（寫於2016年10月6日，也是我的二十六歲生日正日）122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR98b8DvgNp
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxLBTpMqrj
Dreaming about the things that we could be122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQlYn6dYXJ
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7ZvO51KGT
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYyNdLenVF
Yeah, we’ll be counting stars122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWK0UIWMmfe近來，我睡得愈來愈少122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfLEkRvBY1
總是夢想我們可能成為的人122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4pblLW1l9
但，寶貝啊，我也很努力的在禱告122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas4O8RfRf4
祈禱我們不用再數算金錢，而是在數算星星122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mtcOlnc9d
對，我們要數星星
今日，我26歲了。
26年前早上9時，母親剖腹生產。聯合醫院產房醫生和護士就如工廠的熟練技工一樣，把我從充滿羊水的子宮中拿出，過程快速利索。剖腹是事前預約好的，動刀程序是標準的，一些都在計劃之中。
同期，有一宗震撼世界的新聞，是世界始料未及的。
1989年6月4日，北京血流成河，肝腦塗地的是莘莘學子的屍體，急忙逃離中國國境的是記者，連關員都催促記者趕快帶著真相離開，將這件事象徵中國政治氣候急遽收緊的凶訊公諸於世。
距離九七移交，還有七八年的時間。
在我仍然慒懂無知的幼年時期，香港就在恐共與仇共的情緒之下，無奈地迎向這無法逃避的命運。
年歲稍長，中國於我還只是個模糊的概念，但在社會化和大眾媒體渲染的過程下，我知道了自己是香港人，也沾染了香港人比大陸人優越的意識。
記得中學時期曾讀過呂中文集，有一位中六七的Prefect 師姐寫過一篇文章，說自己以身為中國人為榮，並在聽到同學拒絕承認自己身為中國人而感到憤怒。當時我並未有太大感觸，只是覺得對文章內容不敢苟同。
03年，沙士。
自回歸以來，香港人從未試過如此害怕疫症，也從未試過如此團結。謝婉雯醫生的殉職，一方面令香港人恐懼，另一方面也令香港人重新思考人生中真正重要的事物為何。這一條寶貴的性命刺激人們的反思，說不定比後來的雷曼債劵和歐債危機更多也更深刻。
「我實實在在的告訴你們，一粒麥子不落在地裡死了，仍舊是一粒，若是死了，就結出許多子粒來。」－《約翰福音》12:24
03年時，我只是中二生。沙士於我而言，除了是一個新聞事件，就是一個四週的假期。當年的中學生，擔心會考高考和上大學還比較多。
I see this life like a swinging vine,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Gcvw9es5I
Swing my heart across the line122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1PWp5PjcI
In my face is flashing signs,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnX2FrbpSjp
Seek it out and ye shall find.我看這種人生就像在搖擺的籐枝，122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVZDARSjeE
讓我的心也想要過界，122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpo4I9Uln8
在我面前就是閃亮的招牌：122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaf35db0Fw
「尋求它就必得著」
就在會考與高考期間，老師和媒體都如此灌輸我們：你們要上大學，在公開試考個好成績就可以！要成功而圓滿的人生，就一定要讀好書，將來找一份好工作！
我們當時如此聽信，也努力的準備考試。
高考過後，各人入讀不同的大學，社會就開始傳出大學生貶值的新聞。畢業生月入愈來愈低，內地生來港得到的資源似乎愈來多，我們本地香港人卻漸漸地被邊緣化。
我們感覺被騙了。
Old but I’m not that old122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIJhtsWFce
Young but I’m not that bold122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVtvjmvget
And I don’t think the world is sold122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNQby6V4gK
I’m just doing what we’re told年長，但不年老；122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ516GODQJq2
年輕，但不輕狂。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQu8SNbHiN
我不覺世界都能用作買賣，122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbME4tT8Tz
我只是跟著世界對我們說的去做
2012年，國民教育令全城熱鬧哄哄，「黃之鋒」和「學民思潮」成為關鍵字。
港英時代的去政治化教育，來到這年反而引發了泛政治化的社會風潮。不知何故，我心中想起了另一段聖經經文：
「你們不要想我來是叫地上太平；我來並不是叫地上太平，乃是叫地上動刀兵。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXg7yJY7YFg
因為我來是叫人與父親生疏，女兒與母親生疏，媳婦與婆婆生疏。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEKRGHNDi0
人的仇敵就是自己家裏的人。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUquIGtwhy
愛父母過於愛我的，不配作我的門徒；愛兒女過於愛我的，不配作我的門徒；122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuPjiFRQnJ
不背著他的十字架跟從我的，也不配作我的門徒。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8gc3UB46W
得著生命的，將要失喪生命；為我失喪生命的，將要得著生命。」－《馬太福音》10:34-37
終於，來到2014年的雨傘運動。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIp3gFOBNzZ
於我而言，這是香港歴史的轉捩點。這是公民覺醒的事件，是撕裂社會和教會的時刻，也是香港人不能不正視社會不義的關鍵事件。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0l4m8ekgvw
在我人生最後一個暑假，進入了解放軍駐港部隊的新圍軍營，學到了步操、軍體拳和榮譽感。本應將我教育成愛國愛港畢業生的軍訓，劫吊詭地教會了我以身為香港人為榮。
在我遊走佔領區時，看到金鍾夏愨村的公民教室、露天補習室、連儂牆、公共漂書櫃，各式街頭雨傘藝術品，放在政府總部公廁內的各種洗髮水、牙膏和女性用品，這些種種都反映了我們身為香港人的公民素質。打從出生以來，我的這份香港人身份榮譽感從未如此高漲過。
I I I I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzscA7hIH6Y
And I I I I feel something so wrong by doing the right thing在做「錯」事時，我我我我居然感到如此正確；122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWWUnDBsfe
在做「正確」之事時，我我我我居然又感到如此錯誤I could lie, couldn’t I, couldn’t I?122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KjJnjzOXb
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.其實我可以說謊騙自己，對罷？對罷？122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVfvpv3mXm
但會害死我的東西卻令我感到活著！
好些前輩如程翔、劉進圖和刑福增等都是（或曾經是）「大中華膠」，擁護中國和她的歴史和文化等等。作為六四後出生一代，我無法明白那種對中國的美好嚮往，但至少對「文化中國」不感到強烈抗拒。然而若論到「政治中國」，恐怕除了社會上的少數權貴階級，就沒有多少人會由衷喜歡。
政治中國令我對中國人身份引以為恥，所以我寧可說「華人」也不願說出「中國人」三字。
是掙扎，也是呼召
處身歴史的洪流中，掙扎是如此真實，生命的重量也是幾近不能承受。
除了時政，物欲橫流、紙醉金迷的消費主義，幻變的職場，可望不可即的樓價，人世間的聚合散離等等，無一不是拉扯著我們的生命，甚至扯得支離破碎。
在這破碎而迷失的世代中，世界對我們的呼聲始終不減。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhItmEiPh2Q
梁家麟院長在《關於基督徒，我們說的是⋯》一書中推薦序中，寫道：「每一代都要有人起來宣告耶穌是主」，但也嚴嚴的澄清有些責任只能由這一代自己負責。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehCXtbB4Mu
I feel her love122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Ebh5hfw3r
And I feel it burn down this river every time122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnetVqIEfDz
Hope is our four-letter word, make that money watch it burn我感受到她的愛，122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSloIWwXARq
我每次都感受到它會燒掉這道洪流；122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstRb8tlfs2
「希望」是我們的字詞，賺了的錢又眼巴巴看著錢燒掉
我們這一代，看得見希望嗎？在這彎曲悖謬的世代，我們知道自己當行之事為何嗎？
我們這一代，知道我們要負起的責任是甚麼嗎？
身為基督門徒，我思想基督在十架上的垂死景象：雙手被釘在十架上不能動彈，每吸一口氣都痛不欲生，身上連一塊遮羞布都沒有，是完全赤身在公眾眼前的全然軟弱。面對幻變人生的我們，也能在衪身上看到自己面對幻變人生的真實本我：軟弱、受限，對一切世事都沒有多少能力去操控。
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLMPDJiWsy
Dreaming about the things that we could be122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BiReOCDtj
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmcu06UDVl
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JXZ8F4CMY
Yeah, we’ll be counting stars近來，我睡得愈來愈少122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCLjRHPND5
總是夢想我們可能成為的人122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAcdC5muyS
但，寶貝啊，我也很努力的在禱告122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLKuFvQrTG
祈禱我們不用再數算金錢，而是在數算星星122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEtRUok8XX
對，我們要數星星
誠然，我們已經過了可以悠閒數算星星的階段。
但，也不要只顧著數算自己口袋有多少錢。
要記住我們當行之事。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzviicghz5f
是的，要緊記我們的責任。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCF3mFzPkwe
ns216.73.216.100da2“Counting Stars” by OneRepublic122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QrAXaYYc6
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3w5FlMwLx
Dreaming about the things that we could be122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UYjuKYl9b
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3PyXhWrYI
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjSfyqHLOj
Yeah, we’ll be counting starsI see this life like a swinging vine,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD632wLLrUb
Swing my heart across the line122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsnLtLXJ7E
In my face is flashing signs,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAu047zmmJa
Seek it out and ye shall find.Old but I’m not that old122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4gWufsBwX
Young but I’m not that bold122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDK3TiGWke
And I don’t think the world is sold122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6w6W6Z0y4C
I’m just doing what we’re toldI I I I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLwsODCr44
And I I I I feel something so wrong by doing the right thingI could lie, couldn’t I, couldn’t I?122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEj14J9Jvl8
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAf5JZQryV
Dreaming about the things that we could be122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXqsgFA9hm
Baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ917Fuqu91P
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVf6lAnOodb
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0DXn2FiBc
Dreaming about the things that we could be122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpSBLks2aF
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYwT8y3itT
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be-we’ll be counting starsYe-e-yeah
I feel her love122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tb77mBxFo
And I feel it burn down this river every time122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGKZ0ZK5pK
Hope is our four-letter word, make that money watch it burnOld but, I’m not that old122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYPOa6MbZ6
Young, but I’m not that bold122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejuIwIMmLj
And I don’t think the world is sold122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4BqcnT5Zc
I’m just doing what we’re toldAnd I I I I feel something so wrong by doing the right thing122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhdAUszmEs
I could lie, couldn’t I, couldn’t I?122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0byunOlbcq
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna flyLately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6d1xxNM00Y
Dreaming about the things that we could be122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1indfDr62
Baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPL9cHLbEjS
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOrcubGWj1
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04xoVKFQlW
Dreaming about the things that we could be122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9gQG1psDw
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsfwjkB44E
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be-we’ll be counting starsOh, take that money watch it burn,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgRjnfJQse
Sing in the river the lessons I learned122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iW8SgAZCy
Take that money watch it burn,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLonfTbyVbN
Sing in the river the lessons I learned122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRa42eJaJrD
Take that money watch it burn,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3JgYPvDaZ
Sing in the river the lessons I learned122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EXx5jNOJP
Take that money watch it burn,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGvCNMsTKR
Sing in the river the lessons I learnedEverything that kills me makes me feel alive122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCQAWUYRY4
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlKmW5zRFt
Dreaming about the things that we could be122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrnWq6XkNf
Baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAoVdN2JGZ
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLLslCZeHy
Lately I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgyWUglh37
Dreaming about the things that we could be122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLEHtSi3tR
But, baby I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvKajoMpzL
Said no more counting dollars, we’ll be-we’ll be counting starsTake that money watch it burn,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfexpG6ENKA
Sing in the river the lessons I learned122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AjsOpcPj0
Take that money watch it burn,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6kGs9WLGP
Sing in the river the lessons I learned122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uGqNQW4Et
Take that money watch it burn,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2B26mjeZ1
Sing in the river the lessons I learned122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkdp5NUcx9
Take that money watch it burn,122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsk02RS0LH
Sing in the river the lessons I learned122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRhjtM9WnN
然後按「加至主畫面」