夢境筆記 - 9.抽過的煙

主角: 我(男) // 時空: 夜中的C城

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我拉開客廳旁邊玻璃門踏出走到陽台，抬頭見到月亮掛在天上，又大又圓的滿月近到彷彿伸手可及，可是我連抬手的力都沒有，從褲袋取出一根煙叼在口邊，手放在煙頭前擋住吹來的夜風，亮起打火機的小火點燃煙頭，慢慢吸了一小口，緩緩把煙吐出來，仿佛心裡的煩悶一掃而空，靜靜呆望著夜空。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtY5sVMvz71
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隔壁的陽台剛好也亮起燈，一人從室內走出來看著我：「晚上好！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLBh1IAEfQ
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我強忍心裡的驚訝，點點頭示意並遞出手上的煙盒，他抽出一根煙輕聲向我道謝，我本以為他今晚要在公司過夜，沒想到他在家裡，還好我天生面癱，因此他並沒看出差異，更何況他沒看著我，視線一直向著天空。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoQWqoFJYB
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還以為離開前夜不會再見到他，三天前難得的同學聚會都得知我要出國，吹水的吹水，祝酒的祝酒，送禮的送禮，大家情緒激動得差點哭出來，他也是其中一個，說好像父親嫁女兒的心情百感交集。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFZCxpBg4a
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儘管我是男的。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYdFTogva7
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只見他除掉領呔，解開了襯衫最上的兩粒鈕扣，套在外層的西裝大概早在他進門後便脫掉，他把煙深吸一口再慢慢吐出來：「傢私和行李都整理完嗎？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBV14A0Fel
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我點點頭，手上無名指上的戒指照出一線光環，三個月前跟澳洲男友訂婚，明天就跟他一齊搬回去他家鄉開餐廳，婚禮也會在那裡進行。同學們都知道我的性取向，所以得知我找到伴侶後他們都真心替我高興。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrjBSum6yX
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「可惜我女兒剛出生，要不我也想去婚禮。」他繼續道，他兩年前結婚了，女兒兩星期前剛出生，為了賺奶粉錢他最近都日夜顛倒地工作。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdE8rDCeTh
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我曾經暗戀過他，他大婚當天我在宴會抱著酒一支一支地飲，回到家吐到差點胃出血，後來衣衫不整走出陽台抽煙，視線瞪著隔壁陽台，連哭的力氣都沒有，抽著口叼著的煙，可是愈抽愈苦，最後連星火也熄滅。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HUxKoL8ww
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現在回想起來也覺得自己可笑：「別介意啦，影片我之後會上傳到社交平台，你都一樣看到啦！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKu4H1ncdhr
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「氣氛不一樣啊！不過我真是替你高興！真是太感動！」兩年前的我沒辦法想到，現在聽到他的祝福，我是能夠發自內心地笑出來。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWToARyLLJl
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多虧我的男朋友。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFV8prsQeMb
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忽然聽到隔壁有嬰兒大喊的哭聲，他連忙捏掉手裡半截煙，他輕身走回室內，走前不忘拋下一句：「再次恭喜你，要保持聯絡！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQXBKCRbco
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我的視線就一直追著他的背影，直到他把房門關上，房間的燈全關，才把視線收回抽起剩下半截的煙，當時愈抽愈苦的煙，現在卻奇怪地感覺有種特別甜味，我吹著夜空對著星空傻笑。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbYVQcxkvc
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