Dear Younger me,
Hey!! You are full of life right now, aren't you? You dream of becoming a scientist one day, don't you? You believe in yourself and your potential. You work hard. You cry and get mad when you want to. I am opposite of all what you are. I don't want to become a scientist; I don't want to become anything now, I am not ambitious or hardworking, like you. Life seemed easy when I was you. You are never insecure about those flaws on your face. I got those flaws fixed now I look prettier than you, but why do I not feel pretty anymore?
People made so much fun of our expressive side now I don't express myself at all. You never seem to hate your life; you always have a mindset of trying your best and forget the rest. You enjoy studying but I don't. When studying became a competition in which you always have to be at the top, it became exhausting. You do your best for your paper for yourself, and I do it out of pressure to be on top. You never want to be on top, yet you still are, I always want to be on top, yet I keep failing to do so.
You and I both have our own struggles; you are not as perfect as I am trying to make you, right? We were abused by someone in our family at a very young age, we were touched in a wrong way. You never talk about that. You feel awful about that. You feel like it's your fault, but it isn't, believe me it isn't. You have all the rights to never forgive that person. That person has still not apologized and acts like everything is all right. I have told mom about that; she never took any action against that person. I even once confronted that person about it, you know what that person said? " You enjoyed it too, don't act like a victim!!" How can a child not even 5 years old can enjoy it??? That person acts all mature but is literally the most immature person. 298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLlFhmwRmb
You and your bestfriend touch each other in a way friends shouldn't. You feel awful after doing so, don't you? but you do still do it, the next time. You wonder why you want to do it, even though you don't want to. One day, you will get to know your bestfriend just like you have also been abused by someone. You both are not nymphs; you both are girls exposed to things you both shouldn't have at a young age. I am no more in contact with that friend. But let me till it is not your fault that you feel like that, it is your environment's fault. I know you blame yourself for feeling like that, but it is not your duty to protect yourself, you are just a little girl too.
Mom is seeing a man, you don't like that person, but you never say it. Dad is also seeing some other women; you again hate it. You wonder why your family is like this, mom and dad hate each other, dad swears mom all the time. I wonder how you stay all positive even in this much negativity, but you actually pretend to be positive even though you don't want to, don't you? You never say mom and dad how much you hate all this but when you cry and shout, they think that you are acting like a brat, but they never want to know why you are crying. Mom's behavior towards us have changed a lot to be honest, she loves me more than she loves you. I more become mature and obedient. I try my best to hide my emotions unlike you. I wonder if this is the reason why she likes me more. 298Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXGljep66s
I one day realized that the person I pretend to be is not the same person I am. I feel like if want to be loved and to be cared I have to pretend to be someone else but if I don't, I won't be loved. I am sorry that I didn't become the person you wanted me to be. I hope one day I full fill all the promises I made to you.
Love You,
Your future self
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