No Plagiarism!g8pAKsOVg6AotGFPbFvAposted on PENANA 曾幾何時,Zoey(助手)向我分享了一個笑話,我至今仍清晰記得。我自問是個認真死板的人,也是個很無聊的人,對笑話沒有半點興趣,但只有這個笑話令我印象深刻。8964 copyright protection103PENANAjTTwMrrpYd 維尼
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Zoey是個健談、自認為幽默的人,與我的性格南轅北轍。但我那時律師樓剛開張,加上她又精明能幹,只能讓她擔任我的秘書。老實說,我很不擅長應付她這種人,很多時候想自己一個人靜靜,無奈她是資歷豐富且最能配合我工作風格的人,我只能忍受她的喋喋不休。8964 copyright protection103PENANAYwOu8OqQDV 維尼
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「鄭生,您常常叫員工幫您買燒賣,是喜歡吃街頭小食嗎?」8964 copyright protection103PENANAGIec5PoXFe 維尼
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「呃…不是,只是我兒子喜歡吃…可以不要談與工作無關的事嗎?為什麼又會突然扯到『燒賣』?」我一邊處理堆積如山的文件,一邊反了她一個白眼。8964 copyright protection103PENANAGZ1sPhTXtC 維尼
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「噢,對不起。只是想起鄭生您常常買燒賣,有點好奇。說到『街頭小食』,鄭生您有沒有聽過『魚蛋理論』?」8964 copyright protection103PENANAw0fVsexY1P 維尼
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Zoey總會在工作期間打開話匣子,不自覺地愈說愈起勁,話題扯來扯去。在這種時候,我總會刻意保持沈默,讓她覺得尷尬,就會重新投入工作。8964 copyright protection103PENANADGYW3EgzVg 維尼
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但這一次我實在按捺不住好奇心,困惑地問:「什麼鬼『魚蛋理論』?是最近學術研究提出的新理論嗎?名字也真夠稀奇古怪⋯⋯」8964 copyright protection103PENANAXnGNy1UeVJ 維尼
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Zoey笑了出聲:「不是啦。鄭生,您沒有去聽過棟篤笑嗎?這已經是好幾年前的笑話了。」8964 copyright protection103PENANAClUVRzJac9 維尼
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我一臉無趣的說:「我有聽說過,但不會聽這些無聊、低俗的表演。要笑我自己不會在家『哈哈哈』的笑嗎?需要特意花錢讓人逗自己笑?所以那個『魚蛋理論』究竟是什麼?」8964 copyright protection103PENANAX4KhZIwlTD 維尼
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「如果鄭生您在買串魚蛋時和旁邊的人付同樣價錢,但那人拿到的魚蛋卻比您多兩粒,您會有什麼反應?」8964 copyright protection103PENANAgFgaSUrArd 維尼
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「我會質問老闆為何會如此不公平,並要求他把那人額外的兩粒魚蛋拿走。」8964 copyright protection103PENANA0AHfNx6uIe 維尼
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Zoey嘴角上揚,繼續說:「那如果您那串魚蛋沒有甜醬,而那人的那串魚蛋卻有甜醬,您又會怎樣做?」8964 copyright protection103PENANAnt6Xxt0xfz 維尼
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「我會叫老闆給那人換一串沒有甜醬的魚蛋,以示公平。」我掌握不到Zoey想表達的重點,只能配合她回答。8964 copyright protection103PENANAeGTxfp4Y4W 維尼
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Zoey哈哈大笑,用搞笑的口吻說:「鄭生,如果您真的想要公平,為何不要求老闆也給自己加兩粒魚蛋,偏要大家都少兩粒?為何不要求老闆給您加甜醬,偏要大家都沒有甜醬?」8964 copyright protection103PENANAjl2Jsf8Yhf 維尼
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Zoey的話語點醒了我,我有點無語。為什麼我的第一反應是希望大家一同感到不快而非一同感受歡樂?我心中的公平是大家應該平等地受一樣的苦嗎?是希望災厄能平等地降臨在每個人的頭上?8964 copyright protection103PENANAbW6Z2bnlgb 維尼
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Zoey補充說:「即使鄭生您和那人的魚蛋一樣,沒有額外兩粒也沒有甜醬,但只要那人吃得特別開心,而您卻悶悶不樂,有可能您心底仍會感到不公平和不甘。」8964 copyright protection103PENANA8LeHoXt3Sg 維尼
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我保持沉默,因為我也是這樣認為。8964 copyright protection103PENANAdtN5h7KcJx 維尼
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「可能這是我們作為香港人、又或是人類本身所持有的劣根性。在看到別人快樂時,我們心中會有所不甘,會試圖把別人拖入名為『不幸』的泥沼,一起受苦。魚蛋,要大家都食得好仆街,這樣才是真正的公平。」Zoey為這個笑話作了個總結。8964 copyright protection103PENANAlcfJEiNe5q 維尼
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……這是什麼爛笑話,一點也不好笑。我納悶的想著。可能是笑話本身不好笑,又或是Zoey表達笑話的方式有待改善(我覺得應該是後者)。但這笑話仍烙印在我的腦海。8964 copyright protection103PENANA0YXb9tUKve 維尼
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我為什麼會這樣對待有傑?會否是因為我心底裏藏有某種不甘、不忿?我的靈魂深處是否曾經這樣咆哮:8964 copyright protection103PENANAqa9M9oddEy 維尼
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—憑什麼我要過一個悲慘的童年,而你作為我的兒子,卻能有一個愉快美滿的童年?不公平!8964 copyright protection103PENANA2Sl6E7klKX 維尼
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所以我為了「公平」,就奪走有傑那粒名為「美好童年」的魚蛋、弄走那些名為「漫畫」和「玩偶」的甜醬,讓他過一個苦澀的童年。8964 copyright protection103PENANAe6M4YKTObg 維尼
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或許沒有這麼複雜,我大抵只是看不慣別人有我沒有的東西、快樂。畢竟我虧欠的並非只有有傑,還有Heidi。我看不慣Heidi能有個幸福美滿的婚姻,因為我從未體驗過父母和諧相處、一家其樂融融的情景。於是,我不忿妳能體會我未曾體會過的愉悅,對妳拳打腳踢,打到嘴角破皮。妳嘆了口氣:「為什麼非要搞成這樣?」8964 copyright protection103PENANAsaVOwgIqir 維尼
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—為什麼非要搞成這樣?8964 copyright protection103PENANArjFQtoi2m0 維尼
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我也不知道為什麼會搞成這樣……只要情緒激動,手就會不自覺打在妻兒的臉頰上,連我自己都感嘆為何要下這麼重的手。8964 copyright protection103PENANA0HHpFzpdVL 維尼
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如今,在我身邊已沒有妻兒相伴,只有非親非故的人(Zoey)照顧我。為什麼非要搞成這樣?全是我自己害的,不是嗎?住院期間無事可做,我唯有在心中不斷埋怨、詛咒自己來消磨時間。8964 copyright protection103PENANA0INfjGuweH 維尼
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