好痛。237Please respect copyright.PENANAw2B91Sg9iP
237Please respect copyright.PENANAqugnPMvABd
好痛,卻哭不出來。237Please respect copyright.PENANAUfE6R3za5m
237Please respect copyright.PENANAYK0y3SrElN
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。237Please respect copyright.PENANANJ6pCgxWSK
237Please respect copyright.PENANAd4JY6pm8Sa
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。237Please respect copyright.PENANA8m5WSjceWQ
237Please respect copyright.PENANAQod6Aceexx
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。237Please respect copyright.PENANAISJhHLTDUb
237Please respect copyright.PENANAucVfYYq4He
『你現在在哪裡?』237Please respect copyright.PENANA6oD991SpBV
237Please respect copyright.PENANAigDmnIfzc2
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。237Please respect copyright.PENANAMBtIEUg5xX
237Please respect copyright.PENANA6gz6EBLxCc
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。237Please respect copyright.PENANA2tSvbk7C5z
237Please respect copyright.PENANAm1aznctd5J
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。237Please respect copyright.PENANAznoX1FxJl0
237Please respect copyright.PENANANyWkFTdYb3
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。237Please respect copyright.PENANAzqh7ksG2Em
237Please respect copyright.PENANAgGNslbLXwy
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。237Please respect copyright.PENANAIuWMtl1AFx
237Please respect copyright.PENANAhugUGi9z61
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。237Please respect copyright.PENANARG80vITgMG
237Please respect copyright.PENANAq80CutuMzk
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。237Please respect copyright.PENANAkKQTmF6HbP
237Please respect copyright.PENANAn0RmpW89yo
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。237Please respect copyright.PENANAQBBG2CsCj2
237Please respect copyright.PENANA0MqY2Se85c
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。237Please respect copyright.PENANAomgkhUYtXf
237Please respect copyright.PENANA3zVrWtYPvI
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。237Please respect copyright.PENANArTyhMsuqgJ
237Please respect copyright.PENANAs6k4jfgJCJ
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。237Please respect copyright.PENANA4FL6VjZRVC
237Please respect copyright.PENANAQC9ZG99NXM
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。237Please respect copyright.PENANAJUUNIU9kUk
237Please respect copyright.PENANAgmI4KEw455
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。237Please respect copyright.PENANABGHRSaG4BO
237Please respect copyright.PENANAaDCALwr4bP
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。237Please respect copyright.PENANAoDwXG0LcYS
237Please respect copyright.PENANAfgZRTKzsJF
又是這個奇怪的問題。237Please respect copyright.PENANAs9szf5aiRO
237Please respect copyright.PENANAYOVlDCMC7E
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。237Please respect copyright.PENANAaREsbYKBqQ
237Please respect copyright.PENANAPo981JTX0H
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。237Please respect copyright.PENANAzW5oeKfMxk
237Please respect copyright.PENANAxgNqpwRdIt
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。237Please respect copyright.PENANAtgDHm4S9yR
237Please respect copyright.PENANA1fS3ddoiUN
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。237Please respect copyright.PENANADci6PgDOX1
237Please respect copyright.PENANAa8C3THe9RQ
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。237Please respect copyright.PENANAVa7kbcoAY4
237Please respect copyright.PENANAFYOYniOlG3
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。237Please respect copyright.PENANAHnM9E889LL
237Please respect copyright.PENANAusEiWqeJrl
高斯死了。237Please respect copyright.PENANA1tDj2sutFm
237Please respect copyright.PENANA53fWHnOLk0
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。237Please respect copyright.PENANArenyqfkiGr
237Please respect copyright.PENANA79wIL0qPRn
『就因為這樣?』237Please respect copyright.PENANA14b1QrEDQT
237Please respect copyright.PENANAQbUSIw8gm9
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。237Please respect copyright.PENANAlUKa8O40vl
237Please respect copyright.PENANAs7mxrGwlhc
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。237Please respect copyright.PENANApC48CwfcDu
237Please respect copyright.PENANA4N2zZglORk
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。237Please respect copyright.PENANAkVBXazRCOs
237Please respect copyright.PENANAq7Fai7we7V
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。237Please respect copyright.PENANAerleowLFMt
237Please respect copyright.PENANA8y6m6R5Y8U
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。237Please respect copyright.PENANA9RI07C6kVu
237Please respect copyright.PENANAp3pQVZU1qz
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。237Please respect copyright.PENANAbF6LfZXdSH
237Please respect copyright.PENANA4kyuDt00mU
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。237Please respect copyright.PENANA4Ck1m6zLvI
237Please respect copyright.PENANA9O3K5X4UtH
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。237Please respect copyright.PENANAN4O0CfP3H9
237Please respect copyright.PENANAVE7VIfkwUK
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。237Please respect copyright.PENANARCyITE1GGU
237Please respect copyright.PENANACo9OM1QFZI
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。237Please respect copyright.PENANAzUaFKUOHhP
237Please respect copyright.PENANAemLfvMCBhS
艾瑪去世了。237Please respect copyright.PENANAViXmVzbqsf
237Please respect copyright.PENANANMD1IlI06t
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。237Please respect copyright.PENANAQgNxYVrUid
237Please respect copyright.PENANAX2iSysWT20
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。237Please respect copyright.PENANADt8NJE6Ukw
237Please respect copyright.PENANAXNlOesPCf4
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。237Please respect copyright.PENANAm7MWCjkUWI
237Please respect copyright.PENANAJKBQKEVmYN
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。237Please respect copyright.PENANAXyZkPAVAcK
237Please respect copyright.PENANAkqfQySU6hl
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。237Please respect copyright.PENANA7FniM8d8IL
237Please respect copyright.PENANAK4tyC9a3KP
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。237Please respect copyright.PENANAYVaByW9Rky
237Please respect copyright.PENANAjGTVeBMV8i
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。237Please respect copyright.PENANARyPU7GNMoo
237Please respect copyright.PENANAyayaF882eF
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。237Please respect copyright.PENANAYYOymrvMtv
237Please respect copyright.PENANAq8T7qeq7Tb
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。237Please respect copyright.PENANA4koDsJSi6u
237Please respect copyright.PENANA5UaQ5Do6ei
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。237Please respect copyright.PENANAFXOhYvJJcY
237Please respect copyright.PENANAzevX8uqVjO
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——237Please respect copyright.PENANA0Z5AqmJaFg
237Please respect copyright.PENANAaq56CKCV7m
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。237Please respect copyright.PENANAXbBDbcn5CK
237Please respect copyright.PENANAXMx5qpuQOC
我們一樣痛。237Please respect copyright.PENANAMwYg7Pgyk6
237Please respect copyright.PENANAfprvf5qIEg
——我現在在哪裡?237Please respect copyright.PENANAm2iMnystJk
237Please respect copyright.PENANA7nvsOzytmy
好痛。237Please respect copyright.PENANAFbJKjhykgV
237Please respect copyright.PENANAx98jyKVRwO
好痛,卻哭不出來。237Please respect copyright.PENANA9wFibrP4UG
237Please respect copyright.PENANANIeMF3lpgP
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。237Please respect copyright.PENANABARW4E8xdr
237Please respect copyright.PENANAkFnD2IZFjs
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。237Please respect copyright.PENANA0Z1q4bI0MA
237Please respect copyright.PENANAZujkMJfXGn
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。237Please respect copyright.PENANAWtaAXoIpFt
237Please respect copyright.PENANAVSolak7U1y
好痛,好憤怒。237Please respect copyright.PENANAgdeRoXGiaz
237Please respect copyright.PENANA7bx5vrgcf2
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。237Please respect copyright.PENANAh6eJmsvP8m
237Please respect copyright.PENANADYsWlriBOj
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。237Please respect copyright.PENANAKudUtnXUCt
237Please respect copyright.PENANAwowppCBRVp
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。237Please respect copyright.PENANAUsBKzBs6CN
237Please respect copyright.PENANAMJhwS4NCE0
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。237Please respect copyright.PENANArkCaK74Xdd
237Please respect copyright.PENANARhAbYX1VlJ
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。237Please respect copyright.PENANA8DHjsSVOqN
237Please respect copyright.PENANAn8g2fkaiUc
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。237Please respect copyright.PENANApZ4XxqyB16
237Please respect copyright.PENANAq9iwbtMTDd
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。237Please respect copyright.PENANAxDHblGETdr
237Please respect copyright.PENANAGyjG8dNvFP
『艾瑪:』237Please respect copyright.PENANAI6gyMiTfUz
237Please respect copyright.PENANAFzcbjYNXTk
『來地圖上找我。』237Please respect copyright.PENANAWP9MPXFBCY
237Please respect copyright.PENANA0Cajw2jxwv