好痛。283Please respect copyright.PENANA7XWWTxJWoY
283Please respect copyright.PENANAqFEXXWCnFA
好痛,卻哭不出來。283Please respect copyright.PENANAvQWQNHLuU7
283Please respect copyright.PENANAvwQEcboKum
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。283Please respect copyright.PENANAFCc1v0allv
283Please respect copyright.PENANAZhCtm7uoIV
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。283Please respect copyright.PENANA0C9fnwrFOh
283Please respect copyright.PENANAW7pWwVbcQB
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。283Please respect copyright.PENANA5sdSrOkaMv
283Please respect copyright.PENANA0M6xQM2N38
『你現在在哪裡?』283Please respect copyright.PENANA4zuynLxuVh
283Please respect copyright.PENANANTWbOnGSwi
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。283Please respect copyright.PENANAz7k7iQuKoU
283Please respect copyright.PENANAdw2fdKGs6O
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。283Please respect copyright.PENANA2tIOX71wuY
283Please respect copyright.PENANA6sUoIKLU5I
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。283Please respect copyright.PENANAx1tMyHzcGd
283Please respect copyright.PENANAjWJPNjIxpO
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。283Please respect copyright.PENANA5C1nl9flR2
283Please respect copyright.PENANALQRv4lVvWZ
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。283Please respect copyright.PENANARPzgOHSybR
283Please respect copyright.PENANASfwlSnsh2e
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。283Please respect copyright.PENANAX9GsbNhLvW
283Please respect copyright.PENANA7livnXRqBc
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。283Please respect copyright.PENANA8AFaZLkd34
283Please respect copyright.PENANAarvQDO9Mx1
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。283Please respect copyright.PENANAM9HaAeYnWf
283Please respect copyright.PENANAd0QpswepKs
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。283Please respect copyright.PENANAtYqKj50yc3
283Please respect copyright.PENANA4DclqJ9ash
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。283Please respect copyright.PENANAmYxdnPd7Ri
283Please respect copyright.PENANA9Bk8HgAW3O
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。283Please respect copyright.PENANAc2JmN7Vz8F
283Please respect copyright.PENANAY8KwYhH3Sa
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。283Please respect copyright.PENANAjcnJDEhYJ2
283Please respect copyright.PENANAYEqB50RQHx
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。283Please respect copyright.PENANAmY4pg1dAzK
283Please respect copyright.PENANAB85MXE3mTt
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。283Please respect copyright.PENANAK022JcEz64
283Please respect copyright.PENANAKuOhhrVe9x
又是這個奇怪的問題。283Please respect copyright.PENANAjaKFQo8mnb
283Please respect copyright.PENANAOa0JA80xYR
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。283Please respect copyright.PENANAg6TYeGe4ho
283Please respect copyright.PENANAljd54PJU0v
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。283Please respect copyright.PENANAdIEWUoig3V
283Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5LwgmGjBM
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。283Please respect copyright.PENANA6FrLVKvsNS
283Please respect copyright.PENANAZBcgOD4fqA
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。283Please respect copyright.PENANA0zuCrondto
283Please respect copyright.PENANABqYPkA52yd
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。283Please respect copyright.PENANAzWzPg7M5WV
283Please respect copyright.PENANA40EGedDx6X
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。283Please respect copyright.PENANAUOhsWceaxO
283Please respect copyright.PENANAMIZ6ZjHqz3
高斯死了。283Please respect copyright.PENANADUwqq2UVzz
283Please respect copyright.PENANAb3nNSHWjvA
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。283Please respect copyright.PENANAoP3Na4od52
283Please respect copyright.PENANATsf7DqN85a
『就因為這樣?』283Please respect copyright.PENANAES9RosxakT
283Please respect copyright.PENANAlfPt4qVowP
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。283Please respect copyright.PENANAugzGECnhTB
283Please respect copyright.PENANAymfWl5RcSs
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。283Please respect copyright.PENANAMtxcSVa93j
283Please respect copyright.PENANA1pzPyhbo78
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。283Please respect copyright.PENANA9pOgNhQmMO
283Please respect copyright.PENANAmJdvLKzdg9
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。283Please respect copyright.PENANArVapUMwavh
283Please respect copyright.PENANAxUDIleP8ld
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。283Please respect copyright.PENANAr0r2jxiUtf
283Please respect copyright.PENANAT94yW7rhfv
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。283Please respect copyright.PENANAVJiRKGeH5K
283Please respect copyright.PENANAioJD1ZYZjO
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。283Please respect copyright.PENANAqpR4jVdzb9
283Please respect copyright.PENANArwVtjguYzT
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。283Please respect copyright.PENANARrnGE4cGVW
283Please respect copyright.PENANAkCIGX0sHUb
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。283Please respect copyright.PENANAVmfszIo4Fv
283Please respect copyright.PENANAgAKXh0E8jL
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。283Please respect copyright.PENANAyWcCc4bSq6
283Please respect copyright.PENANAHFW32YYvYA
艾瑪去世了。283Please respect copyright.PENANAsJYItli1j3
283Please respect copyright.PENANAKVySCF0ZOE
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。283Please respect copyright.PENANAQtlRYe9fVX
283Please respect copyright.PENANAOOvuB6e8Jf
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。283Please respect copyright.PENANAkPG6b7ZdcT
283Please respect copyright.PENANAMiDbfumWIY
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。283Please respect copyright.PENANA1C0hRoyJd2
283Please respect copyright.PENANAAvrJGDARCM
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。283Please respect copyright.PENANA5m0pYgilry
283Please respect copyright.PENANARxCYxOyalo
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。283Please respect copyright.PENANAe7YhtWTd10
283Please respect copyright.PENANAfcWnpAeeas
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。283Please respect copyright.PENANAEDJW42YWzq
283Please respect copyright.PENANA5GBgN697aW
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。283Please respect copyright.PENANAseVsErrXCf
283Please respect copyright.PENANAgU9tMG6vJe
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。283Please respect copyright.PENANAe4voauGERD
283Please respect copyright.PENANAACKnFP0HKo
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。283Please respect copyright.PENANAePqbCm1z4V
283Please respect copyright.PENANAFTrkgOzuwz
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。283Please respect copyright.PENANAuGzjTtG4vu
283Please respect copyright.PENANAxFzLEZh36N
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——283Please respect copyright.PENANAKKf9qkAxCH
283Please respect copyright.PENANAnJRUSguYrN
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。283Please respect copyright.PENANAZAYvB4ny17
283Please respect copyright.PENANAnJX7upAxQ8
我們一樣痛。283Please respect copyright.PENANAfhwUFCJb9g
283Please respect copyright.PENANA9tWGLTvy3p
——我現在在哪裡?283Please respect copyright.PENANAXIurEAqdMp
283Please respect copyright.PENANAX0sXBc2s34
好痛。283Please respect copyright.PENANAs55lTxTxip
283Please respect copyright.PENANA90ctkPVsAR
好痛,卻哭不出來。283Please respect copyright.PENANALkMwHTo6zH
283Please respect copyright.PENANAE98aIWLZWo
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。283Please respect copyright.PENANA2R8HzQlffT
283Please respect copyright.PENANAWwO0PtEpxH
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。283Please respect copyright.PENANAxhoGkD1Pcf
283Please respect copyright.PENANAcPhhfAPXlD
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。283Please respect copyright.PENANA1ffml8KVeO
283Please respect copyright.PENANAAVDsIOaokp
好痛,好憤怒。283Please respect copyright.PENANAdBTi11GZDC
283Please respect copyright.PENANAKdGLgmznxt
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。283Please respect copyright.PENANAtg7Dht4kcO
283Please respect copyright.PENANAG1TlJTuGaH
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。283Please respect copyright.PENANA34XfmM4fkJ
283Please respect copyright.PENANAMZoq2KqLzW
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。283Please respect copyright.PENANAT1YWdBYxG2
283Please respect copyright.PENANAf6m3p0smVe
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。283Please respect copyright.PENANAE4ZdPjYEL7
283Please respect copyright.PENANAi6eIKMqCkT
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。283Please respect copyright.PENANA2ubMZxD6pp
283Please respect copyright.PENANAqdAIL6Np51
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。283Please respect copyright.PENANA0toBiNjSt8
283Please respect copyright.PENANAHjIJMWY6iB
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。283Please respect copyright.PENANAgYpE1fkenf
283Please respect copyright.PENANAQzK0hdpbOx
『艾瑪:』283Please respect copyright.PENANAblL3PCXqhK
283Please respect copyright.PENANAgo33MVah9M
『來地圖上找我。』283Please respect copyright.PENANAOjWXdU0YFl
283Please respect copyright.PENANAGE1wt5arnA