【校園/日常】杏壇中學眾生相 - [3-2] 班會VS班主任

熟悉的1A教室內，桌子的佈局和平時有些不一樣。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwnk3VDO7M
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有⼀張由數張學⽣桌組成的⼤桌⼦，還有幾個⼈正圍著這張⼤桌⼦戰戰兢兢地坐著，眼⾓不時瞄向敞開著的⼤⾨。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEZrfWuzO2
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「⽼實說，我們甚麼都沒有討論過，⼀會兒要怎樣應付『她』？」134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0thZzuJSC
班會會計余創常一臉嫌棄地說。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMUZw8Qtrf
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「事情發⽣得太突然，這次真的要靠⼤家臨場表現了。」班會主席羅晨西緊盯著大門說。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnYyB4itIi
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班會文書林正君咬著下唇，聲音微微發抖：「臨場表現？你不是在開玩笑吧？」134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhDSWtFKp2
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「噓！」羅晨西聽到門外一絲動靜，連忙示意大家安靜。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2cAr7Y6ne
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「噠、噠、噠⋯⋯」在⼤家不再說話後，⾨外的腳步聲越發明顯。聽到這個有點熟悉的腳步聲，眾⼈⾯⾯相覷。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR27itEJPh8
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「糟了！」羅晨西第一個回過神，意識到大事不妙。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMxaBl3xQ9
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（她來了。）他⽴即狂打眼⾊。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokkbqRd6RS
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（我們待會怎樣也要說⼀些話充場⾯，誰先開始說？）班會的副主席，王欣⾬的⼿在桌上掃了⼀圈。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmny1K7RcIA
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（只能我來了。）羅晨西堅定地點頭。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWA9I88Tjwj
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（好。）王欣⾬⽐了個「ok」的⼿勢。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteB6rnBrbD
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（你們兩個辦事效率也太⾼了吧！）林正君和余創常驚訝地看著這個情景。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rhfPUQeLj
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孫老師一踏進教室，滿臉狐疑地掃視大家，用一貫的壓迫聲音問：「你們剛剛在那邊擠眉弄眼什麼？」134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwHXONVmw7
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「第⼀關⽐想像中的更早來到。」羅晨西不動聲⾊，在腦海中急速搜索着應對之策。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rlmLpW8Mq
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要怎樣才能避免激怒孫⽼師？這是⼀個1A班全體同學正在研究的課題。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwqMZeYm9y
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當中有⼀位同學的筆記本中，就有記載與此相關的資料。按照該同學整理的案例分析，以下三種情況激怒孫⽼師的機會可說是相當⾼。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBalSwqokL
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⼀、作出違反杏壇中學校規的⾏為。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3v4HXDz4X
⼆、在她⼼情不好的時候（可能是⽣理期），嘗試和她理論。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjC61d29yYp
三、不慎應對她提出的問題導致她⼼情變差。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgmgTrTC90
（超過⼀半案例的成因出⾃此列，令⼈遺憾的是，我們未能找到有效的預防⽅法。）134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnhy82lvhE
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順帶一提，開學至今被抓出來罵的同學，比起第一次統計再多出了8人，已經佔到全班的50%。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtlvgDUHhJ
——摘錄⾃該筆記本的總結部分134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVt4Qcs9fF
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以下的這些，就是1A班⾯對的⽇常。

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「叮、噹、叮、噹——叮、噹、叮、噹——」八點整，鐘聲響起，李宜光氣喘吁吁地衝進教室。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9UeQxM6Ez
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「停下來！」孫⽼師的臉上已經⾁眼可⾒地⽣氣。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fFoUNfqws
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李宜光被孫⽼師的⼤聲訓斥嚇得站在原地，不知道該如何是好。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJh2trjmzc
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「出去！」孫老師大喝一聲，接著開始一條條地羅列出罪狀。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9ShhehKvJ
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「第⼀，你沒有敲⾨就進來！」134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR80ucpmB2b
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「第⼆，你為甚麼會遲到？」134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGeCnEmLgk
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「我今天剛好錯過了⼀輛⼩巴。」李宜光如實報告。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02UMj0lLXJ
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「這些不是合理的原因！」孫老師憤怒地大吼著。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvd8MQpV5M
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「不是？是你叫我交代原因的？」李宜光⼼裡腹誹。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhgkqbAKcz
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李宜光在這⼀天深刻體會到這種被針對的感覺，實在是很不好受。

「林正君，為甚麼你的中⽂作業會在我的桌上？」孫⽼師把作業遞給林正君，看上去很平靜。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eYmn0FLQI
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「啊？我昨天⽣病了，所以今早我把作業順便連同請假條⼀起交到你桌上了。」⼀臉無辜的林正君沒察覺到任何異常。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4ngLuNowy
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孫⽼師情緒上的爆發，往往只需要⼀瞬間。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIHUlJzMxB
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「順便？你是在順便個甚麼啦？你真的覺得我是⼀個被你當成順便的⼯具嗎？」孫⽼師就像精神錯亂⼀樣瞬間炸開，抓住⼀個字眼借題發揮。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYYazxfLZW
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被氣勢壓過的林正君，由始⾄終沒有為他⾃⼰抗辯，只是在害怕地抖個不停。

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「有嗎？」⾯對孫⽼師的質疑，余創常第⼀個跳出來裝傻。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7P1iAONMJ
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「不要質疑孫⽼師。」羅晨西⼼中有衝動想掩上余創常的⼝。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWdEm104Zv
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「這就是那個甚麼，最近很流⾏的狼⼈殺！」王欣⾬靈機一動，臨時編了⼀個理由。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AexO22Gte
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「對，其實有同學建議我們班會在旅⾏⽇舉辦狼⼈殺遊戲，所以我們在進⾏著情景模擬。」羅晨西趁機補充上細節，嘗試展⽰班會並⾮對旅⾏⽇毫無準備的假象。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6s0gy6RMl3
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「看來⼤家已經有構思過⼀些旅⾏⽇的活動建議。但你們是打算只預備⼀個活動？」孫⽼師的這個問題，令班會的眾⼈再次感受到她不好打發。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYV2Znc9sYW
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（⼜來了，最討⼈厭的反問句。）王欣⾬⽬光別去了⼀旁。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Pkw93pBWL
（有時候真想衝上去跟她拼了。）余創常表⾯上還是笑嘻嘻的，眼神中潛藏的狠勁⼀閃⽽過。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbRz0l9ZJL
（冷靜點。）羅晨西雙眼微睜。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQXcFt6rLD
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⾒沒有⼈發⾔，孫⽼師⼜留下⼀句：「旅⾏⽇的活動時間可是很⻑的。」134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk334hPy4Yo
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這句話就像⼀道催命符，⼀下貼在⼤家的⼼上。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3iR0UMzvj
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「再不給⼀些回應的話⋯⋯」遲鈍如林正君都讀懂了孫⽼師的⾔外之意。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4ZpCxkz80
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「余創常，請你匯報⼀下班會現在有多少錢。」王欣⾬⼩⼼翼翼地說。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI4Hv2bDBh
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「班會的錢現時有三百三⼗塊。」雖然不明⽩王欣⾬的⽤意，但余創常乖乖地照做。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TcOCKtdnm
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「沒錯，這就是我們班會辦活動的資⾦。」王欣⾬硬著頭⽪說著已知的情報，想要拖延時間。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnFaSN8iEK
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「活動分為了⼤家⼀起進⾏的活動，還有⼤家分開⾃⼰進⾏的活動。」她⼜換上了肯定的語氣，提供了⼀個討論的⽅向。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZdAuQXiCw
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聽到這番話，羅晨西靈光⼀閃。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNqKKQ6wEL
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「其實我們之前有請教過班上其他人，討論全班在旅遊日要做什麼活動，不過目前還沒統一意見。我想最晚後天應該能給您一個答案。」要渡過這個難關，無⾮是要讓孫⽼師認為他們已經做⾜了準備功夫。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFKpOcA91g
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他給的這個答案，相信可以清晰展現出班會有在籌備活動上出過⼒。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSylOakCiGL
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「明⽩了，最晚後天我要有答覆。」似乎被說服的孫⽼師站了起來，起身走向教室大門。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9D1gFD9W9C
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看到孫⽼師要離開，班會的所有⼈都鬆了⼀⼝氣。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkst3susIAW
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站在⾨旁，孫⽼師⼜道：「對了，聖誕聯歡會的活動也是時候要討論了。」134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHXGAMxljW
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「好，我們會盡快討論的了。」羅晨西禮貌地回說。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZS52TCnfyj
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「⼀步、兩步、三步⋯⋯」所有⼈⽬送孫⽼師離開，直到她離開視線範圍。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmkptToC3f
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⽼師⼀離開，所有⼈⾺上把剛才會議中抑壓的盡情宣洩出來。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N3K1q6Abw
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「這麼⼤模⼤樣地召集我們，結果沒兩下就走了。」王欣雨望著門外嘀咕。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5mOCehuYi
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「上課上到⼀半突然叫班會待會兒交待為旅⾏⽇準備過甚麼。接著臨⾛也要加壓，真是服了。」余創常聳聳肩說。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz81lDFLi35
134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYe7siYnmr
134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vlRWIf5hI
「無論如何，我想我們現在最重要還是要想出旅⾏⽇的活動。」林正君生怕老師沒有離開，只敢低聲說話。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpGXpDnPFQ
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134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVOpWLtvnN
王欣⾬看着現在的班會，欣慰地想：「有共同的敵⼈果然會令⼤家更團結。」134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCBTMOMVB7
134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx2t5CiX3Q
134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuwdna6LFR
「後天要給答案的話，現在已經沒時間了。」羅晨西拿出⼿機，在班群打出了向其他⼈求救的信息。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH6pvQz5a9
134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDXdCrlpw9
134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGv12OYvMUL
這次的會議，只是成功拖延了時間。決定⽅案需要時間，讓同學同意⽅案同樣需要時間。這種情況下，可以直接讓所有同學參與討論的班群相信是最優解。134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZ8qxRtkMe
134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxrPoNdcji
134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCemawocG1
「拜託了各位，這次不要再在那邊不認真了。」羅晨西在心裡默念。

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