Okay, hear me out.
You like bread, yeah?
So, I’m going to assume you like toast.
You like that fluffy, warm bready goodness. You like taking a bite and feeling the slight pressure where your teeth meet and then crunch through.
Delicious. Sensory wonderland.
Now, before you take a bite, you add butter. Real butter. None of this “dairy free/fat free” nonsense. Not for this bread. You use that on the supermarket, everyday kind of bread. The common man bread.
Not this morning. This morning you’ve got bakery flaky, fresh bread. You’ve popped her out of the toaster and you’ve spread the secret, very dairy filled butter. The butter is melting. It’s soaking into the bread for a beautifully clean bite.
But now.
Hear me out.
I want you to pull something out, and I want you to be ready to try for me. Because I know. I’m born and bread (ha, get it?).
Get the vegemite. Get a knife. And dip your knife in there. Dip it like you’re testing the pool water in the middle of winter. Don’t go scooping. Those who scoop need to get either a better instructor or their bloods tested for lunacy.
This isn’t peanut butter, mate. This is a delicacy. Slide that vegemite knife over your melted butter. Thin layer. Thin like a good French crepe.
Good things are sometimes needed in limited amounts. Like red cordial at a kid’s birthday party. You’ve got this, buddy.
Now.
I have two options here.
If you like your salt. If you’re a pickle loving, herring fancying, licorice consuming fellow then take a bite. Delicious. Easy. Enjoy.
But if you like a bit of texture with your bite.
Go to your fridge. Add cheese. Not plastic please, we’re not cavemen at breakfast. That’s for later. It’s only 7am for croc’s sake. But add a slice of cold, craft cheese.
Take a bite, mate.
You’ve earned it.
Disclaimer: This is beginner level vegemite enjoyment. Don’t go thinking you’re a pro, now. You’ve gotta build up that tolerance. Then we’ll have a chat about the mighty vegemite scroll. But that madness is for the lunatics down-under. Let’s not jump into the outback straight away.
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