[Darkness.]
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0R01orH9t
[Brightness. White hospital light. A generic student accommodation. ROXIE sits at the generic table in the corner of a generic kitchen. She is listless.]275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNx2tmKheIk
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7MyoGdI81
ROXIE:275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeeA6LPxmm
I am new here. Hallo. My name is Roxie. I only came out a few months ago so maybe I should also say that my name before was Rian. My dad is a counsellor and he says that I should tell people what my old name was so that they can know me better.
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXGrTtVLsF
But I bet that's bullshit. Anyway. Here I am. Here is me. There are three stools in this kitchen for the three of us who will live in this apartment here. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMU7nLHrAA
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQm6lHxlBk
But none others have yet arrived so, yeah, just, me. But that's okay. I can be my own best entertainer. The girlie I met in the train told me that if my family don't support me, then I must leave them and the friends I make here will become my new family. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANhupeTYvg
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXKFlXrb1N
That's true enough I suppose. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TSBA4XA9L
[ROXIE stands up from the table and walks over to the kitchen window and stares out of it to the other blank, generic accommodations across the road. She is, again, listless to the most extreme.]
ROXIE:
This isn't who I thought I would turn out to be...
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9osv8xYnF7
But who do I talk to? Why speak aloud?275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgLHAKFFBT
Pause.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyklPauDaU
But of course I know why. I do. I do. I do. The longer that the echo between speech lasts the more I am forced to sit and listen. So I must get it all out. Every bit of it, however ugly. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0w5FPeWzz1
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63lOnkLobt
But it's still hard, you know? Just because my dad's a psychotherapist and I understand what I am to do, it doesn't make it any easier. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCEvVekcra
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMvIceQ0gd
But I will try. Because, frankly, what else is there to do?275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJOgQy31yg
Pause.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSVTWezN3T
I started watching porn videos when I was twelve years old. Was it then or when I don't know that I became an addict. When did it switch from a once to a constant. It was an echo-chamber of madness and dark intentions. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLkhiw5iU8
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSsra8VCJe
Sometimes I wonder if my own mental state now is a result of that. I wonder if I'm all wrong. I wonder if this is normal, to be doubting your own existence. I wonder if this is all just an after effect of my own upbringing. I wonder a lot of things.
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaIsu65Ena
Because, perhaps, yeah, perhaps I am real. And I am me. And perhaps I can trust my head and perhaps I can safely say, Yes. I am me. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsor9UBby8c
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjGQEVeIRj
But I can't just make all of those other thoughts go away at once. How could I? I'm not a superhero...275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6J1SrB1bD
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLy6FyjxYoV
Or would it be a super-heroine? 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRlT8VMemN
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqS5VQkSNQD
I'm kind of comfortable with all the really awful feminine stereotypes. Dumb blondes, bimbos, damsels and dames. It doesn't really bother me. If anything, it makes me feel better that I might not over act. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaS5rlKFG9A
Pause.275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nhyScZ1gl
"Act" It isn't acting as a woman. I am a woman and I am me and I know I must be. What I meant was when I am in public and trying to pass as cis. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22e0L4W0CN
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvHt29ydVl
[During this pause, ROXIE turns away from the window and makes her way over to the fridge. It is dull and generic. She goes to open it, stops herself, and then opens it.]275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5HPjtFWe8
ROXIE:
But the night will soon be over, thank God. And I will soon lose consciousness. I will soon lose all ability to think and overthink about all my shortcomings and long stretches alone. I look forward to sleep. I look forward to when everything is set in stone, when it's all black and white, when I'm no longer an addict, when I don't get hungover and have a license and can stay within my waist goals and everything is perfect. But until then. I must sleep.
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKeJhi68Hx
[During the pause, ROXIE gradually sinks down onto floor and curls into a ball.]275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY8AsdpldR
Pause. 275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksZRGg84yD
[Darkness.]275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCe27G4ZFeE
然後按「加至主畫面」