I haven't updated in a while.
If a few hours can be counted as 'a while'.
My grandparents from Niš came here and are taking care of my little sister.
Julia.
I guess it's okay.
I didn't go to school today.
Probably of this thing.
Like I'm trying to recall memories that I had with my uncle. To you, reader, this may seem a bit silly, but I can't recall anything really significant.
For a while, I've subtly been rude and selfish to people around me.
And it partly was not my fault.
My ex-best friend, Bogdan showed me pornography in third grade.
He shoved me into shoplifting because of peer pressure, haha.
But that's just me blaming all my problems on someone else again.
I didn't have to be friebds with him.
But I gyess I was blind to all the shouting, kicking and screaming red flags.
And after this, I realised what I have done and what I could have done, and that put me into a depression-like state.
I was thinking of killing myself (which my mind brung up again as a possibility after my uncle died) because the pain of knowing you hurted your lived ones without any kind of remorse is terrible, to say the least.
And that paired with grief, I just feel really, pardon me, shitty.
I guess I won't go to school this week.
And I spent three hours on my phone today, scrolling on tiktok.
I feel like such a fucking sham.
...
...
...
Ugh.
I'll update tommorow.
I dont want to now.
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