Lucia—
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCjBZFNLU3
"You know, you should talk to him," Priest Dixon says, placing a plate of three-staked pancakes, eggs, bacon, and a half-empty bottle of syrup before me.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunnDSxSEN0
I pick up the fork on the side of the plate and scrap at the top of the pancake while leaning on my left palm. "I know, but I just...never get the chance to."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oukmpmWBM
"Lucia, you had the chance to yesterday and you avoided him."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGy7IkzYtI
"I didn't avoid him." I shrug, playing with an oddly shaped bacon on the side of my plate with my fork.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdiVqFlDr3
I glance up at him when he doesn't respond to find his eyebrows raised and his head cocked to the side as if he's asking "Really?"
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4v6Fn6P8M8
I glance around the room before putting the fork on the plate and pushing the plate toward him. "I'm not hungry."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIWIyeZ2lj
"Why not?" He asks, still facing the sink as he rinses off the skillet.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlS906t2PWO
I shrug. "I'm not hungry."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTVyyoKw4v
He doesn't respond. He just wipes the water off the pan with a paper towel and puts it back in the second cupboard below the sink. He wipes his hand on the paper towel and then trashes the paper towel before reaching over the counter to pull my arms from their crisscrossed position.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMhejFw3ow
I try not to cringe at his now pruney hands as they cover mine.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZqvt2JgpO
"Don't think I was stupid for not asking you what you ate yesterday like I usually do even though I know you ate nothing yesterday."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOfZVj8lOd
I chew on the inside of my cheek and become fixated on his collar.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPPgxXoOvb
"Or did you?"
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEPz2EKF81
Now he's just taunting me; he knows I didn't.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUw1kpnGgFJ
I don't respond. I just continue chewing on the inside of my cheek, still keeping my eyes fixated on his collar.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4GQNCAr2a
"That's what I thought," he says.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltCm7U0J2Z
"So, why aren't you hungry?" He asks.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7es8lxiaaz
I wince quietly and dig my chin deeper into my chest.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CCuGlp3lz
"Don't you dare feel ashamed. Tell him."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazP3NBDmww
It feels wrong to say, but most importantly, it feels wrong to be doing it.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKLheSDmID
"I'm...fasting." I chew on my lips so hard, I'm surprised that I don't draw blood.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqgnfBSDcj
I glance up at him when he doesn't respond, and he's just staring at me with emotions that aren't negative but I can't pinpoint what they are and I'm not sure I like them.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMEpZc3WnV
He's not disappointed. That should be a relief, but why does it still feel like I inhaled pepper?
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93epMd4Gxk
I scrunch my nose to remove the peppery sensation when he asks, "Why?"
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr1QltrXW3
I freeze. It feels like someone's drenched cold water on me.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0pVb5XP6b
I shrug and bite my cheek, subtly shaking my head.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOnLh7mS71
Why am I fasting?
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBUcjycN7w
"Because you should. You heard the sermon on sacrifice through fasting. This is the only way to please God. If you don't abstain from food, how will you crucify your flesh."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSH2P7jw3J
My heart thuds.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkCnPBcc1A
Right. I swallow, trying to get over the harsh tone of the voice in my head.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kZxNgBuhH
"Lucia." Priest Dixon softly squeezes my hands. "Look at me."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNXjQsWsE1
I reluctantly peek at him from under my eyelashes.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUYh1h1MGn
"Is it for the same reason? Are you trying to please Him again?"
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvB6QhNTND
Yes.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWL12F6kDSG
I shrug and then shift in my seat. This feels weird; the feeling in me every time 'fasting' or the reason I'm fasting is brought up feels weird. It feels like I'm under the scrutinizing gaze of an investigator.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeFq0ftwH4
He lets my hands go and then double-taps the counter, "I won't force you to eat if you choose to continue your fast, but please try and cut back on the fastings."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPoKprnD71
I can't.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocLWIfu9HE
"You're hurting yourself," he says, before turning to finish washing the dishes.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYALtQMyUc
My heart skips a beat.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJLYcP33lG
I'm hurting myself. Then, maybe I should...
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jCTnhURrb
"No. You can't stop. Imagine what He'll say, or even do."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51ail4sMpA
My heart clenches as the familiar image of a menacing manly figure looming over me with nothing but anger in his eyes clouds my mind.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfghzzIo2lx
But...
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfFMBbnfFT
I tug once at my right thumb and bite hard on my lips as a crease forms between my brows.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrCaskiGz1
Should I?
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsVJmgsUmO
"No."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuhe0JjqqZ
My heart thuds and the peppery sensation in my nose returns as I hesitantly drag the plate to me.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ehomFodVp
I try to turn off the red alarms in my mind as my right hand hovers over the fork before lifting it off the plate.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4HA2RCJcb
I let out a shaky breath before digging the fork into the bacon, tearing off a piece, and then lifting it to my lips. I stare at the piece of bacon and my toes curl in my Converse sneakers and my mouth suddenly tastes tart. I force the bacon into my mouth, ignoring the pounding going on in my chest and the screams thrown at me from the voice.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Y7FWE0dmD
My grip on the fork hardens as I try to swallow it. My insides churn as I cut off some pancakes. Then swallow. Then take another bite. And another. And another till half of the food on the plate is gone.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblRdaRlvPn
I glance up at Priest Dixon to find him beaming at me.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd13ReBhIzD
"You've made Him angry."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkntRAYnSYT
I swallow, trying to move past the concave feeling in my chest. I try to return his smile with a closed-lip smile.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiOujdt9aX
"Here." He hands me a glass of water. "You did great! Hurry. You're already late for work."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡra6zqb29PC
Right. I stare at the glass of water and wonder if I should drink it. If it'll make God mad too.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRtigSk1ej
I chew on the inside of my cheek as I grab the glass and gently down the water, trying to ignore the feeling around me that makes me wish I'd shrink.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdCjBh8v8R
"Silas." Priest Dixon calls with a strange tone of concern and panic.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYImWwR4CUg
My head whips toward the door more because of the name than the tone of Priest Dixon's voice, causing water to trickle down my chin.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EEGD5TwPp
He's here!
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZIm44ExZM
My heart starts to jump until I notice his wheezing form leaning against the door frame, causing me to suck in a sharp breath. I let my eyes roam over the grimace on his face, the crease of his eyebrows, and the bits of beaded sweat between them.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneVei5qxV2
A wince escapes his lips every other second.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswQ6vgXO4H
My eyes travel to his left hand clutching below his rib and I spot a sharp tear in his black shirt and a huge crimson stain coating his hands; it's...still...fresh.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyofcDCxV7w
I leap out of my seat to rush to him, but Priest Dixon beats me to it, so I just stand by the edge of the counter, realizing that I wouldn't have been able to do anything considering we were still...fighting?
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvAgWysZfM
I bite my lower lip as my eyes run over his face and I notice the black eye under his right eye; it's faded. I also notice the small cut on his upper lip. I let my eyes roam his face before locking on his eyes. His stare hardens, matching the intensity of a glare.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLkAPsMzaC
I inhale sharply. I'm not wanted here.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneAcp74gZp
Right.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKa8bi6XhI
I dart glances around the room before grabbing my bag from the chair behind me and heading for the door. My heart pounds harder with each step I take closer to him as I try to avoid his stare, well, glare.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPs8HEutkh
"I'm leaving." I try to ignore the grey eyes boring into me as I stand a couple of inches behind Priest Dixon.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDQMVMoQZl
"Okay. I'll try to fix him up," He pauses as he puts Silas's left arm around his neck, causing Silas to wince.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGPSV1dpLz
His tone sounds assuring. I don't know why. Silas and I aren't anything.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATQYscOYRB
I try to move past the thought and avoid looking at Silas as Priest Dixon carries him past me and the smell of cedar engulfs me.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrf54bPsnt
I make the mistake of glancing behind me when I catch his somewhat softened eyes on me with a mix of what looks like regret in them, causing me to quickly avert my eyes.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscTz5lxsp1
***
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq6ySf1UuT
"Hey, Cici."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZOMoKw72J
My heart flutters at the nickname but then thuds at the familiar sound of a noisy bar.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQ14YjP6cm
I thought she quit alcohol. I knew it was too good to be true.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmAPw0zXU6
I set my art book and pencil beside me on the floor, straightening up to hear what she'd say.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopNFtEhtiV
"I'm going to be home late tonight," she screams into the phone.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcYqSVENyj
I can tell, but at least she sounds sober.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORSARKdZyG
"Hmm" is all I say.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6i5SFMJzN
"I thought you weren't drinking anymore?" I ask her, trying not to sound judgmental.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMc2rjbhDK
"My friends decided to celebrate after finding out I joined a recovery center," she says. "Don't worry, I won't have much to drink."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfcbZjBxQr
I bite my lower lip, not liking the term 'much' before saying, "Okay. Just be careful."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KgQi8SMYR
"I will, sweetie." She sounds excited, and it's making me nervous.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEf5uMbqzPp
"Come on, Amy!" I hear someone exclaim on her end.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32A4yiS4Qv
"I'm coming. I'm talking to my daughter." She screams back, causing me to pull each side of my headphones away from my ears.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglMtAlbeJp
"Well, sweetie, you heard, I gotta go-
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcwcXw6G0W
"Wait. Mom." I call before she hangs up. "The rent is due soon, and I was wondering..."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYfUebDysW
Well, I was wondering, since she's sober now, if she can pay for the rent, and I can save up for my Florence trip instead.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiYfD3TX4A
"I was wondering if you could handle it." I chew on the inside of my cheek, hoping she'd pay this time instead of...
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFUMiPpXt3
"Sorry. Not this time, sweetie. My salary is short, but things will change."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxNFADUHtT
I try not to bang my head against the wall I'm leaning on as I hear the all-too-familiar excuse of her salary "being short." However, I'm unsure how I feel about this promise of "change."; she is still at the bar after all.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wdNc6Yr3V
"Bye, sweetie."
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCGtT782I9
"Bye," I mutter, staring at my screen.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRL4yhqGza
"Yo Lucia! Chips refill in aisle 5." Margaret juts her thumb behind her before disappearing the same way she came.
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzw1CQL3nd
I sigh, wishing my lunch breaks were longer.
ns216.73.216.239da2
然後按「加至主畫面」