日正當空,湖面蒸氣騰升,空氣濕翳悶侷。旅客遊湖興致大減,看見湖側小艇租賃店的殘破裝潢,僅餘的愉悅心情消磨殆盡。253Please respect copyright.PENANAqSVTvznHNx
253Please respect copyright.PENANAPZKREWsLkC
四十年前,他一手創立這曾經輝煌一時的小艇租賃店。哪個他?就是那個身穿發黃白色背心、正在店內老舊梳化上打盹的瘦削老頭。253Please respect copyright.PENANAio4XgXMTgi
253Please respect copyright.PENANAckAYHwmuYS
一個女人走入店內,輕推他的臂膀,硬生打斷他夢中的快樂家庭生活。「先生,我來租小艇的。」253Please respect copyright.PENANAt0ZlLNLI7F
253Please respect copyright.PENANA9U2E7q78X9
他氣得想要破口大罵,但千萬粗言穢語最終化成一聲不耐煩的嘆息示現人前。嶙峋雙手硬撐身子坐起來,乾癟雙腳好不容易才成功對準、穿上拖鞋,以飄落黃葉似的搖曳步姿走到櫃檯,拿出簇新的黑色硬皮簿。「這裡。填資料。」253Please respect copyright.PENANAfiW7vd26rZ
253Please respect copyright.PENANAfRk7Jyzeld
「嗯。」女人察覺硬皮簿的簇新與店面的陳舊裝潢格格不入,估計是剛剛更換不久,證明店舖不缺客人。面前的酒鬼應該活得不錯,如果他沒有花太多錢在酒水的話。「填好了。」253Please respect copyright.PENANAC5srlx5ClU
253Please respect copyright.PENANAFQsVtQJLqf
他匆匆收起硬皮簿,沒有瞥望資料一眼。收下按金,三言兩語粗疏講解船槳的使用方法和救生衣的位置後,馬上領著女人前往三號小艇的所在。253Please respect copyright.PENANAPdJMmT3vV9
253Please respect copyright.PENANA2iXcmqMyiE
「有關救生衣的使用方法,自己看說明書。」他打個呵欠,彷彿剛才的一連串工作已然耗盡畢生精力。253Please respect copyright.PENANABnSbiecBVo
253Please respect copyright.PENANApfr19zQrFd
「嗯。」女人不介意他的粗魯無禮,幽幽目送他微駝背影遠去不復見。253Please respect copyright.PENANAgd6c4sPMHL
女人沒有歸還小艇。他想報警,可恨營商牌照早已被吊銷,實在報不得警。恨得牙癢癢的,只好買醉洩憤。253Please respect copyright.PENANAe3dn1Sbvwd
253Please respect copyright.PENANApmyAmxX8FL
醉。忘了恨,忘了痛。253Please respect copyright.PENANA8b6Ctny5aM
253Please respect copyright.PENANAhDrmJHjdwi
妻女的離開是他畢生最痛。明知她們恐懼自己酒後的狂態,奈何他真的十分需要酒精——打理生意不容易,無數問題只得他一人去處理。壓力大,失眠,唯有栽進酒水裡求安寧。253Please respect copyright.PENANASEjZTtMifA
253Please respect copyright.PENANAvJQAowaB9M
安寧日子終於到來。253Please respect copyright.PENANAWKmFkTJCEv
253Please respect copyright.PENANA3aW7kwACe4
妻女離家出走後,家裡沒有半點生氣,死寂氣氛沉重得令人窒息。他憤怒,他難過,他不明白自己為養家奔波勞碌多年有何價值。沒有尋找二人,沒有繼續拼盡全力打理生意。得過且過。有錢買酒就可以,有酒尋夢就可以,有夢安家就可以。夢裡的家,有他有妻有女……253Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5ryIWcD38
253Please respect copyright.PENANA9Uu86SecVx
一名警員輕推他的臂膀,硬生打斷他夢中的快樂家庭生活。「先生,我們需要你就一宗命案到警署協助調查。」253Please respect copyright.PENANALxi813rUVm
「爸:253Please respect copyright.PENANAOvOhKUK1tD
253Please respect copyright.PENANAMWbvFFFjEw
三個月前,我跟丈夫離婚,兒子撫養權歸他。一個月前,媽急病離世。253Please respect copyright.PENANA3jv8uHfCY9
253Please respect copyright.PENANA6guwhutdVu
我不知道自己該要為何活下去——我在乎的人全都離我而去。若說將來會遇到更多在乎的人,他們終歸離我而去,不是嗎?253Please respect copyright.PENANAEZjsUD79ve
253Please respect copyright.PENANAMqUxqLHQgB
被遺棄的滋味十分熬人。我驀地想起你,被我和媽遺棄的你。253Please respect copyright.PENANAbXIk2z1E2m
253Please respect copyright.PENANABylg7BkEgi
你活得好嗎?有否掛念我和媽?你會因我們的離開而反省和戒酒嗎?253Please respect copyright.PENANATJVabFyJhS
253Please respect copyright.PENANAvbu7pKTVQ5
二十多年來,我們的生活尚算可以,苦樂參半。奈何無論時日如何流逝,我們偶爾仍會想起你。無可否認,你是我們生命的一部分。否定你,就是否認我們生命的一部分。即使懼怕你,我們仍然希望你活得好,證明我們的生命曾經很好。253Please respect copyright.PENANAwdRMkkDkem
253Please respect copyright.PENANAOFTAwIsBnX
媽已然沒機會知道你活得可好——這是插在我心裡的一根刺。253Please respect copyright.PENANAz5SGipHODO
253Please respect copyright.PENANAWj61WCkEtn
踏上回憶中的道路,我來到湖邊。想要看看你,卻又害怕看見你。想跟你相認,卻又害怕被你認出。如果你認出我、喚我的名字,我會捨不得去死嗎?不知道,因為你認不出我。253Please respect copyright.PENANAFm1CE1d1dt
253Please respect copyright.PENANAK1UlsSVsbI
我在硬皮簿如實寫上名字,你沒有看。我反倒覺得釋懷——一直猶豫該否自殺,一直幻想你勸阻我的情境,一直誤會世上仍有人會捨不得我……但原來是我想多了,世事從來很簡單。253Please respect copyright.PENANAlSNyJ34D5i
253Please respect copyright.PENANAsIIHhMTszJ
就這樣吧。我累了。253Please respect copyright.PENANAGA0fCYBA2W
253Please respect copyright.PENANAAqx439bPGa
永別!253Please respect copyright.PENANA1aE0ednNNN
253Please respect copyright.PENANAu8zRuqDTF5
女兒上」253Please respect copyright.PENANAgQSqrsyigU
夜,無月無星,只有店門前的一盞黃光大燈照亮湖面一隅。風吹,水面輕皺,大燈的倒影隨之輕晃輕動。253Please respect copyright.PENANA3yqTCdCj0W
253Please respect copyright.PENANATo6Ejnzk5K
很美。有如久遠記憶中的女兒,妸娜多姿,輪廓分明。253Please respect copyright.PENANAI0XAbtX7np
253Please respect copyright.PENANAGyE6OKmEQ4
手裡的啤酒罐清空了。他用力將空罐扔向大燈的倒影,倒影被空罐泛起的水花打亂本身的晃動節奏,散了、碎了。以為稍等數分鐘後湖面就可以重歸原樣,不,那突如其來的空罐仍在水面中或浮或沉,持續泛起無數大大小小的漣漪。253Please respect copyright.PENANAEFTVPCNVwP
253Please respect copyright.PENANACczE4nw2RY
不美。有如殮房中的女兒,屍身發脹,面目全非。253Please respect copyright.PENANArTHUayaUWv
253Please respect copyright.PENANAlSkYZpdGrD
「我在乎的人全都離我而去……他們終歸離我而去……」女兒在遺書裡無意間吐露出他多年的心聲。「我不知道自己該要為何活下去……」253Please respect copyright.PENANAyGKyoCLeHk
253Please respect copyright.PENANAy1yn1kObmA
他又喝完一罐啤酒,再次將它扔向湖面。一罐復一罐,浮浮復沉沉。後來他乾脆省下喝酒的時間,直接將未開封的啤酒罐扔進湖面。啤酒罐被丟光以後,沙灘椅、戶外摺枱、櫃檯的硬皮簿、電話、文具、錢箱、身上的拖鞋、白色背心、運動短褲、內褲相繼遭殃。253Please respect copyright.PENANAStGf2NNrKD
253Please respect copyright.PENANAIyUhZILQPM
愧疚難當——如果自己當時認出女兒,或許她不會自殺!253Please respect copyright.PENANAeGjNM4AHsq
253Please respect copyright.PENANA6WDSkJztLN
赤條條的他倏忽縱身躍入水裡。寒意徹骨。水質混濁,視野模糊。無視危險,他游向多件漂浮雜物,逐件將它們拾回岸上。看見岸上雜物在自己的努力下慢慢增多,東歪西倒堆疊一起,他心裡更覺踏實,生起奇異的安寧。253Please respect copyright.PENANAsyTzCIoQjR
253Please respect copyright.PENANA9o25jhZdBm
他哭了。253Please respect copyright.PENANAjH9FSFhJTc
253Please respect copyright.PENANAmdO1v01Edt
為何而哭?為誰而哭?不知道。253Please respect copyright.PENANABtxpnpwCtn
253Please respect copyright.PENANAHenuASWfv7
不要問,不打算知道。253Please respect copyright.PENANAASCbHhUL04
253Please respect copyright.PENANAzpJtPQZdBC
他游回岸邊,軟癱地上,粗喘聲中仰望夜空。253Please respect copyright.PENANAZgl7DPAH0Z
253Please respect copyright.PENANAH2cpOPxwSR
筋疲力竭,必須休息。253Please respect copyright.PENANA3DDWDpEJDF
253Please respect copyright.PENANAGRC5da8KAj
不。尚有要事未辦。253Please respect copyright.PENANAHHRMliDxUy
253Please respect copyright.PENANARw1EmwShbT
他用盡力氣爬向雜物堆,抽出一罐未開封的啤酒。253Please respect copyright.PENANAcTxWpKgZid
253Please respect copyright.PENANA16bJZ2Z3JB
咔——253Please respect copyright.PENANArEp52pMp8g
253Please respect copyright.PENANAU8Ocma8UsY
骨碌骨碌骨碌——253Please respect copyright.PENANA6sIxwortIf
253Please respect copyright.PENANAFn6FSloB9S
嗄——253Please respect copyright.PENANAqY1YtXfyW0
253Please respect copyright.PENANAPhddrMBTbi
人生,但願如此。