last i wrote was the day before valentine's, on tuesday. i had a good valentines, i suppose, some teachers got mad at the plastic roses in class even though the school was selling them actively so people would give them to their loved ones. whatever. me and B tried getting milk shakes but the milk shake place was closed. it was a little devastating so we went to the nearest fast food place because i knew they sold icecream. B made me order a meal from there too, even though i just wanted the icecream because he didnt wanna feel fat because he was gonna eat a whole meal. i protested but he was paying so it was whatever.
while we were eating, he was messaging a girl in his year, the same girl that i mentioned in a previous entry, C. she's the one who wanted back with him and was next to obsessed with him. she had posted something about me on her snapchat story and B had figured out it was me and she had told him what happened. even though, B was there for it AND partially responsible, he didnt correct her story. he threw me under the bus entirely. i got mad and got up to walk away. i was mad but i played it off as just me goofin. he asked if i was mad and i said yeah, partially.
we left and as we were walking, we pass her as she was about to clock on to her shift at the fast food place we were just at. i was having a stress because she has been known to start fights and her friend, also mentioned in a previous entry as the one who tried to beat up my sister in the office, is also known to start fights. i told him "tell her. tell her you're to blame as well" they already dont like me, but they ride his dick like they're getting paid.
he didnt tell her. not until thursday morning. but thursday afternoon, C messaged my sister asking for what she knows. because one of C's friends was tellign my sister and her friend that C is getting her cousin to "talk to me" on friday. and if i just stay quiet and take it then C is going to "get involved". last time she initiated a fight she lost. which is hilarious because the girl was sitting down too. embarrassing.
either C or C's friend sent my sister screenshots of B throwign me under the bus. not taking responsibility and being a total buttfuck. so my sister messaged him, mad for throwing me under the bus like htat. his own lover. didnt even defend me.
i messaged him too, telling him to message me when he was off work. we talked about it but by the time he actually did get off work, my sister, mother and i had already sorted it out with C and she said she was very appreciative of my sisters co-operation.
this whole thing occurred because i made an offhanded comment about Cs brother carrying a rolling suitcase all wonky like. she was gonna get someone to beat me up because i pointed out him carrying. a rolling. suitcase. the wheels were out and everything. it was quite literally nothing personal.
then Friday came around and i felt like absolute shit. my stomach was churning and i couldnt breathe, i was going to throw up. i was messaging B, quite upset with everything still, telling him i didnt wanna go to school and he was probably seeing the last of my gorgeous face before it got mangled in an altercation. he told me not to think like that, im wrong, and everything will be fine. and it was
everything was fine. the girl who C was trying to get to 'talk to me' was in a school based program that will directly affect her future. if she was involved in a fight, she would get kicked out with no hesitation. zero tolerance policy. the girl who tried to beat up my sister in the office was also on an external program for the day so she couldnt do anything. C had little to no back up on this. she had her boyfriend i guess but its looked down on for a guy to get involved in a girl fight. so she was on her own. they came over to us at break but i hadnt realised how much shorter than me she was. i could look down to see her and her boyfriend is like my height more or less. it was ridiculous. and they came over, exclusively to intimidate but theyre such pipsqueaks, i didnt even realize. plus. i was talking to B and C's boyfriend hid behind B and C hid behind her boyfriend. i couldnt even see them. lame ass intimidation tactic, i barely noticed them. ridiculous. the whole day passed and nothing happened. i was happy. still a little upset with B but more or less, it was a good day.
i would be having J over for a sleepover that afternoon so it was so important that nothing bad happened.
J came over and we were sitting on the floor of my bedroom, going through everything thats been changing and stuff we're not happy about. such as, an old friend joining our extension english class which would disrupt the whole ecosystem we have going on. and the possibility of E ever getting to our 8am class on time. we talked a lot about E. she's only ever said why she didnt like me, she hasnt said anything about why shes not talking to J even though J is the reason we were friends in the first place. then we had maccas and talked more about how E is probably going to flunk year 11. and 12 at this rate.
she doesnt do any work. she'd only pretend. she'd write stuff down some times but only so if the teacher walked by her and only glanced at her work, they wouldn't pull her up on it. she learnt NOTHING in math last year. shed write all the questions out even against teachers orders and draw all the diagrams and spend so much time drawing them all that it looks like shes working but in reality she hasnt answered a single question. sometimes my teacher would get mad at me and tell me to help her out but i would always ask if she needed assistance or if she wanted to work together but she never accepted my offer.
she would sit there during history doing nothing. J asked her one day if she knew anything about the vietnam war we were learning about. she said she did so i quizzed her, "E, what was the fight about?" "E, who was the fight between?" "E, who won the fight?" all easy questions with easy answers, all the information is on two maybe three hand outs the teacher gave us that we were supposed to read and highlight important stuff. E clearly didnt do it. and even after we told her she should know all this stuff, she didnt make an effort to do anything.
in english, she didnt even read the book we had to read for an assessment. i went and asked the teacher for help but she didnt do anything. other people started finishing so they started goofing and they mustve thought E was finished too on account of her just sitting there so they started including her in conversation, distracting her from sitting there and not doing her work.
in pdhpe, she'd always sit out. she'd always find away to not participate. J has a chronic illness and it makes exercising hard for her. but she'd still participate. theres nothing physically wrong with E at all. she wouldnt even tell us whats up. and its one in all in btw! we were doing the work so she wouldnt be lonely if she decided to include herself. sometimes my teacher would bring out real exercise equipment and we'd goof around doing that. me and J took it so seriously, we always pushed ourselves the furthest we could go. we wanted to hurt, we wanted to ache, we didnt want to be able to walk around without jelly legs. but E? she'd slack off. she'd complain the whole time and whinge and bitch and moan about how bad her arms hurt or she'd just stop midway through the round. the teacher would pair us into twos and set a timer for two minutes and the pair's would take turns on the equipment. E would stop 30 seconds into a round if she felt so inclined. and yet, she still wanted to badly to join us in going to the gym for school sport. even though she'd just stand there awkwardly and not do anything. it was so embarrassing because i hate crowds, especially in places like a gym. she wouldnt go on the equipment, she wouldnt want to TRY the equipment even though it was all our first times and she'd just follow us around.
she chose to take a ceramic based art elective last year. the teacher would give us different clays to work with, she'd teach us techniques and how to use the tools and let us go wild. the only rule was we couldnt make ashtrays, penises or bongs out of the clay. pretty straight forward. and for a class E chose on her own, you'd think she'd participate. no, she didnt want the clay under her fingernails, she didnt like getting the clay all over her hands, she didnt wanna touch it. even though there were several sinks in the classroom and all over the school she could wash her hands at if she got clay ick.
in music, another chosen elective, she'd just sit at a keyboard on her phone. pretending to play sometimes and other times just sitting there. me and J arent in that class. we were in cooking at the time she did music so we didnt get to observe her. but its so ironic how she doesnt even know how to play keyboard in music but in art she did a painting that was supposed to represent her and it was of a keyboard and guitar and music notes and shit like that. im also not in her art class, me and J have music at that time. i play bass guitar and J plays rhythm notes on piano. we're an unstoppable duo. who cant play songs together because we both play bass line and neither play the melody.
me and J love horror movies, but not scary ghost horror movies, we like movies that make us uncomfortable. we watched pieles and scary stories to tell in the dark, last night, last time we had a sleepover we watched midsommar and american psycho. always need something to cleanse the pallet. my favourites are midsommar and pieles. then we went to bed at only 2am (our record is 6 almost 7 am) and played mario kart when we woke up.
i felt a little bad because i couldnt message B constantly because i was hosting but i had warned him forever in advance so he'd know. so when J went home, i messaged him immediately, but he stopped messaging back randomly. he was with his boy friends; my ex, my ex's best friend and some other guy. so he couldn't talk. hurt my heart a little bit because for that many people to come over on seemingly short notice is so impossible. there would have had to be a bit of planning. and he didnt tell me about it. so i have nothing to do. so im writing this. woahh so meta, a reference to writing a blog in a blog while im currently writing a blog woahh woah wwwoahhhh thats crazyyy. he said they'd be leaving his house at 2 so then we could talk without interuption like usual. but then 2 rolled around and he messaged that he was at my ex's house. my ex who lives just up the street from me. i dont know why but i got an anxious over it, maybe i was worried my ex would come find me, or he'd tell B some awful things about me. i have no control or knowledge on whats going on just up the road from where i sit and write right now which stresses me out.
im just worried about back to school on monday. C will have her backup if she felt so inclined to attack me. i know we like sorted it out n stuff and it wasnt a big deal to start off with but still, let a girl stress out for a second. i stress out in preparation for the worst but when the worst comes, im still not prepared.
hopefully, i'll live. i'll try to write more consistently. i fell off the face of the earth for a while there.
-vinsie190Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13Nv048lOM
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