The next day, hellbirds were chirping, which hurt everyone in the hotel who had hangovers. Alastor woke up first, he immediately turned off the music which was still blaring. "Uuuuuugh." Rosie woke up and found herself on the ceiling.
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She grumbled, "Oh not agaaaain..." She frowned.
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Alastor looked up. "How did you get up there?" He wondered.
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She shrugged, "I have NO idea, but I don't really like it."
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"Well at least I've never done something so embarrassing."
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She laughed, "Okay, whatever you say, Alastor."
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He side-eyed her, "What's that supposed to mean?"
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She got down from the ceiling. "You've done things that would ruin your reputation, but luckily, that was back way before, plus no one noticed."
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"I prefer to say before I let anybody notice me." He fixed his messy hair.
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"Well, I'm going to change and look presentable before I go out." She walked upstairs to her room.
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"Good idea." He teleported to his room
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She took a shower and puts on a fresh dress. "Time to go to the shop... bye Alastor, see you later!" She quickly left.
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Alastor went and changed into the same stingy suit. "Bye Rosie, see you in the mere future."
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Lucifer broke into the hotel, disturbing the peace because he's the freaking king and he wants to see his daughter.
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Alastor turned towards the commotion. "Oh of course it's you." he glared.
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"Yeah, hey Albert. Where's Charlie?" he asked and looked around.
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"It's Alastor, and she's out with Vaggie right now." He walked over to Lucifer because of the height difference.
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He slapped his face. "Okay, Esther. Well, I was going to help her with this and move in! I have literally nothing else going on, so I decided to come and help my daughter."
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There was a dramatic silence. "She doesn't really even need you here. You're a pathetic piece of hellish trash that Heaven threw down here."
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Lucifer rolled his eyes, annoyed. "Aggard, you sound like Lilith. Always patronizing me over my height or how I do things, but you will NOT disrespect me in my house!"
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"Isn't this your daughter's hotel? With all due respect that you don't have you hold no authority. Also, your stature makes you look like a balloon" Alastor tilted his head.
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"Yeah, "With all due respect" Alfred. I house these sinners and could wipe them all out. Also, your stature makes you look like a red giraffe." He did the kneecap breaking like how short people do.
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Alastor's eye twitched. "You're as good as remembering names as good as you are keeping woman in your life."
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"Sure Alvin." Lucifer crossed his arms. "At least I have had women besides my DEFINITELY lesbian best friend and my mother, who isn't even in the same realm as me."
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"ALASTOR." His eyes turned into radio dials. "Don't ever mention my mother ever again. I will tear you limb from limb and broadcast your screams for all of hell to hear."
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"Oh! Your name is Alastor?" Lucifer paused "Well, that's nice. Anyways, I need to go and make duck- I mean... kingly things that kings do that are very king-like"
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He sat on the couch and started making ducks. "Don't watch me do my king stuff!"
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"Like cry into your pillow?" Alastor's eyes went back to normal.
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"You'll never have the glory of seeing my pillow!" Lucifer didn't realize how weird that sounded when he said it.
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"Thank God." He gave a BOMBASTIC SIDE-EYE. Lucifer kept making ducks. Alastor kept watching but the suddenly grabbed a duck.
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"You're so nosy! Makes sense. All you nose-havers are all up in everyone's business." Poor nose-less Lucifer. He then realized Alastor had grabbed a duck. "PUT HER- I MEAN IT DOWN!"
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Alastor squeezed the duck. "So it's she then? She doesn't look dainty." He spawned a dress on the duck "Ah much better."
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"Women don't need a dress to be dainty! Lilith wore any sort of clothing and looked like the daintiest being in Hell or Earth!" He started daydreaming because he's a simp.
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"Well yes but Maradith prefers to be fully dressed." He gave the duck a hat.
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"Maradith? Who's that?" He stared at the hat.
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Alastor looked up, slightly embarrassed, "Nothing to worry about your royal shortness." He disappeared with the duck that just got named Maradith.
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Lucifer laughed, "He likes ducks now and I made him like ducks." He did a little short person dance. Alastor was too busy in the radio tower dressing up Maradith to honestly listen but started blasting the duck song on repeat on all the secret radios hidden around the hotel as revenge.
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However, Lucifer enjoyed the song because he loves it. Alastor accidently started playing Cannibal then changes it quickly "Hah fuck."
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"OHHHHH, HE LIKES KESHAAAA!!!!" Lucifer became an ecstatic Kesha fan "ALASTOR LIKES KESHAAAA FINALLYYYYYY!!!!"
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"SHUT UP YOU STEPPING STOOL." Alastor yelled through the radios.
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"YOU CAN STEP ON ME IF YOU PLAY KESHA AGAIN." Lucifer started laughing in short man.
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There was asexual silence, then he turned on American Horror Show. "Like you're the one to talk, King of Ducks." Then he started playing the Bambi soundtrack.
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"Sure Bambi, whatever you need to say."
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"Dwarf." keeps blasting Bambi music
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"Bambiiii."
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He teleported in front of Lucifer with Maradith on his shoulder. "What?"
Lucifer held in laughter from Maradith. "Nothing, I just wanted to have a normal conversation and you're the only one here."
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"If you want a normal face to face conversation, you'll need a ladder." He tilted his head making sure not to knock Maradith off.
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"Pleeeease, I just want to have a better relationship with you, seeing how fond Charlie is of you."
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"Five minutes." He looked down, "You may have five minutes of my time."
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"Fine, well, can we at least sit down?"
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Alastor magically appeared at the bar. "Chère?"
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"I don't speak French or whatever that was." He walked to the bar.
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"It's very simple French, babies can understand it." He fiddles with Maradith's dress
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"Sure, maybe French babies." Lucifer poured his whiskey.
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Alastor asked, "Comment quelqu'un d'aussi âgé que vous ne comprend-il pas le français?" (How does someone as old as you not understand French?)
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Lucifer shrugged, "I just never learned it. I learned a bunch of others, such as Latin and Spanish, but I never got around to learning French."
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"How did you-" He realized "Bâtard sournois." (Sneaky Bastard)
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Lucifer fake gasped. "Whaaaat? What ever could I have done?"
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Alastor flipped him off while he drank whiskey.
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Lucifer sipped whiskey. "Sorry, it's just fun to mess with people and I had no idea how to start a conversation with you."
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"Putain de serpent trompeur-" (Fucking deceitful snake-) Alastor drank more whiskey "Tu es tellement mignon- odieux." (You're so cute- obnoxious.)
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Lucifer choked on his whiskey for a minute before getting his composure back. "Well, what would you like to talk about?"
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"Oh, look at that my radio broadcast is going to start soon." Alastor stood up, "I best be leaving." He teleported away.
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"Oh... bye." Lucifer became a depressed man drinking whiskey while watching Alastor's shadow leave. He cried alone like a Disney princess.
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"This isn't going to end well." He heard Lucifer crying like a Disney princess. "Well." He teleported back to Lucifer.
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Lucifer wiped his tears and hid all evidence of crying. "I thought you had a broadcast."
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"And I thought you had a wife- I mean ahem." He sat down trying to figure out how to comfort him. "May I take back my earlier statement or is it too late for that?"
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He shrugged, "It doesn't matter. It's fine. Why did you come back here?" He sipped more whiskey.
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"Because your mascara is dripping." Alastor chugged a bottle of whiskey because only drunk Al has the power for what he's going to do next.
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Lucifer hit his head on the table. "Whyyyyy?"
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Al handed him waterproof mascara. "This'll help for next time."
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Lucifer took it and put it in his pocket. "Thanks." He then spaced out.
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"Lucifer?" Al was finally not sober after 8 bottles of whiskey. Lucifer has developed a high alcohol tolerance, so he's basically still sobered after 10 bottles.
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"Yeah?" He was still spacing out and staring at the wall.
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"You're cute." Silly drunk Al poked his cheek.
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His brain lagged, then he blushed and made the most confused face at Alastor. "Uh... oh. Uhm... you're cute too, Alastor." Half sober Lucifer poked his cheek back very awkwardly.
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Al grabbed his hand and looks at his wedding ring. "Why'd you still have this Chéri?"
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Luci pulled the hand away because he's awkward and makes a gay hand. "Uhmmmmmmm... unknown reasons. Sentiment at most. Not completely sure why."
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"Seems rather foolish of you, clinging onto what's lost." He did a gay demon hair flip."
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Luci did a single gay man stare. "Yeah... I hate it, but I feel like it would just hurt to get rid of it."
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"It's just like a Band-Aid, the faster you rip it of the less pain you feel." Asexual thought process.
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Lucifer pondered, "Well... perhaps..." He stared at the ring sadly.
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He grabbed another bottle of whiskey and downed it. "Marriages are weird. Why get together if you end up separated in the end?"
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Luci curled up. "Because you feel like that person will always stay with you. No matter what, you feel like they'll always stay by your side and love you all the same no matter what, but if you make one mistake or even if something happens that's out of your control, they could end up leaving and you'd be left heartbroken." He made a VERY sad face.
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He patted his back. "That sounds... painful but when something gets loss you always find something new don't you?"
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"I suppose so." Lucifer looked at the ceiling.
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"J'ai perdu ma liberté, mais je suppose que j'ai gagné de nouveaux compagnons ou plutôt des amis. Et j'ai aussi gagné quelque chose de nouveau." (I lost my freedom, but I guess I gained new companions or rather friends. And I also gained something new.)
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He blinked in French. "Well, I hope you can find freedom again, Al." He sipped more whiskey because alcohol tolerance.
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Al blinked in gay. "Tu es tellement stupide parfois. (You're so stupid sometimes)." He facepalmed.
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Luci blinked in confused French gay. "Sorry? Please explain?" He was sort of hoping he caught on fire.
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He blinked in the frenchiest gay. "Lucifer, je flirte avec toi. (Lucifer, I'm flirting with you.)" He just looked deadpanned.
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Blink blinkity blink blink. "You were? OH. I'm so stupid." He hit his head on the table again.
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Alastor face palmed, "Was it really that bad?"
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Lucifer shook his head. "No, I'm just oblivious and very stupid and awkward."
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"I'm just going to-" Alastor did an awkward drunk stand up and wobbled away from the bar.
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Lucifer blinked. "Well, I just ruined something." He walked up the stairs without any confidence left because he hated himself more.
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Al walked halfway up the stairs before falling over. Lucifer held in his laughter. "Do you need help?" He asked.
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"Maybe." Alastor's deer ears flopped. Lucifer held out his hand to help him up. He begrudgingly accepted and grabbed his hand to stand up. He held his hand totally not gay to help him get up the stairs. Al totally was not gayly leaning on him mostly since wHiSkeY.
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Alastor had a drunk hiccup. "Let me walk myself." He still walking like a baby deer because of the wHiSkeY. Lucifer let go of him and watched him walk. Al ended up falling again.
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"See, you need help." He held out hand and tilted his head.
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He managed to stand up. "No-" He made a radio screech and fell again. "Mimzy would be so disappointed right now."
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"Well, Mimzy doesn't need to know, does she?" He was still holding out a hand.
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Al took his hand again. "You're right, sadly."
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Lucifer pulled him up. "Thank you for being able to admit that." He booped him.
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Blink blink blink. "Did you just-"
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"Nope." He kept trying to lead him.
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Al boops him back. "Revenge."
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Luci gaysped. "That's fair I suppose." He kept leading him.
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Alastor booped him again with an evil grin. "I win."
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Lucifer wrinkled where his nose should be "Hey! I only allow ONE boop." He booped Alastor.
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He booped him again. "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
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Lucifer kept leading him. "Okay, we're not going to take all night trying to win a booping contest." He booped him.
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Al booped him. "Well, I refuse to yield."
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He booped Alastor while leading him. "I swear I will boop your nose until hell collapses."
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He booped him. "Well until then I won't back down."
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"Well, you need sleep and we're at your room, so I win." He booped Al.
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"Fine," he pouted, "but this isn't over."
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Lucifer made the gay hand. "Good night, Alastor." He walked to the other room. Alastor flopped down on the bed and passed out.
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Rosie walked into Alastor's room quietly. She softly whispered, "I was right about how easily you could ruin your reputatatiooooon." She patted his head. "Night, Al." She left peacefully.
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