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Oceanic
ISSUE #31
Author: 雨燃
Oceanic
Author: 雨燃
ISSUE #31
31 愛是甚麼
No Plagiarism!mO9EL5EUF1i62DorhTDIposted on PＥNAＮＡ

  白初年只把曾落言送到了樓下，就看見了她的爺爺。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLJW4qKkFi

「誒，傘拿去傘拿去！」老人說。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSb5YFODZhx

白初年知道自己確實需要雨傘，便沒有推脫，道了謝。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDYD7MXrdx

靈感來得突然，白初年幾乎是小跑着回住處，鎖住房門，抓過紙筆，「唰唰」就開始畫。

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一畫就是兩個小時。

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這大概是他最快交稿的一次。

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320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGyKB4Afew

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jDYd3JYq9

  興許是畫的太投入，白初年久違地想起了些往事－－關於父親，關於母親。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszSFN3Mv7Q

是不大愉快的回憶，因此白初年其實不樂意深究，但總有些硌人的碎片會不講道理地反覆跳彈。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4d3HKFGXr

雨好吵，別想了吧，別想了吧。白初年默念道，可是沒有用，他甚至覺得越來越窒息了。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlB3NKWsRak

悲傷在抽絲剝繭，然後再緩慢地抽離。心臟好像被掏空了，可是還是會痛。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMsyxZuKe4

好奇怪，明明沒有東西了，為甚麼還是會痛？明明疼痛啊，為甚麼卻哭不出來？白初年想不通。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡez6qybIyxG

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFTweq2fT1

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRWuxbXzUw

  雨下了多久，白初年就躺了多久，醒來時滿腦子仍是夢中的紅色雨傘。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBdfcQepIA

他撿起幾個捲散的草稿紙團，扔到垃圾桶去。垃圾桶滿了，他便包起垃圾袋，去倒垃圾。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisS2PU7xtm

他推開房門，客廳如他預料中昏暗。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHALREl8Dl6

－－這是張鋒夜不歸宿的第十四天。白初年幾乎能肯定，張鋒談戀愛了。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqEzGNiI1c

白初年忽然強烈地意識到身邊大多數的人都戀愛了的事實，而他現在及以後都會是個怪胎。沒辦法，戀愛對他來說實在是太遙遠的事。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfRdAYqF7v

他沒有辦法想像自己全心全意去愛一個人，以及被一個人愛着的樣子。對他而言，「愛」是太沉重的詞，太炙熱，也太晦暗。更重要的是，愛往往轉瞬即逝，可是他無法接受沒有穩定性的愛，他想要永遠的、堅定不移的那種愛，就好像太陽每早都會升起那樣，守恆的愛。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgvzQeyRXa

他深知那是很難得的，畢竟愛本來就是不講道理又難有依據的東西，僅憑着人類的心臟躍動。說到底愛從何而來，往哪兒去，又該如何定義？愛是喜歡，亦或是恨？是罪，亦或是光？是黑暗，亦或是清晨？還是其實它甚麼都是，甚麼都不是？

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRCY2N1D3A

白初年想了想，心說：又或者愛其實不過是一些荒謬的瞬間。

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－－就像有時候突然有那麼一個瞬間，覺得陽光很好，於是想去愛這個世界，可不過片刻以後，卻就又不這麼想了。

320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbQYcQ2eLQ

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Oceanic
Romance
Slash
Last updated: Jun 1, 2026
Total word count: 41,268
Total reading time: 138 Minutes
Writer:
雨燃
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