I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.PENANAdfuUo84DNk
If I’m honest, the days keep dragging by701Please respect copyright.PENANAdhGVX5bqXB
and my feet are sliding across the floor instead701Please respect copyright.PENANAj65Z6ji7kG
of lifting with each step because I can’t find the energy701Please respect copyright.PENANAgiEtSuHsPE
to pick them up and set them back down.701Please respect copyright.PENANAnaxlI5FIc4
Some people turn and ask me to stop scuffing701Please respect copyright.PENANA7nfQx8WBuN
my feet on the floor, please lift them up and walk701Please respect copyright.PENANAYt5lUlH0wX
like a normal person, thank you.701Please respect copyright.PENANAHlBzbFpQhT
I try.701Please respect copyright.PENANAju5jfmd08E
I try everyday to lift myself up and keep walking701Please respect copyright.PENANAmnnPx9m8Rn
but like my feet, I am scuffing across the ground701Please respect copyright.PENANA7MJWOXD7pZ
just barely making it from one place to another701Please respect copyright.PENANA7GhSsD7Pju
without damage.
I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.PENANAA9TGPNuqLw
Just this Wednesday I was driving home701Please respect copyright.PENANAF6I0fceCX6
on the highway, 480 West from Brookpark Road701Please respect copyright.PENANAAlWiO1bQPE
where the RTA takes me to Cleveland for classes, and701Please respect copyright.PENANA5axqyzYfvo
during the drive, I couldn’t focus on the road before me701Please respect copyright.PENANADT6EcL3qAs
because the news that Trump had won left me shaken701Please respect copyright.PENANAwwg0mdP3Bd
for those I’m not sure how to help701Please respect copyright.PENANALAkMPK3t4W
when I’ve been given a privilege I didn’t ask for.701Please respect copyright.PENANAc50wsPKJT0
And while I was driving down the highway701Please respect copyright.PENANAdG2D8VSsTR
I contemplated the notion of jerking the wheel701Please respect copyright.PENANAeiqn76rgpP
to the left and letting my car hit the divide between the701Please respect copyright.PENANAJb4q3UccXr
highway East and the highway West; allow myself to701Please respect copyright.PENANA8C9ymR227M
collide with the wall, break through and destroy701Please respect copyright.PENANA7hkhYLbbbg
the other side.701Please respect copyright.PENANAgTUvOZ6w7V
Then, I contemplated jerking the wheel to the right701Please respect copyright.PENANAcKgqUDgqZI
into the ditch along the grass so I wouldn’t701Please respect copyright.PENANAZc6fArSnli
harm anyone else in the process. But I701Please respect copyright.PENANAweCEm6dt4y
didn’t do either, even though I701Please respect copyright.PENANADZugkMFuON
got so scared for a minute701Please respect copyright.PENANA7qhxtoTFUm
that I would.
I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.PENANAiwtGM2ivxi
Last year on August 22nd, my birthday, I had a similar701Please respect copyright.PENANArC6XIMIyjS
reaction to suicidal thoughts. I had a rough701Please respect copyright.PENANAfX2vPqfNOm
birthday; I worked, I was lonely, I felt701Please respect copyright.PENANA9JyxBqqHb7
pathetic, worthless, uncared for and forgotten701Please respect copyright.PENANA6XbEAam7ba
so I took the sharpest and largest kitchen knife701Please respect copyright.PENANAh5ep8vlgit
and I pressed the tip of it to my chest, above my heart701Please respect copyright.PENANAmOufwwawzS
and sobbed until I couldn’t sob anymore.701Please respect copyright.PENANAKZKOdoY6kh
I did not press the sharp edge deep enough to701Please respect copyright.PENANAouqdhwT8E0
draw blood, but it was the first time701Please respect copyright.PENANAoAgx8Y85v5
I had allowed myself to701Please respect copyright.PENANAk99f0gzZLY
get so close to the temptation.
I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.PENANAsdGRMIxWtK
I say that I want to die a lot, even though I never701Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7i92pW6zr
actually reach out and go through with it701Please respect copyright.PENANAnh5uUYIdpY
I think because I’m afraid of not existing701Please respect copyright.PENANArE6Hx62bvM
just as I’m afraid of existing. And lately I701Please respect copyright.PENANAimRTsjaFcL
have people who reach out to me when I’m not sure701Please respect copyright.PENANAoy4qn9OxFv
how to reach out to them, and it’s sweet to have people701Please respect copyright.PENANAUiJskMoNGj
support me, but I go right back to wanting to isolate myself701Please respect copyright.PENANAxuQ11GhGkn
and give up. I have thought about dying every day701Please respect copyright.PENANALaCL4K76pZ
for the last few weeks and I wish I could just701Please respect copyright.PENANALhPGla5Dsu
go through with it.
I’m tired.701Please respect copyright.PENANAfqIfvMwogF
I’m so tired of being forgotten, of arguing701Please respect copyright.PENANAmh4YrN7IxK
for people to care about me when they should701Please respect copyright.PENANA4tY9fVc8Tr
care about me on their own. I often think that701Please respect copyright.PENANAABvGjE06Zq
I should just stop putting in such an effort for those that701Please respect copyright.PENANAzq4gwQoHgO
do not consider me, but I can’t seem to stop caring.701Please respect copyright.PENANAFo5EVB8T2r
She often hurts me more than she improves my life701Please respect copyright.PENANAAnIvzLnTa3
but I’m too afraid to say anything because701Please respect copyright.PENANAJzCje91pfz
I need her. I need her to exist701Please respect copyright.PENANAnjnwIG9ZRu
in my existence, and I need her to701Please respect copyright.PENANA9IIRgp03yx
be by my side.701Please respect copyright.PENANAOIzeBAYQyx
But I’m tired.
I’m tired701Please respect copyright.PENANAWqzsunZdVt
of being tired701Please respect copyright.PENANAKWxrO3RHbA
in this tiring life.