【校園/日常】杏壇中學眾生相 - [1-1]天才是專業小丑

開學以來過了⼀個星期，班群中各種事的討論熱度絲毫不減。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hmXfhFGJL
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甚至，每天會出現過千條的信息。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5KREc6rYZ
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＋5578 XXXX：數學功課做到哪848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQyvgQ1ZUD
＋6678 XXXX：［狂丟貼圖］848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkibYNDwvq
＋6881 XXXX 移除了＋6678 XXXX848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡez3R0Ih7lK
＋6881 XXXX：好吵喔848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjn1392Flft
＋5578 XXXX：沒人回我哦（攤⼿848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpu4hyriZ7z
＋5937 XXXX：@＋6323 XXXX 你⽤IE？848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRuNkvhkz6
＋5937 XXXX：【讓眾⽣下跪的王者魅⼒！「路西法」7⽉1⽇獸神化解禁】848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsUAWnrFG3
＋6881 XXXX 新增了＋6678 XXXX848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXNOYbqy2i
＋6897 XXXX：你們不要再打了848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPA5qzqzkb
＋6881 XXXX 已將群組名稱從「1A班怪物彈珠同好會」改成「1A（禁⽌洗版）」＋6323 XXXX：其實我開始覺得應該要開discord group848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLG4YCjFYwR
＋6897 XXXX：要打就去練舞室打848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdl88irFKyG
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7IBNT6FX9
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在這段時間內，班級內漸漸出現了幾個團體。最主要有以羅晨西為⾸的男⼦組，以及以Queenie為⾸的⼥⼦組，兩個⼩組間相處融洽，班內氣氛表面和諧。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54z76oop1P
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但因為班內氣氛和諧，同學們在⼤部分的課堂上都會製造出⼤量譟⾳，唯獨上孫⽼師的課時才會安靜，畢竟孫⽼師的罵⼈次數之多，甚至引來同學對此進行統計。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcsULBDHzv
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「根據統計，⾄今為⽌班內有8⼈（佔全班同學的25%）被孫⽼師進⾏過思想教導，當中7⼈（佔整體87.5%）是因為沒帶上課⽤品或是通告，剩下的那1個⼈則是開學第⼀天就遲到。現時因罵⼈⽽損失的教學時間⼤約為33分鐘，佔總上課時間的13.4%，我希望這個數字未來可以呈下降趨勢。」——摘錄⾃該報告

848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwuvUcimbD

848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JabMbyUks
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「這裹⼤家有沒有發現？2加3是5，3加上5是8，接下來⋯⋯」任教數學的陳⽼師，也就是「陳伯」的⼿上拿著紅⾊圓珠筆，在筆記本上留下⼀個⼜⼀個的箭頭。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPOiMxnSPL
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這一切都透過投影屏幕顯⽰給學⽣。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTffsbyUX7D
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkvLnSic4G
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「叮、噹、叮、噹——叮、噹、叮、噹——」下課鈴再⼀次地響起。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMMk4k4CMk
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnQTuwigQs
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyYSBGLfVl
「我不浪費⼤家⼩息時間了，起⽴，各位同學再⾒。」陳⽼師雖然因外貌⽼成被學⽣稱為陳伯，但是平常對學⽣挺好的。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9hzQSQfWS
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQd0EDkizfR
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEEGC7qR7U
「陳⽼師再⾒！」知道可以準時⼩息，學⽣的敬禮也有⼒了幾分。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqATPSuqRmJ
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「這個陳伯，目前還挺正常的啊，很破格嗎？難道迎新日學長說的話有錯？」羅晨西看著陳伯離開的背影，食指摸了摸下巴。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyON5korhSz
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8k25mPUlh
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小息時間開始，班房內馬上亂作一團。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdpw1F5NIY
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有兩個⼈直接用筆袋在教室內玩起傳接球來，正好把封思諭⼿上的歷史課本被⾶來的筆袋打歪了。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdxZXAMbew
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcSDPC7Gsc
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「ADHD出門左轉社工室。」封思諭看似平靜地留下這句話，黑著臉地離開教室，不知道到哪裡去了。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85MS2dmDlV
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「主席，行動開始？」⼀位男同學主動走近了羅晨西，低聲說著。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGq0QjSE93o
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmQa1yajrR
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「『天才』，跟我來。」羅晨西揚了揚手，暗示行動開始。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4TjoVKBBM
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ajIGZcfd2
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看到信號，幾個人從各自的位置冒出跟上他。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0LrsyY9mB
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接下來他們要做的事，和這間學校純樸的校風並不相稱。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpm1oeJzZI
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC2DugR5N7
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現在，幾個人正鬼祟地摸進⼀樓男廁。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsglEBdaha
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEmg8yys2q
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「君子，守住門口。」「天才」指揮著，聲線中透出一絲不正經。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaRiUaV2Zc
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLb152pP7Tt
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他留下林正君在門口，和其他人一起跟著羅晨西走進男廁內部。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIHZZykQPN
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「唉。」林正君似乎有點不情不願。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2Sy0cawIN
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羅晨西拿出手機，撥向了事先存好的外賣電話，再打開免提功能。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BpscRCUnM
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要說為甚麼事情會變成這樣，還得從昨天說起。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWQ3KsRT8c
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xxq943EiG
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXtYL9QhJ4
任教1A班歷史科，被天才叫作『遲放之⿁』的史sir，昨天硬是延遲了⼗五分鐘才肯下課。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDhWhFFhzU
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqNbof0RIR
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⼗五分鐘，可以⾜夠杏壇中學附近所有餐廳由冷清變成爆滿狀態。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Al5E6xmCV
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv13sLKMP30
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當錯失⿈⾦⼗五分鐘的羅晨西等⼈看⾒即使是連⿆當勞中，外帶⾷物的隊伍⼈⿓也排出店外時，他們就只能到⼩賣部買炒麵充飢。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Tqd5tmjjt
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為免悲劇重演，羅晨西召集了好幾位班上的同學加入這次行動。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUno6DDfHIg
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uIMqzazLs
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKiqLkia6t
「喂，這是杏壇中學，要兩個和風牛肉飯，兩個豚骨拉麵，兩杯凍檸水，兩杯凍奶茶。能麻煩十二點四十分送來嗎？」羅晨西開著免提，手機瞟著群組，利落點單。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHGuOkmHqM
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848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvEO88UjQu
這時，一陣電玩音效突然響起。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNotU9P7BP
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8lKCBYls3
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKzq8T7m90
「機神，不要開聲玩怪物彈珠⋯⋯」天才鄙視地看著音源方向說。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xjaYsKjNe
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMY1QXkf9J
「意外。」回答的這位「機神」，聲音就如在公園散步一樣平靜。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNEuiWHxuG
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxW8E5lY0z
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFemNxOXsCC
⾃開學以來，這位天才兒童幫不同人取花名的速度真不是一般的快。他的傑作包括但不限於羅晨西的「主席」和林正君的「君⼦」。

被叫作天才的這位同學膚色是健康的麥色，說話的時候不時環視著圍著他的同學，唇邊總是帶著明顯的笑意，彷彿想引導其他人被自己的發言逗笑。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EXLvVzZsH
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典型的氣氛組。羅晨西在第一天已經為這個人定性。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCobo2L8xG
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVyWJJGTwa
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「是，就是這麼多沒有錯。另外我想問⼀下你們是會送過來學校正⾨是吧？」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCrYBNCIBl
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEogMZX5Qp
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydMFMzCIxW
「好的，沒有問題，再⾒。」他掛斷了電話，⻑舒了⼀⼝氣。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9DosvJ75d
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJajiF3Ndb3
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoRIqHmDkM
羅晨西回頭看著眾⼈，⽰意問題已經解決。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHIy1nWAF3
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENflvTCHET
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtangRkby2K
「班會主席英明。」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkipr3KKQvC
「我們以後就不⽤擔⼼吃不到午餐了！」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7744qCxJt
「如今的我們，即使是⾯對『遲放之⿁』也絲毫不懼！」

眾人笑鬧著附和。

848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCz3Bn7fLzA
天才突然拋出⼀個問題：「我們不⽤幫Queenie她們叫嗎？」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjtvGYTerV
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HojuXQTn1
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聽到這問題的羅晨西在心中冷哼一聲。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13dqcQ2WWM
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1L8vVBdc3
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNz2chjSRuh
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhw2WJIOIG0
要如何維持一個舒適的社交距離，是一門學問。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2y7oWyZevd
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPtQC1NIbQ
太近，自己要付出額外精力不斷應酬。太遠，在和對方再碰上便會顯得尷尬。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMN2nirKGyj
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhw9Q9yIdI
和Queenie她們建立的關係，暫時到這個程度已經足夠。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxcafgdrWb
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzO9xejexq2
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wY9IN5mFY
就在他內心打著小算盤的時候，外面有人已經幫忙回答。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohOKmQUMht
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9m0SB2FSb
「她們已經在Discord回過。而且Discord 是⽤來溝通，不是⽤來刷bot經驗的。」剛才被叫作「機神」的同學在回應他的同時，還不忘偷損⼀下對方在群組的屁孩舉動。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaLE6zsFYt
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrZtcu84kx
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPje8gOtg7v
「錯了，我也是被迫的！你們沒有聽過⼀句話叫『如果故事中出現了⼀把槍，那麼它就應該被發射』嗎？」他開始手忙腳亂地解釋。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkx8SYGBsBA
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848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaubdCcIcyy
「天才兒童？我看是專業小丑。完全不知所云。」羅晨西腦袋轉了一圈，還是不知道這位「天才」想說甚麼，在心中看不起對方。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRC3ANZEYyp
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848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7Fz2j71vn
「那個bot既然有等級功能，那我們就要活⽤它。只有在群組發送信息，我們才能升級，想要快速升級，就唯有瘋狂發送信息。」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDObCMxCAty
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「如果不是我另外開了⼀個刷經驗頻道，我懷疑現在我們discord 群組已經變成第⼆個班群了。」想到班群的亂象，羅晨西也⼀陣後怕。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsQeHuO9jR
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0vVFrp1pP
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「我的洗版是有⽬的性的洗版，和班群中那些沒有意義，為洗版⽽洗版的⾏為完全不同。」天才繼續在發表著他的偉論。848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0twCUVy7M
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說著說著他突然激動起來，右手握成拳頭放在胸前看著其他人，語氣堅定得像是在述說自己的人生信條一樣：「大家有沒有想過，我們經歷的日常，或者在將來的某刻會成為伏筆，這就是契柯夫之槍的真諦啊！」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEQkHTtNIO
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848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGg7CWLGIgo
「你說是就是吧。」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8UiqyBmNG
「你的思路也太跳脫了吧。」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvMNiGlPOB
「你去加⼊杏壇辯論隊吧，它們需要你這樣的『⼈才』。」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjSj5WiChY
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QylquSgUO
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAYQ2oeb49
「正所謂『天才總是被誤解的』，強如梵高也是在死後才成名⋯⋯」848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopJN8bkC1r
848Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7MjRWLg98
被叫作天才的他似乎還想說些甚麼，但眾人早已離開。