（寫於2016年10月6日，也是我的二十六歲生日正日）97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGMh9nO0vM
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbpe8In7oh
Dreaming about the things that we could be97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciSwHMruO5
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuAfmsoenn
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQCM8Gf7bh
Yeah, we’ll be counting stars97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT21a5mZ94x近來，我睡得愈來愈少97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJM1awPSfOV
總是夢想我們可能成為的人97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYHuyIa5TC
但，寶貝啊，我也很努力的在禱告97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8klkJOXp48
祈禱我們不用再數算金錢，而是在數算星星97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqPdy9qAr5
對，我們要數星星
今日，我26歲了。
26年前早上9時，母親剖腹生產。聯合醫院產房醫生和護士就如工廠的熟練技工一樣，把我從充滿羊水的子宮中拿出，過程快速利索。剖腹是事前預約好的，動刀程序是標準的，一些都在計劃之中。
同期，有一宗震撼世界的新聞，是世界始料未及的。
1989年6月4日，北京血流成河，肝腦塗地的是莘莘學子的屍體，急忙逃離中國國境的是記者，連關員都催促記者趕快帶著真相離開，將這件事象徵中國政治氣候急遽收緊的凶訊公諸於世。
距離九七移交，還有七八年的時間。
在我仍然慒懂無知的幼年時期，香港就在恐共與仇共的情緒之下，無奈地迎向這無法逃避的命運。
年歲稍長，中國於我還只是個模糊的概念，但在社會化和大眾媒體渲染的過程下，我知道了自己是香港人，也沾染了香港人比大陸人優越的意識。
記得中學時期曾讀過呂中文集，有一位中六七的Prefect 師姐寫過一篇文章，說自己以身為中國人為榮，並在聽到同學拒絕承認自己身為中國人而感到憤怒。當時我並未有太大感觸，只是覺得對文章內容不敢苟同。
03年，沙士。
自回歸以來，香港人從未試過如此害怕疫症，也從未試過如此團結。謝婉雯醫生的殉職，一方面令香港人恐懼，另一方面也令香港人重新思考人生中真正重要的事物為何。這一條寶貴的性命刺激人們的反思，說不定比後來的雷曼債劵和歐債危機更多也更深刻。
「我實實在在的告訴你們，一粒麥子不落在地裡死了，仍舊是一粒，若是死了，就結出許多子粒來。」－《約翰福音》12:24
03年時，我只是中二生。沙士於我而言，除了是一個新聞事件，就是一個四週的假期。當年的中學生，擔心會考高考和上大學還比較多。
I see this life like a swinging vine,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ511zRfvBrr
Swing my heart across the line97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlU2Kba57bn
In my face is flashing signs,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUQG5azuta
Seek it out and ye shall find.我看這種人生就像在搖擺的籐枝，97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmmbHuhkbK
讓我的心也想要過界，97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLRBR0ya0U
在我面前就是閃亮的招牌：97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60z7vvOAwZ
「尋求它就必得著」
就在會考與高考期間，老師和媒體都如此灌輸我們：你們要上大學，在公開試考個好成績就可以！要成功而圓滿的人生，就一定要讀好書，將來找一份好工作！
我們當時如此聽信，也努力的準備考試。
高考過後，各人入讀不同的大學，社會就開始傳出大學生貶值的新聞。畢業生月入愈來愈低，內地生來港得到的資源似乎愈來多，我們本地香港人卻漸漸地被邊緣化。
我們感覺被騙了。
Old but I’m not that old97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJWiAsxeMr
Young but I’m not that bold97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Q1BBuGedv
And I don’t think the world is sold97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9usVnNLGZ
I’m just doing what we’re told年長，但不年老；97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dy3UQ4gLn
年輕，但不輕狂。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fDsdmHNGv
我不覺世界都能用作買賣，97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxESMbvKCp
我只是跟著世界對我們說的去做
2012年，國民教育令全城熱鬧哄哄，「黃之鋒」和「學民思潮」成為關鍵字。
港英時代的去政治化教育，來到這年反而引發了泛政治化的社會風潮。不知何故，我心中想起了另一段聖經經文：
「你們不要想我來是叫地上太平；我來並不是叫地上太平，乃是叫地上動刀兵。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXl0K83jdaP
因為我來是叫人與父親生疏，女兒與母親生疏，媳婦與婆婆生疏。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IS6vVAJ4G
人的仇敵就是自己家裏的人。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeD7QbJoKJv
愛父母過於愛我的，不配作我的門徒；愛兒女過於愛我的，不配作我的門徒；97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqv9KcpCEl
不背著他的十字架跟從我的，也不配作我的門徒。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzkKtZBDw3
得著生命的，將要失喪生命；為我失喪生命的，將要得著生命。」－《馬太福音》10:34-37
終於，來到2014年的雨傘運動。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPBlFyevn7
於我而言，這是香港歴史的轉捩點。這是公民覺醒的事件，是撕裂社會和教會的時刻，也是香港人不能不正視社會不義的關鍵事件。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bE6ldYI1f
在我人生最後一個暑假，進入了解放軍駐港部隊的新圍軍營，學到了步操、軍體拳和榮譽感。本應將我教育成愛國愛港畢業生的軍訓，劫吊詭地教會了我以身為香港人為榮。
在我遊走佔領區時，看到金鍾夏愨村的公民教室、露天補習室、連儂牆、公共漂書櫃，各式街頭雨傘藝術品，放在政府總部公廁內的各種洗髮水、牙膏和女性用品，這些種種都反映了我們身為香港人的公民素質。打從出生以來，我的這份香港人身份榮譽感從未如此高漲過。
I I I I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iEC1LiOnz
And I I I I feel something so wrong by doing the right thing在做「錯」事時，我我我我居然感到如此正確；97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MnaOC8Zxw
在做「正確」之事時，我我我我居然又感到如此錯誤I could lie, couldn’t I, couldn’t I?97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyc9iQMN1Mj
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.其實我可以說謊騙自己，對罷？對罷？97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEjQXWnLGh
但會害死我的東西卻令我感到活著！
好些前輩如程翔、劉進圖和刑福增等都是（或曾經是）「大中華膠」，擁護中國和她的歴史和文化等等。作為六四後出生一代，我無法明白那種對中國的美好嚮往，但至少對「文化中國」不感到強烈抗拒。然而若論到「政治中國」，恐怕除了社會上的少數權貴階級，就沒有多少人會由衷喜歡。
政治中國令我對中國人身份引以為恥，所以我寧可說「華人」也不願說出「中國人」三字。
是掙扎，也是呼召
處身歴史的洪流中，掙扎是如此真實，生命的重量也是幾近不能承受。
除了時政，物欲橫流、紙醉金迷的消費主義，幻變的職場，可望不可即的樓價，人世間的聚合散離等等，無一不是拉扯著我們的生命，甚至扯得支離破碎。
在這破碎而迷失的世代中，世界對我們的呼聲始終不減。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSrymDKH9G
梁家麟院長在《關於基督徒，我們說的是⋯》一書中推薦序中，寫道：「每一代都要有人起來宣告耶穌是主」，但也嚴嚴的澄清有些責任只能由這一代自己負責。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf3MtLk4ps
I feel her love97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJXt6ZMxNR
And I feel it burn down this river every time97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoXQJ9qCjd
Hope is our four-letter word, make that money watch it burn我感受到她的愛，97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KIy6bqq5W
我每次都感受到它會燒掉這道洪流；97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLaXPzcdag
「希望」是我們的字詞，賺了的錢又眼巴巴看著錢燒掉
我們這一代，看得見希望嗎？在這彎曲悖謬的世代，我們知道自己當行之事為何嗎？
我們這一代，知道我們要負起的責任是甚麼嗎？
身為基督門徒，我思想基督在十架上的垂死景象：雙手被釘在十架上不能動彈，每吸一口氣都痛不欲生，身上連一塊遮羞布都沒有，是完全赤身在公眾眼前的全然軟弱。面對幻變人生的我們，也能在衪身上看到自己面對幻變人生的真實本我：軟弱、受限，對一切世事都沒有多少能力去操控。
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaoncToiqd
Dreaming about the things that we could be97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMl6RpheSn
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlNOU2Hsqu
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5DMA0vuak
Yeah, we’ll be counting stars近來，我睡得愈來愈少97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5F6iKkWAnG
總是夢想我們可能成為的人97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ716ZXv6wQL
但，寶貝啊，我也很努力的在禱告97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWd8UGJ83OV
祈禱我們不用再數算金錢，而是在數算星星97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQt6SraNbA
對，我們要數星星
誠然，我們已經過了可以悠閒數算星星的階段。
但，也不要只顧著數算自己口袋有多少錢。
要記住我們當行之事。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTr1CHBBuug
是的，要緊記我們的責任。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwP9yYG4Mtl
ns18.119.172.58da2“Counting Stars” by OneRepublic97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvceJ8a1E6W
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcyjtzgss4
Dreaming about the things that we could be97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEvvjGchqW
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbu9j6FTxJZ
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1NU7nobOX
Yeah, we’ll be counting starsI see this life like a swinging vine,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkbX1CX0SF
Swing my heart across the line97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tvHpveW0k
In my face is flashing signs,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfsnIu7B68
Seek it out and ye shall find.Old but I’m not that old97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz0DhT3dp0
Young but I’m not that bold97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiP45pW2vt
And I don’t think the world is sold97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllO8Q8BMwS
I’m just doing what we’re toldI I I I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqlPlajZYr
And I I I I feel something so wrong by doing the right thingI could lie, couldn’t I, couldn’t I?97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdRx11AChD
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSaPFd2VZp
Dreaming about the things that we could be97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUGseYgUs0
Baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGfoqxbejY
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJZL9ubLnM
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wfnDYZmSI
Dreaming about the things that we could be97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ehps3PRK7
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7OSmpvWYg
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be-we’ll be counting starsYe-e-yeah
I feel her love97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDx9i981hN
And I feel it burn down this river every time97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBccXhenWT
Hope is our four-letter word, make that money watch it burnOld but, I’m not that old97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ453SeAHYpm
Young, but I’m not that bold97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu23ZEQ6gVW
And I don’t think the world is sold97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FAVLM9WG5
I’m just doing what we’re toldAnd I I I I feel something so wrong by doing the right thing97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcp70hRzsKy
I could lie, couldn’t I, couldn’t I?97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ200JSa9hBc
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna flyLately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrY2ZlISt4
Dreaming about the things that we could be97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pz7urv9GW
Baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbCaprWsn3
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz46MpSAg3P
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30Pj6mL3t9
Dreaming about the things that we could be97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK69QYMl4SP
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnepvBVky6
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be-we’ll be counting starsOh, take that money watch it burn,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0QyXIKQZr
Sing in the river the lessons I learned97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCMLZ0AF55
Take that money watch it burn,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡba5xYEL3Ng
Sing in the river the lessons I learned97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0HgYZEzAs
Take that money watch it burn,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFMi2IMuiq
Sing in the river the lessons I learned97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EPNdnCicL
Take that money watch it burn,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnkSAXyxvt
Sing in the river the lessons I learnedEverything that kills me makes me feel alive97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhbugThOLQ
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnCjtpDnFC
Dreaming about the things that we could be97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhkjM5SfjL
Baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoEfCJ1fLR
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9n6SI9AAF
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BKMMvqyOZ
Dreaming about the things that we could be97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQWzuUgQyf
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCugbvfOR2u
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be-we’ll be counting starsTake that money watch it burn,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHT63YHCkN
Sing in the river the lessons I learned97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQ17UR6Asj
Take that money watch it burn,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUq1iLtXJh7
Sing in the river the lessons I learned97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCf8NftJVa
Take that money watch it burn,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51S5X13FXP
Sing in the river the lessons I learned97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeTjY0zKkU
Take that money watch it burn,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgIWHVFSOA
Sing in the river the lessons I learned97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPRTaf34FX
然後按「加至主畫面」