我鍾意同妳鬥氣，其實只係因為… （連載中） - 一

一

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「我要結婚喇。」

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響一間價錢唔貴既牛扒專門店西餐廳，坐響我面前既呢個女人一臉幸福地向我公開佢既喜訊。

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…

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我…

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有半秒呆咗唔識反應…

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只係感覺到，好似有一把利劍拮入我既心臟度…

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呢半秒我直情覺得好似透唔到氣咁…

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不過我係一個好專業既「演員」，所以隔咗一秒都唔駛，我已經堆出笑臉，哈哈大笑︰「嘩真係恭喜妳喎，妳啲咁既野獸都有人要！真係要多謝石生為天下男人除害，哈哈哈哈哈！」

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係啊…

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我係一個「演員」。

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做呢種即場既「表演」已經唔係第一次。

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咁多年黎，每當佢同我講話佢有新男朋友既時候，作為專業「演員」既我都係咁樣恭喜佢既。

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而石生呢，就係眼前呢個女人既男朋友…唔係…而家係未婚夫先啱…當年佢話比我知佢拍拖既時候，我都係好似而家咁「表演」。

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我越笑越誇張，開始成個餐廳既人都望住我…望吖，望吖！都唔係第一次比人咁望架喇！唔知醜厚臉皮係我既一大優點黎。

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而且我唔咁樣笑，我驚我內心既想法會曝露咗出黎比眼前呢個女人知。

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眼前呢個女人叫做…

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葉佩儀。

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一個我由中一開始已經認識既女人。

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一個可以稱為永遠既朋友既女人。

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「喂，死人必，你可唔可以唔好笑得咁誇張啊，你就快引到成間餐廳既人都望住我哋喇！」葉佩儀一巴如來神掌劈落我頭頂…

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嘩，佢真係唔留力架喎！

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呢一個掌刀都打醒咗我，我記住啊，我係要扮到同平時既我一模一樣。

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於是我叫咗出黎︰「痴線架咩！咁大力！妳其實真係男人婆黎架喎！都唔知石生係咪鍾意搞基先會娶妳做老婆！」

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葉佩儀收起佢既掌刀，然後拎起餐枱上面既餐刀，目露凶光，道︰「你講多次？」

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「哦！我話葉佩儀小姐賢良淑德、入得廚房、出得廳堂、溫柔可人、親切善良、風情萬種既女人，娶得佢既男人真係三生有幸喇！」我即刻轉變咗臉上既表情，換咗個笑到洽熟狗頭咁既樣。

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本來葉佩儀聽緊頭半段既時候個表情慢慢變得好滿意同點頭，但聽到我話佢「風情萬種」既時候，佢即皺晒眉，然後等我講晒成句之後，佢就話︰「風情萬種四隻字係不必要既。」

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我笑笑口道︰「是旦喇。」然後又問︰「點啊？特登約我出黎就係諗住晒幸福啊？準人妻小姐？」

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葉佩儀既表情即刻又變得甜絲絲咁，答︰「係啊！」

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我望一望周圍，道︰「公佈個咁震撼既消息應該搵間高級啲既法國餐廳吖，點會黎呢度鋸扒啊？」

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「唓，呢度好失禮你咩？我哋成日都黎呢度食飯架喇！」葉佩儀不屑咁望住我︰「仲有啊，我驚你去果啲餐廳唔夠錢比啊！」

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「吓！乜呢餐唔係妳請咩？」我擺出個大吃一驚既表情︰「我哋咁耐既交情，妳宣佈婚訊都唔請我食飯，我好hurt囉！」

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「就係我哋咁耐既交情，我今次結婚第一個就係通知你喇！」葉佩儀道。

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第一個…妳係第一個通知我。

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哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！

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妳真係夠老友。

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但係…

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妳又知唔知…其實我寧願妳永遠都唔好通知我？

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唉唔好再諗，我即刻接落去問︰「妳未同淇淇講咩？」

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淇淇全名係譚梓淇，一樣係由中一開始認識既女性朋友，佢同葉佩儀唔止係好姐妹，甚至乎用「生死之交」黎形容都不為過。

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乜話？

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生死之交係要黎形容男人？

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有規定架咩？

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是旦喇。

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無所謂喇。

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而家乜嘢都冇所謂喇...

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「未喎！因為我想第一個比你知…」葉佩儀難得唔係用惡狠狠既語氣同我講嘢。

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「真係？我真係大face喎。」呢下我真係嚇咗一跳，畢竟以佢同譚梓淇既交情，譚梓淇唔係第一個知真係好令人驚奇下。

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但係點解…葉佩儀佢要第一個話比我知？

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唔通…唔通…其實佢一直以黎都係對我…

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…

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痴線，係既話佢就唔會同石生結婚喇！

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林必才啊林必才，好心你咁大個人就唔好咁多性幻想喇！

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「點啊？最後發覺原來心底入面係鍾意我，所以想第一個比我知道妳結婚啊？」啊屌，我都係口不擇言咁講咗出黎。

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「你傻咗啊？鍾意舊屎都唔會鍾意你啊！」葉佩儀惡狠狠地道︰「第一個話你知我結婚，等你唔好再對我有咩幻想咋！」

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嘩…其實妳知唔知妳呢幾句說話對我既傷害力有幾大啊？

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不過，我而家要比佢睇到，我仲係「平時」既我，所以我即刻還擊︰「對妳有幻想？我寧願對住狗有幻想啊！」

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「變態啊你？」

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「妳先變態啊！」

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然後我哋就響餐廳入面鬥起嘴黎…

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就好似返到中學既時候，我同佢每日返學見面既時候都會鬥嘴一樣…

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唔知葉佩儀結咗婚之後，我哋仲可唔可以咁呢？

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哈哈...

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心入面笑下笑下，好似就想喊咁...

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