好痛。223Please respect copyright.PENANAd1DRAt3V6Z
223Please respect copyright.PENANAhQWSztqE6x
好痛,卻哭不出來。223Please respect copyright.PENANAXFeEhxJhfE
223Please respect copyright.PENANAJU9C17Rpui
眼淚會讓人迷路。自從爸爸離家後,媽媽總是會對我這麼說。223Please respect copyright.PENANAfhdqoqUze9
223Please respect copyright.PENANAKq9owwoF7W
或許是因為如此,我才會忘了怎麼哭泣。223Please respect copyright.PENANAmIHGpRGXaS
223Please respect copyright.PENANAIruuzrNf2D
但,即使哭不出來,國一的那堂體育課,我的膝蓋仍綻開了血淋淋的傷口;而那位名叫艾瑪的同班同學,才會向呆坐在地上的我搭話。223Please respect copyright.PENANAKcBX1P7SX9
223Please respect copyright.PENANAVgUMarojvz
『你現在在哪裡?』223Please respect copyright.PENANAjgG3SJ1ZH4
223Please respect copyright.PENANA5Pz2ElLMYk
說出這句令人摸不著頭緒的話語的,是因為孤僻的個性而在班上被欺負過幾次的陰森少女。223Please respect copyright.PENANAQW50DZnJi2
223Please respect copyright.PENANASHgagKgJ4f
雖然不受歡迎,卻長得很漂亮。墨水似的柔軟黑色長髮、洋娃娃一樣的細緻五官、怕被發現一般的淡淡薰衣草香。223Please respect copyright.PENANAR1wzk7wkSN
223Please respect copyright.PENANA01enUJXkOR
她微微掀起裙角,露出左腳的膝蓋。223Please respect copyright.PENANArmwNGtdqaK
223Please respect copyright.PENANAiIt4DWxOqU
一塊紗布包裹著那裡。223Please respect copyright.PENANA5LGLbOoHdh
223Please respect copyright.PENANAeYFPCG0npx
『我們都在這裡呢,露娜。』她向我微笑。223Please respect copyright.PENANAGYE3opuSM6
223Please respect copyright.PENANAKuoKj7ER27
如此怪異的說話方式,或許就是她會被欺負的原因吧。但我並不介意,因為我想我們在班上都一樣格格不入。223Please respect copyright.PENANAk1ViBFKbqs
223Please respect copyright.PENANAtKZ9zdTYwG
後來,她陪我一起到保健室。看見我沒有像其他同學一樣把她趕走,她似乎很開心。223Please respect copyright.PENANAo1lOELJIDQ
223Please respect copyright.PENANAHUJnEhyp9L
從此以後,她變得只黏在我身邊。223Please respect copyright.PENANAUVCQDLYvrq
223Please respect copyright.PENANABC2QeBolb0
我發現我們有許多相似之處。除了都很安靜以外,我們還喜歡看書,也喜歡畫畫。223Please respect copyright.PENANA3ouIqOuGUa
223Please respect copyright.PENANAJFQo65UKOp
她買了一本筆記本,與我在上課時互傳、輪流塗鴉。我很喜歡艾瑪的塗鴉,她會畫她養的短毛貓高斯,以及她跟姐姐、媽媽——是的,我們都沒有爸爸。高斯這個名字是她姐姐取的,她的姐姐似乎很聰明,在鎮上的大學裡做大腦相關的研究。223Please respect copyright.PENANAKpHZGQgT1a
223Please respect copyright.PENANAp2dKttjFHb
轉眼間,我們就迎來國一升國二的暑假。放假後,我跟艾瑪常去不同地方玩,有時去逛書店,有時去看電影。223Please respect copyright.PENANApKXit1EEKK
223Please respect copyright.PENANAIjvV8OatHo
一次,我們去參觀科博館。那天艾瑪的話突然變得很多,到處向我介紹姐姐告訴過她的知識。223Please respect copyright.PENANArLaCd1kmck
223Please respect copyright.PENANAUSTfJnwIZv
我記得她站在科博館二樓的大腦模型前面,平時暗沉沉的眼睛閃閃發光。223Please respect copyright.PENANAGF0t5SRPXD
223Please respect copyright.PENANAL2B5lMYNTU
『露娜,你現在在哪裡?』她這麼問我。223Please respect copyright.PENANAxDymsXpfSQ
223Please respect copyright.PENANAcWp1r8UhVX
又是這個奇怪的問題。223Please respect copyright.PENANAEBG7LmS8dY
223Please respect copyright.PENANANM94IRk6Yb
她逕自接著說道,人們在某個時刻的思緒和感受,好比位在一張巨大地圖上的一個點;而那張地圖,解釋了我們從何而來,可以往哪裡去。223Please respect copyright.PENANACac0BErXCT
223Please respect copyright.PENANASOPSBKCrY1
可惜,那張地圖不是平的,而是立體的,或4、5,甚至更高次元的,所以科學家暫時還找不到它。若是找到了,人們就能知道怎麼從這件事想到那件事,怎麼從高興走到難過,怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。223Please respect copyright.PENANApzCyzWQOH9
223Please respect copyright.PENANAsE8a2BVphQ
這些都是她姐姐告訴她的。當然,我一點也不知道她在說什麼。223Please respect copyright.PENANAfyFzDjMQTc
223Please respect copyright.PENANAJYwdNp8YmK
開學後,我們又度過了數週平平無奇的學校生活。223Please respect copyright.PENANA5a7IntiP9H
223Please respect copyright.PENANA8VPXiopxnV
上課、塗鴉、放學時一起回家,一切都看似毫無異狀。223Please respect copyright.PENANAOkETUQxAdI
223Please respect copyright.PENANAtB4dbyO7kD
然而,隨著國二的尾聲到來,那件事情發生了。223Please respect copyright.PENANAtoLNK3A2Xg
223Please respect copyright.PENANAzgyINn2Aee
高斯死了。223Please respect copyright.PENANA5rkv6tKhbl
223Please respect copyright.PENANACJvYiYuBOV
這是在艾瑪因為難過而兩個禮拜都沒來學校後,才從她口中得知的事情。223Please respect copyright.PENANAePQ3Emjf0m
223Please respect copyright.PENANAmqO5o3ZZWt
『就因為這樣?』223Please respect copyright.PENANA6o9kb7E25R
223Please respect copyright.PENANAZwzMz1pNgi
那節下課,站在艾瑪的座位前,我脫口而出這句話。223Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3JWRixcIF
223Please respect copyright.PENANAirqBk65az8
我只是覺得她不因該讓自己那麼傷心。223Please respect copyright.PENANADVT6pNa8Ts
223Please respect copyright.PENANAC6JZHcIFqp
因為,眼淚會讓人迷路。223Please respect copyright.PENANAFQ2ZXADyT4
223Please respect copyright.PENANAa7y7WR0OQz
然而,艾瑪似乎無法理解我的意思。直到我看見她的臉垮下來,眼眶裡有淚水在打轉,我才知道我搞砸了。223Please respect copyright.PENANAvr54ly22HD
223Please respect copyright.PENANAWqyAMPawjU
後來,直到放暑假,她都沒有再來學校。我想了想,決定傳訊息向她道歉,但她只回了一次「沒關係」,就再也沒有回過我之後的訊息了。223Please respect copyright.PENANAoa5dMDrEyp
223Please respect copyright.PENANAhg9hWtvggr
暑假過後,三年級的開學日,我再次遇見艾瑪。223Please respect copyright.PENANAu1uPVndyCj
223Please respect copyright.PENANABydZ5jUU3e
她的樣子變得古怪。她的眼神更加沒有生氣、更不愛說話,沒人知道她發生了什麼事。大家都避開她,而我也一直找不到機會跟她搭話,只能默默的觀察著她。那本筆記本上再也沒有新的塗鴉。223Please respect copyright.PENANAOvlPm33wOD
223Please respect copyright.PENANAq5sYSbhXuV
畢業後,我們又恰巧進入同一所高中。她就在我隔壁班。每次我經過,都會看見她一次比一次消瘦。223Please respect copyright.PENANArvIqyBo3Ax
223Please respect copyright.PENANA8fVVksY0lg
不久後,他們班的傳聞就傳到我們班上,說她得了癌症、她被家人虐待、她被附身了。有一次,我在辦公室聽到老師們聊到艾瑪,說她好像去了奇怪的教會。223Please respect copyright.PENANAsB4JVWndlC
223Please respect copyright.PENANAIVkbxdZ1Vh
高二接近尾聲的一日放學,我經過他們班,看到裡面空空如也。在她的座位上,我看見有幾束鮮花和燒過的蠟燭擺在那。223Please respect copyright.PENANAhQBDhRoALp
223Please respect copyright.PENANAwGajyaI3LM
艾瑪去世了。223Please respect copyright.PENANATDKGjj4nNo
223Please respect copyright.PENANAjFCw7rwZFw
她是DMT中毒致死的,DMT是一種毒品的樣子,鎮上的報導是這麼說的。我不知道艾瑪為什麼會吸毒,也不知道她從哪裡弄來這種毒藥。223Please respect copyright.PENANAzPAubdgHCY
223Please respect copyright.PENANAGGRI9fMshB
然而,我告訴自己不能哭,不能迷路。大家都得在自己的路上繼續前進。223Please respect copyright.PENANAPnBC1lh1R8
223Please respect copyright.PENANALrXf4nGSOS
上課、作業、考試,一成不變的生活因此繼續運轉著,隔壁班似乎也一下子就忘了她。223Please respect copyright.PENANAS0CBnZP8Go
223Please respect copyright.PENANAWVSxlGbEHl
但,就在放假前一週的生物課上,老師跟我們分享了一個科學上的新發現。223Please respect copyright.PENANAIxcv9DoT4B
223Please respect copyright.PENANAUE4fr7BYSL
他說科學家發現了一個多達數千億維的空間。這個空間記錄了人類大腦任何可能的思想狀態。科學家稱這個空間「意識宇宙」。223Please respect copyright.PENANA4sJrRm6tdu
223Please respect copyright.PENANASZFRXAd2PB
當下,我想起了去科博館玩的那次,艾瑪所說的那張巨大地圖,還有怎麼從高興走到難過、怎麼從憂鬱走到康復。223Please respect copyright.PENANABKRqD79usl
223Please respect copyright.PENANA7qqSdIrXuz
我感到一陣反胃。在以內急當藉口離開教室後,我跑向廁所。223Please respect copyright.PENANAAuvKUPbcXi
223Please respect copyright.PENANAhGhtDMAbMl
跑著跑著,跟艾瑪有關的回憶不斷湧現。223Please respect copyright.PENANAUgwdVpouuL
223Please respect copyright.PENANAnopkBPy8Td
首先,是我與艾瑪的最後一次對話。那時的我只是希望艾瑪不要因為難過而迷失了,但我現在卻隱約明白,有什麼注定讓艾瑪流淚。223Please respect copyright.PENANA2OjUlCxQup
223Please respect copyright.PENANAKCsbZz2mEy
接著,是我們經歷過的種種。艾瑪和我暑假時常去的書店,艾瑪在筆記本上的塗鴉,還有艾瑪在那堂體育課向我說的那句話。223Please respect copyright.PENANAgQMPp2AgdY
223Please respect copyright.PENANALuFc2SvEPx
我頓時恍然大悟。艾瑪讓我看她膝蓋的傷,並不是想說我們受傷的地方一樣——223Please respect copyright.PENANA0uIM2ZhUE5
223Please respect copyright.PENANAd7h7GyXO61
而是想告訴我,在那張以數億個維度所描繪的地圖上,我們在同一個地方。223Please respect copyright.PENANATa8GOmTeqP
223Please respect copyright.PENANA0uBh45Oy0o
我們一樣痛。223Please respect copyright.PENANAXzJtRupSdV
223Please respect copyright.PENANACWbIVwfwX8
——我現在在哪裡?223Please respect copyright.PENANARzpT5OknJA
223Please respect copyright.PENANAGaYJU42B6D
好痛。223Please respect copyright.PENANACk4uuLVIq5
223Please respect copyright.PENANA832rD7IXFd
好痛,卻哭不出來。223Please respect copyright.PENANAONmA2YPsBx
223Please respect copyright.PENANA2czI1FVNJ2
胸口就像膝蓋那時的傷口一樣刺痛;我停步在走廊上,難受的蹲下。223Please respect copyright.PENANAkWMZUk3f1W
223Please respect copyright.PENANANhdGff5jbG
我好希望當我抬頭時,能看見艾瑪對我微笑。223Please respect copyright.PENANAVf8MnkEzLI
223Please respect copyright.PENANAt9iTCiyCJR
但,倘若她還活著,或許只會回我一句「就因為這樣」。223Please respect copyright.PENANABXbjehPZRU
223Please respect copyright.PENANAdfdzls1N2H
好痛,好憤怒。223Please respect copyright.PENANAXTQU96wU4I
223Please respect copyright.PENANA9A2g7nsI70
艾瑪迷失時,我拋棄了她。223Please respect copyright.PENANAVY6JgCORVv
223Please respect copyright.PENANA3NYODzrXu9
我就這樣放手了,導致了這場悲劇。223Please respect copyright.PENANAoGQrxrmMDS
223Please respect copyright.PENANAeeMSQhzFEN
艾瑪死後,我仍假裝自己沒有迷路。223Please respect copyright.PENANAmjhvkbJHbz
223Please respect copyright.PENANA9wWI3X66Yc
假裝不珍惜她,作為我曾經最好的朋友。223Please respect copyright.PENANAbgQ5ihalR9
223Please respect copyright.PENANAelWV1KhJId
突然,彷彿不留給我任何喘息的餘地一般,我的手機傳來震動。223Please respect copyright.PENANAi0ZJJ5TspY
223Please respect copyright.PENANAvr2H2AEzpG
我懺抖著從口袋中拿出手機,將恍惚的目光投向螢幕。223Please respect copyright.PENANAWEnquzdmt2
223Please respect copyright.PENANAgeb8iGR2RG
我看見通知欄顯示的屬名和訊息內容。一時之間,我所有的思緒都停滯了。223Please respect copyright.PENANA1bz3CdCMXF
223Please respect copyright.PENANAINKVnaJmst
『艾瑪:』223Please respect copyright.PENANAXRkcz6cJQH
223Please respect copyright.PENANAtBmI3wkuzM
『來地圖上找我。』223Please respect copyright.PENANAYMHZu487PN
223Please respect copyright.PENANAchNxHO8xJD