我鍾意同妳鬥氣，其實只係因為… （已完結） - 三百二十四

三百二十四

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（葉佩儀視角）

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我有啲不知所措咁望住媽咪…

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「乜嘢原因啊？」我問。

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「女啊…結婚唔係一晚既事，唔係果晚搞完婚宴就會完結既事，呢樣係一世既事，妳係咪真係諗清楚？」媽咪憐愛地問。

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「媽咪，妳咁講…妳咁講…係乜嘢意思啊…？」

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「妳係咪唔止唔捨得必仔離開香港啊？」媽咪問。

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「媽咪…」我估唔到媽咪會咁問，一時之間唔知點樣反應…

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「係咪？」

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「媽咪…我…我…」

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我想答係，但我點答得出口？我甚至連阿必佢對我點諗我都唔知！

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「冇事…」媽咪又摸摸我既長髮，道︰「媽咪永遠都會企喺妳果面…至緊要妳開心。」

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我搖搖頭，諗起今日聽天由命既結局，又諗起石生對我既好、又諗起我哋既婚禮已經籌備得如火如涂…

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「我唔可以咁自私…」

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「儀，結婚係一世既事啊，媽咪淨係想妳開開心心咁過埋佢。」媽咪話︰「我知Sebastian係個好好既男人，好照顧妳，交妳比佢，Daddy同媽咪都放心，只係…妳係咪對嫁比佢一啲懷疑都冇？」

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「懷疑？」

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媽咪指一指我胸口，道︰「妳個心啊。」

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「我個心…」

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「媽咪由妳哋中學開始既時候睇住妳大，必仔又成日上黎，妳同佢既事…其實我都觀察在內。」媽咪說道︰「必仔個人係睇落冇嚟正經，但係我睇得出佢係一個好有責任感既人，好有交帶，而且好識做人。」

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媽咪又摸下我個頭，續道︰「講真吖，如果唔係識咗必仔十幾年，而呢十幾年睇住你哋相處，媽咪一定會話將妳交比石生，安心過交比必仔架。唔…應該話，而家其實就咁睇，媽咪都係覺得，將妳交比石生，我會安心過交比阿必…」

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媽咪都講到呢個份上，即係佢都睇得出我係鍾意阿必？

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「媽咪…」

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「但係，最緊要妳鍾意。」媽咪道。

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「媽咪…妳點知我鍾意阿必架？」我忍唔住問。

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媽咪微笑道︰「由果日見到妳同佢喺門口攬到實一實，我已經估到。」

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…

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其實，我自己都係由果日開始，先開始慢慢再次咁意識到自己既心意…

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…

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…

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…

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仲有阿必既心意。

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雖然唔可以100%肯定，但我係感受到既。

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我同媽咪講︰「就算係又點…我鍾意佢，佢又鍾意我咩？我應該為呢段咁唔確定既感情去放棄而家既一切？」

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「咁而家既一切，係咪令妳開心？」

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媽咪問出重點了。

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…

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坦白講，我唔知。

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如果我係開心既話，今晚同阿必飯局之後，果個所謂「聽天由命」既結局，就唔會令我咁心煩、傷心、不甘，而係應該好似解脫、了咗件心事咁。

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「妳唔駛答我架，媽咪亦都唔係逼妳做決定，妳做任何既決定，都只要對得住自己個心、對得住自己既感情，就算妳最後都係決定同Sebastian結婚，媽咪一樣支持。」媽咪說道。

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同淇淇講既一樣既…

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我忍唔住「噗」一聲輕輕笑咗出黎。

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媽咪問︰「妳笑乜嘢啊？」

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「淇淇都同我講過同一番說話。」我笑答，但眼睛好似有少少淚意。

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「咁係因為…淇淇同媽咪一樣，都係想妳開心囉。」媽咪理所當然地道。

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嗯…一個係我既至親…一個係我既最好朋友…佢哋永遠都係為我好。

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「但係…我都唔知阿必係咪鍾意我…佢…我今日同佢食飯，佢都冇挽留過我…」

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「咁只係代表佢接受咗妳要結婚既呢個事實，唔代表佢對妳冇感情架喎。」媽咪道︰「其實佢對妳有冇感情，妳自己應該感受得到，係咪？」

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我諗返起阿必一路以黎為我所做既事情，再加上淇淇既提點，我冇可能感受唔到…為咗我，可以連去日本外流既機會都放棄，知道呢個事實之後，唔通我真係咁都感受唔到咩？

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…

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點解…我唔可以早啲感受得到？

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點解，阿必你唔可以早啲比我知道呢件事？

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阿必你正一蠢材！

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媽咪見我唔出事，續道︰「其實果日睇到你哋喺屋企門口攬住，我都睇得出你哋兩個對彼此既感情…」

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明明我啱啱先默認/間接承認完，但我都係神經反射地道︰「冇啊！係佢攬住我咋嘛！」

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呢啲真係根深蒂固既反應…

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媽咪道︰「妳對佢既感情，妳自己都感受到，係咪？」

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「…」

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「儀，點都好，媽咪會企喺妳身邊。」媽咪柔聲道。

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我抬頭望住媽咪，比起細個既時候，佢頭髮花白咗，皺紋都多咗唔少，不過相對地，比起細個既時候對住我嚴厲、樣樣嘢都要求我做到最好既媽咪，佢而家真係溫柔、慈愛咗好多。

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以前佢都錫我，不過都係大個咗諗返先覺，但而家佢對我咁溫柔地支持我，我就已經感受到佢對我既果種愛錫…

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有個愛錫自己既媽咪真係好…

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我突然諗起林必才既媽咪，佢係咪都係一樣咁愛錫林必才呢？佢係咪其實心入面都好似佢爸爸咁，係希望我同林必才喺埋一齊呢？

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諗到呢度，我又回憶起當年同林必才扮情侶果陣時既事…心入面湧起咗一陣甜蜜既感覺…縱然果陣其實我係度Elvis拍緊拖，但係我仍然係好享受果段時光…

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如果嗰段關係係真既話，你哋話幾好呢…

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（待續）

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