I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfuUo84DNk
If I’m honest, the days keep dragging by701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhGVX5bqXB
and my feet are sliding across the floor instead701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj65Z6ji7kG
of lifting with each step because I can’t find the energy701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiEtSuHsPE
to pick them up and set them back down.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaxlI5FIc4
Some people turn and ask me to stop scuffing701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nfQx8WBuN
my feet on the floor, please lift them up and walk701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYt5lUlH0wX
like a normal person, thank you.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlBzbFpQhT
I try.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡju5jfmd08E
I try everyday to lift myself up and keep walking701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnnPx9m8Rn
but like my feet, I am scuffing across the ground701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MJWOXD7pZ
just barely making it from one place to another701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GhSsD7Pju
without damage.
I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9TGPNuqLw
Just this Wednesday I was driving home701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6I0fceCX6
on the highway, 480 West from Brookpark Road701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlWiO1bQPE
where the RTA takes me to Cleveland for classes, and701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5axqyzYfvo
during the drive, I couldn’t focus on the road before me701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDT6EcL3qAs
because the news that Trump had won left me shaken701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwg0mdP3Bd
for those I’m not sure how to help701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAkMPK3t4W
when I’ve been given a privilege I didn’t ask for.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc50wsPKJT0
And while I was driving down the highway701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG2D8VSsTR
I contemplated the notion of jerking the wheel701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiqn76rgpP
to the left and letting my car hit the divide between the701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb4q3UccXr
highway East and the highway West; allow myself to701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C9ymR227M
collide with the wall, break through and destroy701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hkhYLbbbg
the other side.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTUvOZ6w7V
Then, I contemplated jerking the wheel to the right701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKgqUDgqZI
into the ditch along the grass so I wouldn’t701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc6fArSnli
harm anyone else in the process. But I701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweCEm6dt4y
didn’t do either, even though I701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZugkMFuON
got so scared for a minute701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qhxtoTFUm
that I would.
I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwtGM2ivxi
Last year on August 22nd, my birthday, I had a similar701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrC6XIMIyjS
reaction to suicidal thoughts. I had a rough701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfX2vPqfNOm
birthday; I worked, I was lonely, I felt701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JyxBqqHb7
pathetic, worthless, uncared for and forgotten701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XbEAam7ba
so I took the sharpest and largest kitchen knife701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5ep8vlgit
and I pressed the tip of it to my chest, above my heart701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOufwwawzS
and sobbed until I couldn’t sob anymore.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZKOdoY6kh
I did not press the sharp edge deep enough to701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouqdhwT8E0
draw blood, but it was the first time701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAgx8Y85v5
I had allowed myself to701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk99f0gzZLY
get so close to the temptation.
I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdGRMIxWtK
I say that I want to die a lot, even though I never701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7i92pW6zr
actually reach out and go through with it701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnh5uUYIdpY
I think because I’m afraid of not existing701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrE6Hx62bvM
just as I’m afraid of existing. And lately I701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimRTsjaFcL
have people who reach out to me when I’m not sure701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy4qn9OxFv
how to reach out to them, and it’s sweet to have people701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiJskMoNGj
support me, but I go right back to wanting to isolate myself701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuQ11GhGkn
and give up. I have thought about dying every day701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaCL4K76pZ
for the last few weeks and I wish I could just701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhPGla5Dsu
go through with it.
I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqIfvMwogF
I’m so tired of being forgotten, of arguing701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmh4YrN7IxK
for people to care about me when they should701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tY9fVc8Tr
care about me on their own. I often think that701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABvGjE06Zq
I should just stop putting in such an effort for those that701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzq4gwQoHgO
do not consider me, but I can’t seem to stop caring.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo5EVB8T2r
She often hurts me more than she improves my life701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnIvzLnTa3
but I’m too afraid to say anything because701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzCje91pfz
I need her. I need her to exist701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjnwIG9ZRu
in my existence, and I need her to701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IIRgp03yx
be by my side.701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIzeBAYQyx
But I’m tired.
I’m tired701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqzsunZdVt
of being tired701Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWxrO3RHbA
in this tiring life.
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