Fred didn't know how long she'd been on the train for. She vaguely remembered the L.A Train Station, where she said her goodbyes to her parents. The worry had been written clear on their faces. Maybe she should stay home a while longer, her mum had suggested. Fred had shrugged her off. You can come back any time, her dad had promised. She recalled forcing her face into a smile. Then she had stepped on the train, a half-hearted wave her last goodbye. She did not look back again.
She must have stared out the train window the whole ride, since she couldn't remember much else in between. These days it was so hard to get out of her own head. Her thoughts were no longer bright and exciting and full of possibilities. Instead she felt heavy and weighed down, her brain moved sluggishly and her body had followed its lead.
The doctor had called it a depressive episode. Her parents had travelled all the way from Texas to make sure she was okay. They had wanted to take her home. Fred just wanted to escape. To make it all feel like a bad dream.
The train slowed to a stop.
"Sunnydale Station." Came the announcement overhead, barely understandable through the old speakers. Fred didn't hear the rest of the words, no doubt announcing stops further ahead.
She stood, her head spinning slightly and wondered how long she really had been on the train. It had felt like an eternity and a single moment all at once. Time had no meaning to her anymore.
She was staying at the Hyperion Hotel. There was a place in L.A. by a similar name and design, it seemed Fred wasn't the only person in Sunnydale who had moved from Los Angeles. The owner, Mr. Angelus seemed nice enough. The hotel was mostly empty, the old Fred would have been smart enough to think twice about an empty hotel. But it had been a choice out of this place or a spare room in a flat owned by a Professor. Rupert Giles. The ad seemed relatively normal but Fred no longer trusted professor types.
She was shown to her room, and memorised the cracks in the paint on the door instead of looking at the room number.
"If you need anything, ask me or Spike."
She hadn't been paying enough attention to who Spike was. But she nodded anyway, and Mr. Angelus paused a moment before leaving her alone. She didn't look at him as he left, the concern written all over him was clear in the pause of his footsteps down the hall, as if he was about to turn back and check on her. What was worse, the pity of strangers or the pity of her parents?
Her bags lay on her bed unpacked, and instead Fred decided to wander around the town she had decided to escape to. It had been the first place she'd picked out on the map. It was a small town, nothing much happened in small towns. Fred needed the quiet.
There was a supermarket, a few cafes, a few restaurants, an all-ages club, a library, a magic shop. Fred got a coffee to go, then decided to explore the magic shop. It was either that or the library, and these days reading gave her a headache.
The magic shop was all that you'd expect from such a place. Crystals, spell books, random artefacts. The blonde girl at the counter waved excitedly at Fred. Fred forced a smile in return.
Fred admired the crystals, carefully reading each label. Fred knew logically that they didn't work, but at this point was willing to try anything.
"Do you need any help?" The counter girl asked, rather too perkily for Fred's liking. It was only then that Fred realised the shop was empty. The girl must have been bored out of her mind.
Fred went to shake her head, but, through her haze of brain fog, saw the look of desperation on the blonde's face. Fred even made an effort to read the girl's nametag. Anya. That was her name.
Fred nodded slowly, then spoke for what felt like the first time since L.A. Surely she'd spoken at the hotel, to Mr. Angelus? Hadn't she? "I- It feels so silly now, but, I was looking for a crystal that..." She trailed off, her courage spluttering out. "Its silly."
Anya's enthusiasm didn't waver. In fact she didn't pay much heed to Fred's discomfort. "Well, we've got crystals for sleep, and crystals for energy, crystals for brainpower-"
"That brainpower one might help." Fred said slowly. "Have you got any crystals for... happiness?"
Anya paused then, finally taking a good long look at Fred. Well that was just great. Even someone with clearly no people skills could see Fred was struggling.
Fred tuned out as Anya began to babble again. She didn't want to hear the pity in her voice. A pile of crystals accumulated in her hand as Anya passed them to her. She bought them all.
"Have a nice day." Anya said as Fred left, in an obviously practiced cheery voice.
Fred bought two minute noodles from the supermarket before returning to her room at the hotel. She ate dinner alone. At one point she could've sworn she heard footsteps near her door but she didn't bother going to check.
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