我鍾意同妳鬥氣，其實只係因為… （已完結） - 三百一十九

三百一十九

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為咗打破呢個有尷尬既氣氛，同埋又驚自己唔記得咗比，我喺我個運動背囊入面拎咗樣嘢出黎比葉佩儀。

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「送比妳架。」我遞咗手上嘅嘢比葉佩儀。

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「咦…呢枝筆係…」葉佩儀征征地接過咗枝筆。

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「呢枝筆咪妳黎囉，哈哈。」

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枝筆就係果枝我當年作客台灣比完賽行夜市既時候買果枝筆，即係筆尾有個女仔勁似葉佩儀發嬲樣既公仔果枝筆。大家有記性既話都記得當年我買咗兩枝同款既筆，一枝一早送咗比葉佩儀做手信，另一枝就留返自己J。後來葉佩儀二次發現劉政龍出軌既時候，佢唔小心漏咗喺人哋公司，最後冇拎返。

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我都講過，反正我都唔想睹物思人，咁咪送比葉佩儀囉，咁做可能對我黎講係最好。

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歌都有得唱喇︰「放下從前一段感情，才能追求將來」啊。

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我續道︰「我記得…果陣妳漏咗枝筆喺Elvis公司，但係之後因為你同佢分咗手，所以唔係返唔到上去公司攞吖嘛。」

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「嗯…你仲記得…」

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梗係記得喇…關於妳既嘢，我所有嘢都記得。

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「今次keep好啲啊，咪再整唔見啊，買唔返架喇！」我道︰「收咗佢喇！」

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「咁…你自己呢？」

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「送比妳喇，我踢波架嘛，有幾何揸筆啫，簽名都唔會用原子筆喇！哈哈。」我笑住再遞埋去︰「唔駛同我客氣，拎住佢，等妳寂寞既時候見到佢就見到我咁！」

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「咁…」

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「我唔喺香港唔緊要，呢枝筆就係我既化身，有嘢就同佢傾訴喇，佢會幫妳架喇！」我作狀咁同枝筆講嘢，問佢︰「你話係唔係啊？阿筆？」跟住又扮枝筆講嘢︰「係啊…係啊…」

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「咁啊…多謝你。」葉佩儀笑咗出笑，有少少猶豫但最後都係伸手接過枝筆。

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唔知係咪錯覺，葉佩儀既笑容係有啲傷感咁。不過係都唔奇，就算佢只係當我係一個好好既朋友，咁當呢個好好既朋友要遠走他方離開自己既時候，我諗點都會有啲傷感既。

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我都係。

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不過我諗我既傷感係更加緣於…

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我哋又繼續食嘢，不過可能真係因為離別在即，呢餐飯葉佩儀講既嘢都唔係好多，同埋佢好似心事重重咁款，要我係咁發起話題真係唔容易，不過我本身就有鳩UP level 99呢個屬性，所以都叫做令到個氣氛唔好咁死氣沉沉…

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終於，差唔多到咗餐飯既尾聲…

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「媽咪叫妳記得多啲上去探佢啊！」我叮囑葉佩儀道。

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「嗯…我記得架喇。」

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「喂，妳真係好唔捨得我咩？」我笑住問。

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「妖，邊個話唔捨得你？你食屎喇。」葉佩儀咁講，但一啲都冇果種凶狠既氣勢。

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其實今日妳成副心事重重咁既樣，我實睇得出架喎，妳又冇我咁好演技，不過我就唔會督爆佢喇，我淨係話︰「得得得…不過我都唔係死咗，我只係唔喺香港啫，放心喎，球季一完放假我就返黎架喇。」然後又道︰「仲有啊，而家科技咁發達，想搵我既話咪WhatsApp我囉，又冇乜時差，我見到既話即刻應機啊！」

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「林必才…你之前曾經有機會去日本，但係最後冇去，呢件事係咪真架？」葉佩儀突然問，殺咗我一個措手不及。

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「吓？咩啊？邊個同妳講架？」不過我演技唔係流，我好快就保持返鎮定。我好似冇同任何人講過，除咗余正熙早幾日同我confirm過之外…但冇理由佢會話比葉佩儀知架？

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「…我上網睇到。」

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「唓，上網睇既都好信既？」我諗係啲forum或者Facebook群組有球圈人士放出黎。老實講，我諗當時有人收到風都唔奇，而家咁啱我又真係去日本，啲人咪搵返啲old news黎講囉。

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我唔需要承認，而我都唔想葉佩儀知道我曾經放棄外流既機會…仲要係因為佢。

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「林必才，你答我，即係有定冇？」葉佩儀認真地道。

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「點解要咁問既？哈哈…」我唔想呃葉佩儀，但又唔想比佢知，驚佢會追問，唯有繼續詐傻扮懵。

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「咁即係有喇！」葉佩儀道。

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「唉，人哋網上鳩UP既嘢，妳都好信既？」我白卡式咁笑道。

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「你以笑遮醜，咁即係『係』喇，我點解唔信？」葉佩儀道︰「我識咗你咁耐，唔通仲睇你唔通？」

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呃…有時我以為自己演技做得好好，不過呢一下真係比佢睇穿咗。

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「你點果陣唔去既？」葉佩儀問。

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「重要咩？」我咁答，其實即係已經間接承認咗我係曾經有機會外流。

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「我想知。」葉佩儀道。

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「唔重要既…」

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「但我真係想知。」葉佩儀深吸咗一口氣之後，就好似想要確定啲乜嘢咁。

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佢究竟想點？

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又或者…佢究竟知道啲乜嘢…想確定啲乜嘢？

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但…冇理由架喎…

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「林必才…」

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「唉，妳要我講，咁梗係因為我唔捨得媽咪喇…」我嘆咗口氣，扮出一副孝子擔心既表情，道︰「妳知，老豆當時走咗冇幾耐，咁我冇理由咁不孝，掉低佢老人家走咗去架嘛。」

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演技大爆發！冇問題，一定呃到葉佩儀既！

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「就係咁？」葉佩儀表情微覺失望，又問︰「冇其他原因？」

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「冇喇…咁我真係擔心媽咪既。」我又嘆咗口氣。

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「咁而家又唔擔心嗱？」葉佩儀問。

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唔…的確係一個好問題…

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「都過咗咁耐，媽咪都慣咗冇爸爸喺身邊既日子，所以而家呢個外流時間，都叫做啱啱好。」我道︰「媽咪都好贊成我去日本踢波，仲話會裝香既時候會同老豆講，等佢以我為榮喎。」我笑咗一笑，道︰「其實啊，我自己幫老豆靈位裝香既時候都講咗喇，呢啲嘢梗係親口同老豆講架嘛，哈哈。啊，仲有啊，妳都應承咗得閒會上吓去探媽咪架嘛，我信妳架！媽咪當妳係契女黎架！」

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「冇嗱？」葉佩儀好似有種唔死心既語氣咁追問。

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「冇喇。」我反問︰「不如妳話比我知，妳究竟想我講乜嘢原因？」

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葉佩儀望住我半响，但係最後只係搖搖頭，道︰「冇嘢喇。」

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我感覺到啲氣氛好似有啲唔同咗咁…只係錯覺黎？

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「我都就走咯，不如我哋搵個地方食糖水？」我問。

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「嗯…都好。」葉佩儀又好順攤咁點頭。

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「咁埋單先喇。」

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埋單既時候，葉佩儀話︰「呢餐我請你，當係farewell你喇。」

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我唔係余正熙，對要比暗戀既女人請更加覺得唔好意思，不過葉佩儀都好堅持，最後我都由得佢請。之後，佢就上咗我架貨van，然後揸咗去一間我哋食開既糖水鋪。

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啱啱間餐廳都好食既，份量黎講都唔少，睇黎葉佩儀都做過下research，唔係去佢同石生幫襯開果啲貴夾唔飽既餐廳。咁當然石生都唔一定次次去呢啲貴夾唔飽既地方食既，可能佢哋都一齊去過呢間餐廳都唔定呢？

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唉，一定係咁喇。我呷醋都冇用。

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不過話說回來，相比起啲貴價西餐廳，呢啲平民地方我好似先坐得舒服啲。

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我哋各自嗌咗碗糖水之後，又傾下計咁，對我黎講，臨行之前同葉佩儀每一刻既相處都好重要。我想好好咁珍惜呢啲記憶，等第時我真正放底咗葉佩儀之後，可以拎出黎細心回味。只係今晚既葉佩儀說話並唔多，而且有時會問啲我意想唔到既問題…除咗佢唔捨得我之外，我仲好似感覺有種唔識形容…我都唔知乜嘢黎既感覺…

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「點解我次次失戀都陪我既？」食完糖水，我用顧浩華架貨van送葉佩儀返石生屋企既時候，佢喺車上既副駕問我。

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嗱嗱嗱…又黎喇…究竟係啲乜嘢原因…令到葉佩儀今晚會問呢啲問題呢？

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你話係曖昧問題…又好似唔算…但又好似同啲情情愛愛有關咁…

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「咁我哋係最好既朋友黎架嘛，我唔陪妳邊個陪啊？」我笑道。

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「就係咁？」葉佩儀追問︰「仲有冇其他原因？」

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「咪就係咁囉！」

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大家又沉默咗一陣。

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今日呢個情況真係時有發生。

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「點解我每一段感情，你都全力支持我既？」葉佩儀問。

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「我咪話我哋係最好既朋友囉！唔支持妳仲支持邊個？我拍拖既時候，我諗妳一樣會為我高興！」

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葉佩儀望出窗外，默然喃喃自語咁講︰「係咩…」

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之後又係一段時間既沉默，不過葉佩儀偶然會望一望我，好似想我講啲乜嘢咁，但當我開口鳩UP講白卡嘢既時候，佢又好似會有啲唔開心咁擰轉頭…

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我最初覺得佢唔開心係因為唔捨得我，但我望多幾次佢既表情，除咗不捨之外，仲好似透露出少少失望咁…我識咗佢咁耐，又同佢咁friend，我好難相信會睇錯…但佢會失望啲乜嘢？真係失望我掉低佢去日本？唔係吖，唔通佢會唔支持我外流咩？

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千里送君，終需一別，就算幾唔想都好，我終於都送葉佩儀送到石生屋企樓下附近。

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「石生會唔會落黎接妳啊？」我笑問，同時強壓住心中既痛苦、傷感。

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呢種痛…喺我意識到呢度係石生既地頭，而葉佩儀一陣間就要上去石生屋企（…應該話係佢哋「將來」既屋企先真）既呢一刻，感受特別錐心。但我唔會顯露出黎。我點都唔會顯露出黎。

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「唔會，我自己上去。」葉佩儀仲坐喺副駕度，好似未想落車咁，跟住佢又問︰「聽日你下晝兩點機？」

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我點點頭，道︰「係啊。」然後笑道︰「妳想黎送我機啊？咪喇，唔值得為我浪費咗一日假。」

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「…」

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「好喇，返上去喇，唔好要石生等咁耐。」

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葉佩儀咬一咬牙，突然問咗個我意想唔到既問題︰「最後你仲有冇嘢同我講？」

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吓…？我有冇嘢同佢講…？

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莫非…莫非…葉佩儀佢而家真係比緊一個最後機會我？

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就喺呢一刻，我諗起余正熙喺WhatsApp入面對我既叮囑…

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（待續）

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