PENANAipdsdgDtyE
494Please respect copyright.PENANACAk3zbgFwV
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。494Please respect copyright.PENANAgGPKMMDgGt
494Please respect copyright.PENANACLizW8xs75
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。494Please respect copyright.PENANAq5rO9mcSpz
494Please respect copyright.PENANA8pUhw8QDD6
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。494Please respect copyright.PENANAVRu5wYEcBz
494Please respect copyright.PENANAy2cb3OJaK0
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。494Please respect copyright.PENANAylSQ0K0LOl
494Please respect copyright.PENANAsotKIcDDns
我顫抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。494Please respect copyright.PENANA7ntXS8Uqsa
494Please respect copyright.PENANApnReuwzTV4
我看見通知欄顯示的署名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。494Please respect copyright.PENANA9aa9Wa5zT9
494Please respect copyright.PENANAIOtFuzX0nE
『艾瑪:』494Please respect copyright.PENANAd9grXR7GAf
494Please respect copyright.PENANAfqqCVY5r1S
『來地圖上找我。』494Please respect copyright.PENANAS4tt7iaDQj
494Please respect copyright.PENANAxrviUu5W8z


