No Plagiarism!0sf9iYtFt7n424Ct1kLtposted on PENANA (本節推薦搭配歌曲為美波 - ライラック)8964 copyright protection156PENANAOoXrVVSrln 維尼
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(8964 copyright protection156PENANAFpWSXYnYp3 維尼
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------老爸視角------8964 copyright protection156PENANAOhShCUZ0vu 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAItRcfPAH6V
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160Please respect copyright.PENANAnVeNVaq3ND
8964 copyright protection156PENANA7olYkCqExX 維尼
晚上實況結束後,我便直接洗洗睡了。醒來時已經是早上九點。8964 copyright protection156PENANAa5H6ue4r0t 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAVY7jVKpYTI
8964 copyright protection156PENANA76FtXFtbig 維尼
似乎夢到了什麼不好的事,一醒來卻通通忘了。只有殘留的些許緊張及冷汗,在告知自己有這件事。8964 copyright protection156PENANAm4W13vQCXz 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAfFz1OLQ849
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但既然忘了……就別逼自己回想了吧?8964 copyright protection156PENANAJ6iZAb9bw8 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAMsjtZ3rX24
8964 copyright protection156PENANAMitMoJ9gWi 維尼
總之,我仍舊直接起身到廁所梳洗。8964 copyright protection156PENANArUYBa1WYEx 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAkFi2WPS9YZ
8964 copyright protection156PENANAxcnMz7UC5t 維尼
感覺睡得不太好,有種過度警醒,卻依舊疲憊的感受在體內盤桓不去。就算刷牙洗臉完,也試著做了對現代人來說十分難得的早操,那感覺仍無消退的打算。8964 copyright protection156PENANAZgdYKlO1OP 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAIzL052kiQV
8964 copyright protection156PENANAV12IU9Q2tY 維尼
是肚子餓的關係嗎……?這麼想著的我直接去廚房煮了碗泡麵,接著坐到客廳沙發,像是心死的上班族般默默吃完再回廚房洗碗。8964 copyright protection156PENANA0VO629ICuw 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANANr8hTyoAeA
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洗完後回到房間,用手機傳訊息給北風說:昨天自己問太多了,並對拿問題堵她問題這點覺得抱歉,並且還在想賠罪的方式。一送完訊息,我便閉上眼睛拋開手機,在沙發上伸手摀住臉。8964 copyright protection156PENANAKMcp2tETEa 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAqHHOLaPlv4
8964 copyright protection156PENANAw6mUh1FkMB 維尼
「……嚇哈!」8964 copyright protection156PENANAwGkt7nie0F 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAxguadM185u
8964 copyright protection156PENANA3PiKpijIWy 維尼
發出了十分羞恥(被別人聽到的話),但能幫自己打氣的仿武士吆喝。8964 copyright protection156PENANACM0rGiEUHk 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAWX34HLD1mw
8964 copyright protection156PENANAy4SEqiigWk 維尼
好了。8964 copyright protection156PENANAFvoNd78YHb 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAuvsWaNEl5G
8964 copyright protection156PENANA7RIC5QBsAG 維尼
能先做的事都做完了,該是做那個練習的時候了。8964 copyright protection156PENANAzJRAAKxcIR 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAp4BFzIG13l
8964 copyright protection156PENANAgrzwkbfMoN 維尼
……做那件我下定決心做到的事。8964 copyright protection156PENANAvNysfKivCe 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANARQAanZKywG
8964 copyright protection156PENANAspPWmWcV5X 維尼
於是我深呼吸。接連深呼吸三次,才終於讓自己抓起家中鑰匙離開房間。8964 copyright protection156PENANAaZI8dWo3Og 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAIJmOT6ylU7
8964 copyright protection156PENANAWTuRfQNmIn 維尼
老實說──上次雖然成功走到陽台,但僅僅一次的成功經驗,無法讓恐懼就此消散。對於踏出家門這種事,還是會忍不住想要逃避。8964 copyright protection156PENANAixyBjorcDv 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAeQdGnEWmex
8964 copyright protection156PENANApTJx1RSoFt 維尼
很想做點事。無論什麼事都好,藉此讓自己不用面對那可怕的感受。8964 copyright protection156PENANAJa6SPxOhSl 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAUXBANLcxzQ
8964 copyright protection156PENANAH1mFZzL9Dh 維尼
就算曾經挑戰成功,但有時……這反而會讓自己不願再次嘗試。8964 copyright protection156PENANAufiP50Ccgz 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAeHLGUb2wpf
8964 copyright protection156PENANAfwtAXCl8Ml 維尼
比起失敗後又失敗,一度成功後卻再度失敗的挫折會讓人更難受。8964 copyright protection156PENANAyMHqafvq8V 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAPoyGz4IBG4
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所以說,看見希望不一定是好事。因為有些人──像是我──就會覺得希望保留在還是「希望」的狀態就好。畢竟一旦開始追逐,那希望可能反而會破滅,轉變成更深的絕望。8964 copyright protection156PENANAj4tZ7AMwBw 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAQr9gSEzQpz
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「……唉。」8964 copyright protection156PENANAinkHjBUkM9 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAY0giD3dyf0
8964 copyright protection156PENANA9dEgZiPk6M 維尼
但無論再想逃避,還是得繼續嘗試。8964 copyright protection156PENANAx41GPl7NHa 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAwh1eQrP1PF
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既然決定了。那麼為了自己──同時也是為了兩個孩子,無論如何都得繼續去試。8964 copyright protection156PENANAsqI1ErCiA7 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAyqZOQIW8m5
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「嘶──呼──嘶──呼──」8964 copyright protection156PENANATvumjoSei2 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANATH2jvjHMUW
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終於準備好後,我站在門口,再度深呼吸三次,試著完全放空。盡量不去想接下來要做的事,也不去想做不到的話會怎樣?8964 copyright protection156PENANAqmuKEagTSh 維尼
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8964 copyright protection156PENANAqZGHmVn4Vn 維尼
不去想那些會產生恐懼的事。8964 copyright protection156PENANAk4vKvtw9DF 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAPkjYKLvp4W
8964 copyright protection156PENANAoeaKMynqbY 維尼
似乎是因為原有的疲憊吧?感覺比較沒胡思亂想了。於是接下來,我小心維持著腦內的平衡,同時伸手抓住門把。8964 copyright protection156PENANAFPP4vE0gBy 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANA0zvedoZ9ux
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不會有事的……這就只是門把,不會怎樣的。接著再向右推,然後再走出去就好。8964 copyright protection156PENANAhFS7K5xagy 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAlryw3cviQ8
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閉上眼,只去想著門把的觸感……推開時的阻力還有抬腳向前時的肌肉感受──8964 copyright protection156PENANAU6kUHN4SWE 維尼
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8964 copyright protection156PENANAiCIBHqFmLA 維尼
努力讓自己集中在這些事上,不多想什麼有的沒的。結果一睜眼──便發現自己已然站在陽台。8964 copyright protection156PENANAyJqFQfdzE2 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAwbwQasqG0V
8964 copyright protection156PENANAx9YOhecM3Z 維尼
「呼……」稍微鬆了口氣。「看吧,就說不會怎麼樣了。」8964 copyright protection156PENANAku46pnfOS5 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAvAnRxqNIJ9
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然而,雖已過了第一關,但和上次相比根本沒任何不同。8964 copyright protection156PENANAMDSAXk9zTN 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAyoZfB6Oy9u
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但還是得鼓勵自己就是了。8964 copyright protection156PENANAgzjw1zfVkA 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAilmNi5uJEt
8964 copyright protection156PENANAyiTio2IDP9 維尼
稍微從陽台向外看去──恩,沒什麼特別的。是在客廳也看得見,對面公寓的水泥牆及別人客廳的──不行。再看下去大概會被當成偷窺狂。8964 copyright protection156PENANAqRfbenJPbI 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAw0kbF6vEMj
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而向左看去,便是這個社區的公園。是我……和子曦在若芸與輝烈還小時,常帶他們去玩的地方。8964 copyright protection156PENANA7ZGacjd8fm 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAywxvUqZRE2
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有點懷念。8964 copyright protection156PENANAlv8bS33XPP 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAfmpRTyI7IF
8964 copyright protection156PENANAJo4YoYaJnR 維尼
想到以前的事,即便現在也還是忍不住想笑。8964 copyright protection156PENANApouObMi80F 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAmJ1L8Q8lBs
8964 copyright protection156PENANA9Ar1Z2eUoh 維尼
那是一切都還正常,只屬於我們家的時光。8964 copyright protection156PENANAbuIWCy9Q45 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAtar4jDny5B
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子曦會一直在我身邊,若芸與輝烈也還小,整天黏著在家的我和她不放──8964 copyright protection156PENANAhIqthKhQni 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANABfDMJ2xzQT
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但如今卻完全相反。8964 copyright protection156PENANADWutqBDCz5 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANA2w5U50OS2R
8964 copyright protection156PENANAMI5RN5Dmiy 維尼
……一不小心又分心太久,還是把心思放回正事吧。8964 copyright protection156PENANABB81UckZfl 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAdD7JGsDnqj
8964 copyright protection156PENANApXyfn6hllg 維尼
把目標放在右手邊──那扇門的背後。8964 copyright protection156PENANAa5PcuWp6fg 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAVD1PSeN7Pw
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好吧。8964 copyright protection156PENANAvNqVvCDVb1 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAqO9UKHvqPh
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總而言之,我試著強迫自己向右轉,面對自己的家門。但直到扶住陽台欄桿,一點一滴用手扯動自己前,雙腿都不肯聽從使喚。8964 copyright protection156PENANAZcf1vdFkVI 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAQIK5dEXPYf
8964 copyright protection156PENANA3hp5IELusR 維尼
腦袋不斷發出警訊,警告自己別去碰……別看見那些事物。可是那就只是扇門,只要打開就能出去了,不就是這麼簡單而已?8964 copyright protection156PENANAj6ymwfrP6Y 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANA0VW8zIKTuS
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如果辦得到的話就試試啊?「這到底有什麼辦不到的?」8964 copyright protection156PENANAMQoz9273qA 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAMQNWn53xKf
8964 copyright protection156PENANAgzAZwGZrvc 維尼
如果不怕的話大可以打開那扇門啊?「......好啊。我就開給你看!」8964 copyright protection156PENANAgLj7kIdCa8 維尼
160Please respect copyright.PENANAsySoAxHWJI
8964 copyright protection156PENANA6s1F2yiQrl 維尼
只要像這樣伸手,握住大門握把再推開就──8964 copyright protection156PENANA0NmOJijBr3 維尼
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